Ladies, could you help a dumb naive guy like me understand what, exactly, happened?

[Empty Road]

I guess what I find myself curious about is why ex #1 is more "appealing" to be around than someone like me. I mean, he's a sleaze with a silver tongue, and he cheated on her, so why does she want to indulge him and hover around each other so much at work? Why is it that a guy like him is "okay", but someone like me, who only ever had feelings for her, is a "keep away from"? I don't know what will happen with them, and like I said, I know it's none of my business, and again, that's not what this topic is about.

This is a classic case of Alpha males vs Beta males. In the animal kingdom, Alpha males generally get to mate with almost all the females in the herd. Females evolve to desire males with Alpha traits, such as confidence, power, and status. Alpha males are bold and not afraid to talk to girls. They don't worship girls the way Beta males do, they make fun of them instead. Alpha males can have a temper and will fight if someone challenge them. Jocks, Jerks, and Bad boys generally are Alpha males. When a girl detects a Alpha male presence their panty gets wet. Ex #1 is a Apha male. Beta males however are generally weak and submissive. They are timid and usually avoid confrontations. Beta males worships the ground that females walk on, they are the doormats, the nice guys and the white knights who think their good deeds will attract the female. But it won't. When female detect a Beta Male presence, their instinct tells them he is "yucky." Now, why would girls want Apha males who might cheat on them? Because they want their offspring to inherit those strong traits. They are not making this decision consciously, it's all happening subconsciously. Now I want to clarify that being a Alpha male doesn't mean they are automatically going to be bad or unfaithful. There are good Alpha males out there too, they are the real men. And most women want a real man. This is why the girl find ex #1 more appealing than you. And why is she still so close to him even though he cheated on her? Because she's not smart enough to avoid such a douche-bag.

[Indestructible]

Yeah, but I don't consider myself a "door mat". I'd say I probably would have been years ago, but I think the best way to describe myself is someone with "quiet confidence". I don't go around trying to make sure everyone knows how cool and awesome I am, I don't make a whole lot of "noise", I don't act like I'm God's gift to women, or anything like that. But at the same time, I'm not completely submissive, I don't act like a "puppy dog" to anyone, and honestly, I enjoy being playful and teasing a girl (in good fun, of course) if I have the right "chemistry" with her.

I'm not the sniveling little puppy dog you maybe think I am, I'm just not as outward and "external" with my confidence as these "alpha males" are. I don't "put women on pedestals"; actually, one of the big reasons I was so crazy about this girl is because I really saw her as my "equal".

[Empty Road]

How we perceive ourselves may differ from how others perceive us.

[Indestructible]

How we perceive ourselves may differ from how others perceive us.

Okay, and? The whole "quiet confidence" is what I'm trying to project. How am I supposed to know how people "perceive" me?