Ex Acting Strange

[xxazurexx]

Well you recieved plenty of advice in that thread, but obviously you took no notice.

This is a relationship that for whatever reason, she decided to end. She has been gone 6 weeks and has made no mention of coming back to you.

Why can't you just accept that it's OVER and you have to move on? Rather than be sitting around and trying to second guess, what is going in that c-r-a-z-z-z-y head of hers.

You can't blame her and for the fact you can't move on and because you make the choice to still keep her around and by way of answering her calls and texts. So you only have yourself to blame.

Quit being afraid to lose her and cut her off and out of your life. While she has you where she wants you, she has no incentive to change and she won't make up her mind in regard to what she realy wants.

[ben86]

That was the annoying thing though, that she did, as far as I was concerned we were gonna be getting back together after her exams bcus that's what she said she wanted. Yeah i guess, I know it's my fault and no one was forcing me to hang around, I'm just not very good at not giving into temptation! Like I just messaged her asking her why she phoned me, and totally know I shouldn't have done

[Caleb]

Don`t worry my friend, iv`e seen this one on animal planet. Ex`s like taking their time when it comes to dealing with their lose and gain, its all a natural part of their psychosis ;-). I`m just kidding of course. Look, I think the deal goes like this: She sounds to me like one of those woman who is all about keeping as many "cards" as she can. You know, in order to compensate for all the times her daddy didnt hug her or what not. In any case, she is obviously trying to keep you close by because she is lonely right now. She probably does this to you because she like`s having someone whom she trusts with her emotionality, but doesnt feel like she owe`s anything too. That`s why the second a "better" option comes along, be sure that you will no longer be "required". Oh, and btw, if I where you, I would probably assume that right now I would be "guy number 4". In fact, I would be positive about that because when a woman calls you out of the blue late at night, it usually means one thing: dissatisfaction. It usually means that she is lonely and horny. And neither of these options imply complete honesty when it comes to ex`s, if you ask me.

[ben86]

I guess, my ego just doesn't allow me to think that she can find anyone better to be honest, I'd always be a bit "really?! him?! lol", so have trouble getting the whole being guy guy number 4 thing lol

[Caleb]

Well, we all have ego`s. That`s true lol. But cheer up, number 4! no matter what happens in your romantic life, breasts are a dime a dozen don`t worry, i`m sure that you will find someone better then her.

[xxazurexx]

I guess, my ego just doesn't allow me to think that she can find anyone better to be honest, I'd always be a bit "really?! him?! lol", so have trouble getting the whole being guy guy number 4 thing lol

Well while your ego thinks she can find nobody better, you don't in fact have 'that' high an opinion of yourself, or you wouldn't allow her to mess you around.

If you think of yourself as 'valuable', then act 'valuable'.

[ben86]

Well while your ego thinks she can find nobody better, you don't in fact have 'that' high an opinion of yourself, or you wouldn't allow her to mess you around.

If you think of yourself as 'valuable', then act 'valuable'.

How's that? Just because I cared about her? I didn't go with the whole "playing hard to get" despite what everyone's told me to do because it's not me and I don't act like somone else for anyone.

[Caleb]

Um..pardon the intrusion.. but I think that some common sense is in order here. This is none of my business, of course, but I have to ask you something, Azure. Why are you pissed off at him? he`s a guy and that`s what guys do. Nobody here is a saint, you can blame it genetics if you want. I mean, yeah, its obvious that there is some foul play here on both sides because if he really wanted to get rid of her, he would. And that would be the end of it. But you see, he`s a guy. Most guys are not that good in handling temptation because guys don`t get sexual offers on daily basis. That`s just how it is. Think of it as somewhat of a cause and effect thing. Yes, their current "push and pull" relationship will probably end the second one of them stops being available. Or loses interest. But until then, they are just doing what they can with what they have. Its just one of those things that most people do, but no one likes to admit. That`s all there is to it. What, Its true.

[cmacattack1]

How's that? Just because I cared about her? I didn't go with the whole "playing hard to get" despite what everyone's told me to do because it's not me and I don't act like somone else for anyone.

While it's not you, and I know you are who you are, but from what most of us have seen, this kind of behavior doesn't get you anywhere. You don't need to play games and "pretend that you aren't interested", but you have to really think logically about this so that you genuinely don't want to be with her anymore. You can't help how you feel but you can control what you do. What she is doing is jerking you around and I promise you it won't get you anywhere that you want. Even if you are back together, there is too much hurt and bad feelings for it to be anything substantial. When you NEED somebody in your life and lean on them like a crutch, it kind of replaces the actual point of a relationship: TO HAVE A GREAT TIME TOGETHER. To WANT to have them in your life to enhance it. Yes, eventually you will want to marry somebody and all that, but you have to take this one step at a time here.

To have to try and get you back out of loneliness implies that she needs somebody there, and if there isn't anybody there, you are the closest thing to somebody. But she'll have her eye out for others and you will end up getting hurt. Some time on her own is needed so that she can make a change to become a better person then the one that she was in your relationship. You both made mistakes sure, but if you both got back together as the same people, and nothing changed, logically it would only end in breaking up again.

If it helps you achieve the right mental mindset, you have to tell yourself that if you were back together today, it wouldn't work out. Plain and simple.