Rattled!!! Do I have the right to be?

[michelle23]

Y are u making a big deal out of this? You moved back to try and fix things and your already fighting over nothing. Just give him the reciept and be done with it. Its not a big deal. I got a reciept for my deposit on our house. We both signed it. If you want this relationship to work, then you gotta let the past in the past, let go of your resentment and give him the chance to prove he can man up without reminding him of all his failures

also stop mothering him. Just STOP. Let him pay you monthly, let him get his own ass outa bed in the morn, let him take responsibility for HIS study,exams, pay etc and if nothing improves in the next few months WALK AWAY

I think you have taken on the responsible role and put yourself in charge and in control of finances. Y dont you change that? Go to your landlord and set up two separate accounts for rent. Let him sink or swim as WU said. Set up a houseshare agreement or something where your only responsible for you and top worrying. Let him buget himself-he may learn better responsibility that way

[lalalita]

I'm not sure why you get so defensive when opinions are given that aren't to your liking.

[TablesandChairs]

Op - okay, so he asked for a receipt, effectively treating you like a house-mate. That's fine but from now on, at least when it comes to money matters, you should also treat him like a house-mate. If you have to foot the bill for his share of something again - be that groceries, rent, activities - whatever - make sure you ask for a receipt too and a signed statement of when he plans to repay you.

I'm not sure how things will pan out for you guys in the future but I think you need to stop paying for him - if he loses his job, his problem. If he can't afford something, too bad. He needs to learn how to survive and whilst he's lucky he can rely on you and student loans, that's not always going to be the case.

[IndiReloaded]

Just give him the receipt. LOL.

[Exeter19]

he may be still holding the minor day or so break against you, he feels you aren't as into him if you wanted to possibly break so like others said he is protecting his assets, what little he has buy asking you for that receipt. bet he never would have before you asked for that break. think his parents advised him?

[LifeInflux]

Situation is pretty messed up honestly. I would tell him to keep the money and just pay his share monthly instead of needing to give a receipt.

The situation of having "your" money and "his" money for shared expenses is okay when you are first getting together, but in a real, trusting, valued relationship - cohabitation usually calls for "yours" and "mine" to be "ours" in most cases.

The receipt is there because theres a lack of trust, and a lack of trust in situations like this don't make for a good relationship. Theres a long road to get back to where you "were" but the truth of the matter is, its going to be hard pressed for things to be the same.

Have him show responsibility by paying his bills monthly and not giving you a lump sum and expecting you to handle everything. If you want him to learn responsibility, have him keep the money and let it burn a hole in his pocket. If he can hold on to it and pay rent like a man, then great, if he starts spending the money, then thats a problem you'll have to deal with then.

[horndog]

I don't have a problem with him asking for a receipt. He probably just wants to make sure if you bolt tomorrow that he will get his money back. The issue I have is (even though I live in a different country) are low life scum who suck off the public teet and work under the table while the people working for living are supporting their asses. If you don't see a problem with that then you are just like him. Just my opinion, but the guy has failed classes and lost jobs and is likely to be a leach on society for his entire life. Now armed with this information I would suggest you dump him and find a more productive partner.

[Wakeup]

Have him show responsibility by paying his bills monthly and not giving you a lump sum and expecting you to handle everything.

Yes, stop micro-managing him. I said that before. This goes back to you treating him like your son while expecting him to step up to the plate while not giving him the opportunity to do so.

[anonymous_a]

He has every right to ask for a receipt, but what I don't understand is why he doesn't just pay you monthly, as the rent is due???

He's not afraid you'll mismanage the money, he's afraid that your mood changes like the weather and you'll try to move out or throw him out and keep the money. I'm fairly certain that if something happened, you would keep the money, since you seem to feel it is owed to you. Stop being such a cunt about it.

Actually my mood doesn't change that often. We've been together a year and a half and up until now things have been fine. We had one break that lasted a couple days. I also would NOT keep the money even if we were to break up. I don't feel as though anything is owed to me. It was my decision to support him and I stand by that decision. I'm not a hearltess bitch, despite what you may think.

[anonymous_a]

And like I said, I wouldn't normally have a problem with this if we were actually in a normal situation, but we're not. He is the irresponsible one, not me. That was the whole point of me leaving him, was because I was resenting him due to supporting him. Obviously, as said, it was my choice, and I stand by it, which is why I am working on letting go of resentment. Anyways, the receipt thing was brought up when we were both drinking, and I refused to talk about it until we were both sober, we didn't even fight about it. The next day he told me he doesn't care and he doesn't need one (talk about moods changing like the weather).

Plus, I have decided that I will not accept his money. I'm going to tell him this afternoon that he can pay me his share monthly, and if he can't handle that responsibility, then I guess that will be a whole new issue.

[Exeter19]

can't you date and live apart, do you have to live together? you'd be better off living with 1 or 2 female friends and him with other male friends. i think the living arrangements is hurting your relationship because he can't pay his way. make it someone elses problem, not yours.

[anonymous_a]

can't you date and live apart, do you have to live together? you'd be better off living with 1 or 2 female friends and him with other male friends. i think the living arrangements is hurting your relationship because he can't pay his way. make it someone elses problem, not yours.

I've thought of this. Not sure how I feel about it, or how I would even go about bringing it up without sounding like I want to break up with him :S

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't think you're a heartless bitch, just an obnoxious cunt. You seem like a very nice person, just dense and irrational.

Your mood does change like the weather. You want your boyfriend, but you want blue eyes. You want a two week break, you want to move back in. You want your boyfriend to be responsible, you want to act like his mommy.

[anonymous_a]

I don't think you're a heartless bitch, just an obnoxious cunt. You seem like a very nice person, just dense and irrational.

Your mood does change like the weather. You want your boyfriend, but you want blue eyes. You want a two week break, you want to move back in. You want your boyfriend to be responsible, you want to act like his mommy.

Lol are you seriously bringing up blue eyes right now? That hasn't been an issue for months. Irrelevant. Not to mention most of the "examples" you are giving, are things that YOU GUYS are aware of, not him. I never gave him a time frame. I said a few days, and that's what it ended up being. I also don't want to be his mother, I've told him numerous times that I'm over acting like the only adult. He is trying to make an effort, but I can really only see for sure when school starts and he gets his money. It's really just a waiting game at this point, and in the mean time, things are going pretty well. We've been getting along great, and things have been good.

[michelle23]

It may be a good idea to consider it again anon. Me and my bf didnt move in together until we had been a couple for 3 years and we were both working full time. Everything flows so much more smoothly when you don't have to worry about money. One less thing to argue about at least. Lately I have been struggling a little as bills etc are going up, wages going down each year with this stupid government budget and taxes so we agreed to combine both our wages, pay the bills, rent, food etc, save a bit and then split what is left between us as he earns more than me. This way I wont be worried about money and theres no more stress (for now anyway)

Anyway my point is: If you and he cant live comfortably together-then its better not to live together yet until you can