He said he can't give me a relationship , what should I do ?

[Joyk]

I don`t feel like i have been used, i have been concious the whole time that things might not be what they appear, as he told me before we met , " I`m not really what I seem. " and i`m not playing the victim either , i just liked him more than i should have , but that`s my bad ... I still think about him every second or so , even though I`m trying to keep my mind busy , i read 3 books since thursday , even while I`m reading , he`s still there in my every thought. It`s hard , but i hope it will just get easier . He hasn`t contacted me yet ... I wish things were different ..

[Wakeup]

You have a good attitude about this Joy. It's good you don't see yourself as a victim and you don't consider yourself as being used (since you weren't when you volunteered) Too many women volunteer for shit and then blame the man when it was their choice to do what they did.. You will be fine.

Getting over this guy is just like quitting smoking. When we first go cold turkey off of nicotine, all we do is think about cigarettes, we talk ourselves out of keeping no contact with the butt, we try to talk ourselves into reason why we should just borrow one cig and then that's all we'll have, we argue with ourselves all the while keeping the very thing we want to cleanse ourself of forefront in our mind. Eventually, as time marches on, we keep ourselves busy, we do other things than what we did while we smoked, the next thing we know, we aren't focusing on it anymore, we hardly even think about having another drag, we are rehabbed from the toxic and living just fine without causing ourselves harm by continuing such a bad habit.

Give yourself some time and you'll be rehabbed from the toxic him as well... Just don't do what I did and gain 20 lbs by substituting the toxic substance with potato chips... lol (working on the weight management now)

[Joyk]

Wakeup ur so sweet I did a dumb thing , he contacted me , he said I shouldn't have acted the way I did the last time , and that we should give it another go ... I said I'm gonna think about it... I still want him ...

[codnchips]

Hi it sounds a little bit desperate but we've all been there. I would personally move on and find someone else who IS interested in a relationship. If he's saying this to you he may be saying it to others, or as someone stated he may have a partner or other love interest, either way it's not going to end nicely for you if you hang around. You could always try a [URL="http://www.wiseheartdating.co.uk/"]mature dating[/URL] site or something.

[Wakeup]

Wakeup ur so sweet I did a dumb thing , he contacted me , he said I shouldn't have acted the way I did the last time , and that we should give it another go ... I said I'm gonna think about it... I still want him ...

Of course you still want him it's only been a couple of days or so since you last got schtuuped and you've hardly given yourself time to rehab from him. You know he's going to give you a good lay and then he'll disappear like he always did and you're going to cry because he doesn't love you the way you want him to. I think you're foolish if you continue on being his fook buddy because he'll steal your joy and your self-worth while playing with you and never giving you what you want. When he hooks up with someone new and just keeps you as his back-up you'll long for him. I've seen this story a 1000 times and it always ends up the same.

Men like him like to get a woman to the point of psychological damage where they'll abandon their own children to be with him just for a bit of dick... Sad really but I suppose you'll learn the lesson sooner or later.

Be well.

[Joyk]

I havent told him yet if I want to give it another go , I thought if he really wants he's gonna have to put some effort N
And he hasn't .. I'm better now I can go out without thinking oh I could have spend this time with him , I'm working long hours and whenever I had time I wanted to be with him. Not anymore. I relaxed a bit I guess .. I'm still very confused but I know for a fact that if he wants just sex I'm not gonna accept. We had such a good time before the sex .. Oh well I'm just gonna wait and see .

[bulrush]

Joyk, I think I may have misled you. If you want a passionate fling, go for it as long as it is not hurting you. But if you want something serious, I don't think this guy is it. At first I assumed you believed this guy could get serious with you. But, a fling can be fun also. Enjoy it while you can. Learn from it, love it. When it's time, move on. Don't assume it's bad just because society told you it's bad. Enjoy life a little, but protect yourself too. Maybe hold back on your emotions a bit.

[bulrush]

Men like him like to get a woman to the point of psychological damage where they'll abandon their own children to be with him just for a bit of dick... Sad really but I suppose you'll learn the lesson sooner or later.

Be well.

That's not a real man, that's a hormonal jerk. Real men are honest about their intentions, and let women decide how to proceed.

[James Banes]

I`d like to think I am hot , I am happy with the way I look , I can pull almost any guy i want , it wasn`t that i wasnt hot enough , he`s mentally unstable , he said at some point that he`s gay so I`m perfectly fine , he`s ****ed up . He can`t have a girlfriend he`s too much into his work . and i don`t know what girl could actually put up with his behaviour. His ex to whom he was engaged clearly knew better when she left him . His loss wakeup i think i love you lol

You better have a cool personality to go with those looks. Men don't lament the loss of a woman with a boring or miserable personality, no matter how hot she is. However, a man will lament the loss of a woman who he finds attractive with a cool personality.

Ex: I once knew a chick that looked like a blonde Christina Hendricks. She had the sex appeal and everything. But she had a boring personality where she only liked to go shopping, gossip, watch television, and she could be real stuck-up. She's gone now. But on the occasions I think about her I think about having sex with her and that's it. Then there's a chick I knew who looked like Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island (real name Dawn Wells) but with a noticeably bigger nose and glasses. She was cool, liked to comics, video games, outdoors, was real athletic, and understanding. Whenever I think about her, I think about all the cool stuff I could do with her like hiking and cycling, and how it's hard to find a woman who was as fun as she was. Yes, I think about the sex, but I think longer and lament way more her loss than the blonde.

So yeah, if you have a hot body and a dull personality then you're like the loss of an object to a guy. If you have a cool personality to go with it then you're the loss of a human being to him.

[Joyk]

All my friends are telling me to let go , I had lots of fun with him , he's a smart guy , and I enjoyed what we had.I'm not assuming it's bad to have a fling , I actually would enjoy that , I'm very positive , I get upset at times as I'm only human . He made it clear that he can't be emotionally involved , not at the beginning though. I understood and accepted . He always told me I'm a cool girl and he wouldn't want to hurt me , and that it's not that he's not attracted to me , it's him he has issues. He seems very confident but he's actually very scared . I think helooks amazing and the things he said and did at the begining made me stay and wait. I don't know if I feel the same , but I'd give it another go .

[smackie9]

you are d ink whipped.....

[Joyk]

? Didn't get that

[Wakeup]

^^^ You are the opposite of pussy whipped.. You are cock-struck and willing to give up your emotional well being for sex and abuse.

[Joyk]

Ah thank you Wakeup , if I were to meet him again and give up another go , I am sure I wouldn't be that stupid to give my emotional well being , I know what he is , and I'm realistic , it's just hard to let go. We spoke yesterday , he was being quite a jerk , telling me one of his friends likes me and that he's a good guy unlike him . I played cool and told him I'm not interested , and then he really pissed me off and I told him ok give me that guys number , I actually wanted it cuz he's a bouncer and I wanted to ask him about a club I'm going tonite for my friends hen party . He went crazy " !!! Don't have his number , you can find him at the shop !!!! " lol he's damaged totally .

[Joyk]

I now know for a fact that's he's crazy . He txted the other day out of the blue while I was at work saying "let's meet " and then "k,maybe not " and then "I'm working , no point " , " working ! What kind of response is that ?" 4 txts talking to himself lol I'm lost )