Girlfriend wants to get more tattoos, but I don't like them

[bcgirl]

Tattoos have become very popular in this generation. Tattoos are an art form and expression of who you are. She is an adult and she can do whatever she wants to her body. If she wants to put a big tattoo on her forehead, she can go right ahead. So you don't like tattoos, the next guy she meets may find tattoos extremely sexy. I used to work in a plastic surgery clinic and you'd be surprised how many women get breast implants because their bf or hubby liked big boobs...after a break up or divorce they come back to get the implants removed because they never really wanted it in the first place. Or the amount of women who would come in wanting work done but not wanting their husbands to know because their husbands didn't want them to alter their appearance. In the end of it all, if you really want something because it will make yourself feel more complete (tattoos in this case) then just get it done. Life is too short.

[basilandthyme]

Marcus, you're very caught up in wanting her to do what is important to you. But there is a flipside - it can equally be argued that you should support her because it's important to her.

The fact that both of these lines of thought contradict each other means that they are null and void. This is why the third argument of 'it's her body and her decision' is the only one that matters.

[basilandthyme]

She also said "we could talk about it after she had done it, and if I didn't like her or her body anymore, we could see about that". I mean... what there is to talk after she's done it?

I forgot to mention: what you talk about after the tattoo is done is compatibility. The discussion would be along the lines of "if you can't accept me for who I am, then I will find someone who will".

Mate, there are so many good men out there....why should she settle for one who doesn't support her when there are so many others who will support her?

[VincenzoG91]

What if the tattoo was a swastika? Anybody here want to change their response in that scenario?

[searock]

A swastika tattoo would have implications on her moral values - it would go beyond mere aesthetics. The very fact that she would want to get such a tattoo would be a deal-breaker for me (assuming that she applies the whole nazi meaning to the swastika symbol).

But of course, it would be her choice. As it would be my choice to break up with her (and seriously question my judgement, that made me end up with her in the first place).

[HeartIsAching]

What if the tattoo was a swastika? Anybody here want to change their response in that scenario?

I sure don't. If a GF of mine wanted a swastika, that's her business. I would then choose to not have that particular GF, and that would be my business.

I'd probably want to wash my dick with lysol and steel wool though.

[AGuy101]

What if the tattoo was a swastika? Anybody here want to change their response in that scenario?

None of you understand what political freedom or independence is. I could find any person off the street and just take my time trying to turn her into a projection of my values but that's impossible. I couldn't value anything. Why? Well, ask yourself this: why are you trying to turn someone into you? Do you want love? Are you trying to project a metaphysical-concrete of your inner self which is a ZERO? A zombie is a zombie. They cannot exist in reality. Lol. Zombies need brains. And thats what whores need. As I constantly say, emptiness cannot fill emptiness. The un-earned, the nothing, the zombies need the good, the virtuous to live. They need to eat BRAINS!!! This man cannot love himself. If he did he would dump this woman.

WHATEVER.

Simple. This is the objective answer:

There is no answer. Why? Because this man is asking an invalid question. He wants to eat his cake and have it too: he wants a girlfriend and a prostitute too. There is no answer. I am done.

[basilandthyme]

What if the tattoo was a swastika? Anybody here want to change their response in that scenario?

Too easy. If a boyfriend of mine got a swastika, I'd dump him on the spot. Even if he changed his mind about the tattoo, I'd still dump him because of his political values.

Edited to add: imagine a boyfriend wanted to get something hideous but less controversial - say a tattoo of barbed wire around his neck. While I would not push my thoughts on him, I may well leave him because of it.

In short, I still believe that one can't push their values. But I do believe in finding someone who's values reflect our own.

[surfhb]

Btw....I hate my fiancée's tattoo. I don't dare saying anything since its not my place to do so. Besides that she just awesome

[HeartIsAching]

None of you understand what political freedom or independence is.

Who the **** do you think you are? You sure as hell don't know me. Stuff your "none of you" up your ass.

[VincenzoG91]

Sorry to go to the swastika extreme to make a point, but it so happens that I love this song by the Skints:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arawSVmk3Tw

"She got a swastika tattooed to the torso
You look in her eyes and see in her face, she not remorseful"

[Marcus2012]

Well... bottom line...
She has just too many things that I love in her for me to leave her for a few tatoos... I will support her. I believe she will be understanding, she will talk to me before as she has done so far, and she will not exagerate.

But, as said, there's a limit that I can tolerate, since I don't like tatoos. If she passes this limit, I might find myself not attracted to her anymore, or I might think that shes is dull or whatever... and then, I would have no choice. I wish I could to something to elimate the chances of this happening, but it seems I just can't. I would hate myself to leave the person I love because she has tatooed her body too much...

Maybe I can't convince her not to do this, it's a lost battle... maybe all I can do is just hope she takes some of my feelings into consideration, or that she she isn't stupid enough to transform herself into a walking "work of art".

[Marcus2012]

Edited to add: imagine a boyfriend wanted to get something hideous but less controversial - say a tattoo of barbed wire around his neck. While I would not push my thoughts on him, I may well leave him because of it.

In short, I still believe that one can't push their values. But I do believe in finding someone who's values reflect our own.

That's what I think... but image this boyfriend was perfect for you in every way except for that.
Wouldn't you try to convince him not to do it?

And if he did, it would be hard to leave him for that wouldn't it?
I would probably do the same, but it would not be easy.

[Maple1714]

She will probably dump you first and find a hot guy that also has tattoos. I once dated a guy when I was in college who told me he thought people with tattoos were in a different "class" than he was. What a stuck up snob he was! He is still single today at 31 and a momma's boy.

What is it you don't like about tattoos? May I ask how old you are? Do you like art in general?

[basilandthyme]

That's what I think... but image this boyfriend was perfect for you in every way except for that.
Wouldn't you try to convince him not to do it?

And if he did, it would be hard to leave him for that wouldn't it?
I would probably do the same, but it would not be easy.

I guess the barbed wire would represent aggession to me. I'd live with other, less confronting tatts...but I can't imagine the kind of guy I go for having a barbed wire tattoo. I'm very middle class LOL

Therefore, I can't imagine the 'perfect guy' having a tattoo which is controversial.