Should I just forget him or keep hoping that he will come back?

[HeartIsAching]

Was all set to write a long answer to this and just said... **** it.

No, you're not going to get him back. He's seen your true colors and wants nothing to do with you romantically as a result.

[tifftje2812]

My true colors.. Lol I realize that judging a situation if you don't know a person at all, doesn't work.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You did show your true colors. You're controlling. Clingy people usually are. You said when you want him to do what you want...that's controlling.

[tifftje2812]

I can understand why you think I'm controlling. I really do. But that's not who I really am. My ex before him was a manipulative controlling asshole who used me, hit me, ... And it took a long time before I could get away from him because I was so scared of him. And I'm working on my trust because my personality is not controlling at all. And that's what I want to show him by giving him time and space. By letting him do what he wants. By taking time for myself. So that he can see that this was a one time outburst. But not who I really am. It's just my trust has been broken really bad and that's why I reacted like this. But normally I am not controlling at all and I let my boyfriend do whatever he wants as long as he is happy. Otherwise I wouldn't have said sorry straight after the fight. And told him that I understand his choice to break up. And that he didn't deserve my reaction. That I overreacted and caused drama for nothing but that this will never happen again.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You do seem sorry, but I wonder what would have happened, had your yelling at him actually had the desired effect. I bet it would not have been a one time outburst, if instead of dumping you, he blew his friend off and stayed with you. Its good you've seemingly learned the lesson, and you will certainly benefit whether this guy takes you back or not.

[tifftje2812]

Yes it was a one time outburst. Because I was ill on friday, so I couldn't do much. I went with him to see his favorite soccer team on saturday and then let him go out alone with a male friend of him. The next day I went with him and a friend to a football match he wanted to see. I justed one night in that weekend just for him and me. I don't care if he goes out a lot with friends. I do trust him. I always let him be with one of his friends when he liked. It was just a bad weekend for me, and I wanted a cosy night just me and him... And I got mad because I didn't feel he respected that.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Oh, you let him go out with his friend did you? Not controlling at all.

It's not your decision to let him go or not.

[tifftje2812]

No I just let him do what he wanted. I mean that he did this and I didn't say anything or got mad. I don't mean he had to ask permission or anything

[tifftje2812]

Maybe if he sees it like that to.. Can I prove him that I'm not like that at all by giving him all te space he wants?

[VincenzoG91]

Three months in, you two were still getting to know one another. Maybe that fight made him see a big red flag, based on his past experiences or even things that happened to friends.

[tifftje2812]

He had a very needy girlfriend in the past who he had a on and off relationship with. And then she cheated on him 8 times. That really broke his heart. But I am someone who is willing to give a boyfriend all the space he wants. My boyfriend before me never left me alone and was very controlling and became agressive when I did things on my own. So I was just trying to found out what to do best, and now I know that I was wrong. I just want to prove him that I truly love him and care about him. And I'm willing to give him all the space he wants. I was just adjusting to someone new. Not really certain what he wanted. Now I know he cares so much for his freedom, I would be willing to give him all he wants. Prove him that I'm not like her. That as long as he's happy, he can go out and do stuff whenever he wants. I believe he has seen this as a red flag because of things in the past, but I want to show him that it will be different this time. That I now realize what he needs and I'm willing to respect that. I just don't know how. I know he still really loves me.

[VincenzoG91]

Give him freedom. Lots of freedom. So much freedom that he wonders where you are. Maybe then he will be ready to get back together with you.

[tifftje2812]

Ok maybe I should ignore him for a while... 3 weeks or so? And if he ever comes back he will be cooled down about what happened and only the good memories will be left. And then I will make sure that I will always give him all te freedom he wants! And have a good talk about what he wants and what he doesn't like at all. And I will respect that.

[tifftje2812]

Day 3 of no contact.. I went out with friends, talked to friends, worked. But I still miss him it's really hard. I'm scared he will just forget about me...

[Maple1714]

Day 3 of no contact.. I went out with friends, talked to friends, worked. But I still miss him it's really hard. I'm scared he will just forget about me...

First of all, he will never forget about you. Don't worry about that part....distance/space really does make the heart either grow fonder or totally disinterested. Only time will tell. You have to stick with the no contact...it's the best way. It's hard, but just do all the things you enjoy and if you feel weak or lonely call a friend. Let him come to you BUT don't be fooled into thinking it's true love the second he contacts you again. Be cautious and just take things slowly if he does come back into your life.