Why Are 'Bad Boys' So Appealing?

[basilandthyme]

Some women get bored of guys who aren't capable of ever saying no to her or standing up to her, etc. Bad boys are a pleasant relief from said boredom.

I think this works for both sexes - but it's not about being a 'bad guy/girl'. I think it's just about not being a doormat. I know that hubby and his mates have all dumped girls in the past who never said 'no'. And likewise, I like a guy who will stand up to me if I expect too much. Standing up for yourself or placing boundaries doesn't make a person 'bad'

And a guy who is great in bed - and a bit kinky - is awesome. And the total opposite: I remember a guy who used to get straight out of bed and wash himself. Epic fail.

[dickriculous]

I think this works for both sexes - but it's not about being a 'bad guy/girl'. I think it's just about not being a doormat. I know that hubby and his mates have all dumped girls in the past who never said 'no'. And likewise, I like a guy who will stand up to me if I expect too much. Standing up for yourself or placing boundaries doesn't make a person 'bad'

And a guy who is great in bed - and a bit kinky - is awesome. And the total opposite: I remember a guy who used to get straight out of bed and wash himself. Epic fail.

Agreed on both counts. See #3 and I go into this a bit.

Moreover, I'm talking more about the perception of the women who are magnetized to bad boys than I am the actual definitions and whatnot. Women who are attracted to bad boys might see less likelihood of them being doormats, for example.

[basilandthyme]

Perhaps said women confuse doormats with good guys?

[pcmaster]

Because bad boys don't come easy when good guys are acting too available. Like someone already said its a challenge that is exciting.

[dickriculous]

Perhaps said women confuse doormats with good guys?

You mean where a guy acts like a doormat and is called a good guy? This does happen a lot. In fact, where I live our entire social structure makes that mistake all the time.

Because bad boys don't come easy when good guys are acting too available. Like someone already said its a challenge that is exciting.

There's definitely some truth to this. Bad boys seem to inadvertently play a male version of "hard to get" compared to a white knight by simply not falling all over himself for a woman's affection the way a white knight does. But a lot of good guys are unavailable via being "taken" so to speak - every guy I know, myself included, says the same thing - the largest number of available women who express interest in us that we ever meet bar none is when we have girlfriends. Excessive availability seems like a pretty definitive turnoff.

[pcmaster]

Its not like having a girlfriend is atractive, but just when you have have a girlfriend you take more care about your looks and women like cleaned up guys when being single ussualy leads to "I dont give a shit" look.

Also if you look crappy it might be atractive too for thouse girls with insecurities who dont feel like they have what it takes to attract pretty guy. Girls like to feel confident and comfortable so for these girls even below average looking guy with confidence in himself will be bigger turnon than too good looking guy who intimidates others just by his looks alone. Same thing with guys.

[dickriculous]

Its not like having a girlfriend is atractive, but just when you have have a girlfriend you take more care about your looks and women like cleaned up guys when being single ussualy leads to "I dont give a shit" look.

I notice more the opposite than anything. Too many people once they get to a certain level of commitment think they've gotten everything they want out of life by finding their other half or whatever and thus they start getting complacent and letting their minds, bodies, and souls all go to shit. It's one of the double-edged swords of over-emphasizing marriage/commitment as some kind of holy grail of happiness and a substitute for accomplishment.

Meanwhile the single peeps are trying harder to look their best in order to attract their mate.

The whole "more attractive due to having a girlfriend" thing is definitely an availability issue, and maybe a bit of a competitive streak mixed in. As well as a desire for that which is considered forbidden, as mentioned in my first post itt.

[pcmaster]

Girls tend to go for guys that other women are chosen by instict. They dont know why but they do. Obyously if you have GF that means you are not complete loser so that means at least something is right with about you enought to have a GF. Its like ID proof, like check that you are valid. Also social proof.

And yes being too long in relationship to a point it becomes boring is not good for looks as well as being single for too long. You shouldnt abuse both of these social states.

[michelle23]

There is a difference between being nice and being too nice. Some men get confused about this. You know the ones who say things like "why do I always end up in the friend zone and then she ditches me for an ass"?

Well the said "ass" is not really an ass-hes just not a doormat and expects to be treated with respect.

My bfs best friend has been dumped time and time again coz hes too nice women have no respect for him coz he gives and gives and gives while she takes and takes and takes and he puts up with a lot of crap and allows her to get away with anything so hes not appealing. Nobody wants somebody who never says no or who allows her to treat him like dirt.

Most women want a man who sees her as his equal and doesnt have double standards. It works both ways. You should expect to be treated just as good as you treat your partner and if your not-you walk away.

We set our own standards and expectations, limits and boundaries but some people change their mind once the said line has been crossed which does make them a doormat

[basilandthyme]

You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Michelle again

[YoungCosmo]

...well, if they want to be treated in that fashion then every guy should pretty much act in a platonic fashion..I mean, dating is pretty much a power struggle and the male asserting his biological superiority over the girl..

[basilandthyme]

wtf? YC, if that's your view of dating, then no surprise you fail.

[FlaCooln]

In my experience younger women/girls like the "bad boy." As they mature they want someone who is there for them emotionally and physically.

Hence, in high school I remained a virigin. I was too nice for the girls then. As I got older I grew to have a lot of confidence, but I NEVER treated women poorly. Then, college came and I had no problem getting women.

Early on nice/good guys don't get the girl, but later on they do.

[fearoflove]

In my experience younger women/girls like the "bad boy." As they mature they want someone who is there for them emotionally and physically.

Hence, in high school I remained a virigin. I was too nice for the girls then. As I got older I grew to have a lot of confidence, but I NEVER treated women poorly. Then, college came and I had no problem getting women.

Early on nice/good guys don't get the girl, but later on they do.

Ya, chicks got smarter.

[YoungCosmo]

Pfft. Yeah, they have to think "smarter" after the bad guys knocked 'em up and they squirted out 3-4 puppies in college..Somebody has to pay for those kids.