Thank you very much, I greatly appreciate it.What you have to realize, mate, is that you are going through a grieving process every bit as valid as the hurt your ex is feeling and it will take time to pick up the threads of a new life with the absence of the qualities you valued. You cared for this girl in a real way or you would not have stayed as long as you did. And she was your friend as well as a mainstay of your everyday existence. In choosing to let her go instead of using her for a comfort zone, you have ultimately taken a brave step for your own life develpoment, plus done the hard yards for her. She may not see it that way at this point, but few relationships break up without warning. the odds are she felt the absence of spark in your relationship and was just settling for it, too. Mediocrity is not enough to build a life on. Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't undersetimate the power of nostalgia for comfort zone friendship that may draw on you to return to her if life doesn't deliver on cue. It would not work a second time, either. You thought long and hard before you ended it. It was the right decision, as much for her as yourself. Find a personal challenge (work, trip, sport) to tide you over the greiving period. A good tip to finding the person you seek is to be the person you want to be, If you are not, then work on it! I wish you well, The Gypsy.