A few Issues

[Jazz2010]

So I take it this means he is now refusing the blow jobs you give because he is not reciprocating the favor?

I'm glad you pointed that out. Actually, no. And because of that I have taken a 'break.' For a while I worried that he didn't like that taste. I asked him and he was quick to stop me. He loves it, or so he says. Yet I hardly ever get more than a few minutes down there, but I give him the full thing. Then of course, once he's done, there's no more. But I'm always craving more after it. I feel really awkward saying that...

But anyway, maybe I'm just being too nice and refuse to say no.
I just love the mood he's in the few days after. I never though something like that would have such an effect.

[shh!]

You shouldn't ever feel awkward about expecting reciprocation. It actually makes me sad that you do. A guy would NEVER feel awkward about expecting to orgasm, and you can bet that he'd be plenty upset if you stopped abruptly. Don't you think you are as deserving of pleasure as he is?

This is actually my biggest problem with teen sex. Young girls haven't yet found their voice and the strength they need to advocate for themselves. They cheat themselves out of what they deserve, which ultimately leaves them feeling bad about themselves, and the boys get all they pleasure without the risk of getting pregnant.

[Jazz2010]

Well, considering some things I've done, I've got to be grateful he even gave me a second chance. But the thing I never told him, I cheated on him to get his attention back. [But remember, I'm only sixteen. It wasn't like I went and slept with this guy. We just went to the movies together.] But that's a totally new subject. It was a huge mistake I made, but it's over and done with.

I've turned him down a few times since, using an excuse every time. It'll probably come back to bite me though.

[Cain]

If he was truly accepting of your wanting to wait, he wouldn't continue to ask you about it over and over again, regardless of whether it's every few days or every few weeks. He would accept that when you're ready, you'll tell him. He's not doing that and that's a cause for concern.

You're still young and I truly think you should continue to wait for the right one. Don't buy into his "you don't think I'm the one?" bullshit. I can almost guarantee that any boyfriend you have in high school won't be with you when you leave college, if it even lasts that long. You've still got so much growing to do and so does he... there's a good chance that you'll both grow apart anyways.

You know, I think he's trying to be clever. He knows that going down on you turns you on and puts you in the mood, so maybe he thinks that if he goes down on you for a couple of minutes and then stops that you'll want to go ahead and have sex.

[shh!]

Well, considering some things I've done, I've got to be grateful he even gave me a second chance. But the thing I never told him, I cheated on him to get his attention back.

You mean you've already lost his attention once?

You DO realize you are going to have to continue jumping through increasingly large hoops to keep his attention, right?

For the record, I don't consider going to the movies with no sexual contact "cheating", although some people might, I suppose.

EDIT: Hi Cain! Where have you been? Vacation?

[Cain]

For the record, I don't consider going to the movies with no sexual contact "cheating", although some people might, I suppose.

I don't see how anyone can consider that cheating... unless you're an immature boy or girl.

[Cain]

EDIT: Hi Cain! Where have you been? Vacation?

I was visiting my girlfriend... and then just took a little break. To be honest, after getting back from her house I had forgotten all about LF.

[Jazz2010]

Sadly, there was one time I actually wanted to have sex. But, thankfully, we didn't have a condom handy. That amazed me somewhat. He said no because he wasn't protected, I should respect that, right?

And Cain, I don't think he completely ignores my feelings and opinions. An example: We were getting a little rowdy on the couch while his parents were gone. His little sister was outside. Well, he reached down and started messing with his pants and I immediately freak out. I was afraid at that moment. But all he did was make an 'adjustment.' It really messed with his emotions, he felt so bad for scaring me like that. He never had the intention of sex at that time. I realized that he was concerned about me. He kept apologizing and felt really bad about it. That's something I always keep in mind.

I'll admit, he knows what to do to get me worked up. But using my weakness against me doesn't seem like something he would do. But of course, I've never been in a situation like this.

shh!::
Yeah, I have lost his attention once already. I'm not greedy for attention, but he just seemed to be pre-occupied with other things. Sure we didn't have 'sexual contact', but it was with my best guy friend, a guy my boyfriend hates with a burning passion. Plus, it was while he was on vacation. My boyfriend is jealous of me getting any guys attention. Even if I just say hey to an old friend, he starts up twenty questions.

[Cain]

Sadly, there was one time I actually wanted to have sex. But, thankfully, we didn't have a condom handy. That amazed me somewhat. He said no because he wasn't protected, I should respect that, right?

And Cain, I don't think he completely ignores my feelings and opinions. An example: We were getting a little rowdy on the couch while his parents were gone. His little sister was outside. Well, he reached down and started messing with his pants and I immediately freak out. I was afraid at that moment. But all he did was make an 'adjustment.' It really messed with his emotions, he felt so bad for scaring me like that. He never had the intention of sex at that time. I realized that he was concerned about me. He kept apologizing and felt really bad about it. That's something I always keep in mind.

I'll admit, he knows what to do to get me worked up. But using my weakness against me doesn't seem like something he would do. But of course, I've never been in a situation like this.

shh!::
Yeah, I have lost his attention once already. I'm not greedy for attention, but he just seemed to be pre-occupied with other things. Sure we didn't have 'sexual contact', but it was with my best guy friend, a guy my boyfriend hates with a burning passion. Plus, it was while he was on vacation. My boyfriend is jealous of me getting any guys attention. Even if I just say hey to an old friend, he starts up twenty questions.

It sounds like he's insecure on top of immature. Don't say that "he doesn't seem like the type..." because there will be countless women that will tell you that they've heard the same line before giving it up and getting tossed to the curb when the guy got what he wanted.

[Jazz2010]

It sounds like he's insecure on top of immature. Don't say that "he doesn't seem like the type..." because there will be countless women that will tell you that they've heard the same line before giving it up and getting tossed to the curb when the guy got what he wanted.

I just really want this to be a serious relationship, not just a high school fling. He's talked about 'our' future before numerous times. I've had someone tell me he may be getting too close, too fast.

[Cain]

I just really want this to be a serious relationship, not just a high school fling. He's talked about 'our' future before numerous times. I've had someone tell me he may be getting too close, too fast.

Don't even talk about the future until you are together after you leave high school. Most high school romances do NOT last.

[Jazz2010]

I'm afraid of getting too attached to him for that exact reason. =/
I don't want to see him leave.
Chances are, he will eventually.
It's just a fact of life. I'll admit though, I've fallen hard for him.

[Cain]

I'm afraid of getting too attached to him for that exact reason. =/
I don't want to see him leave.
Chances are, he will eventually.
It's just a fact of life. I'll admit though, I've fallen hard for him.

You're going to look back on this 10 years from now and realize you weren't in love with him. Trust me, you're too young to truly know what love is.

[Jazz2010]

I guess I'm just like this since it's my longest relationship. =/
It doens't exactly help that his sister tells me I'm going to be the coolest sister-in-law. Haha.
So basically, I'm saying no to sex until I think the time is right.
But I've been told that when it happens, it just happens. You don't really think about it.

[Aegis]

Cain...thank God you're back. I'm getting exhausted trying to give real advice in your stead.