Dating after his divorce . . .

[sfalexi]

That's what I like about this board. No 'friends'. I don't know you, I don't know him. I only know what you tell me of the situation. And, like I said, this situation seems wrong. I'd talk to him about it and figure out the "Why" of him sleeping in the same bed. And then I'd talk about 'solutions' to it, and in the meantime be damned careful.

Alexi

[BillyGalbreath]

you know what I just thought of ? He goes over to babysit the kid(s) for his ex... right ? Well, why does he still stay there when she comes back home to her kids ?

A little odd to me...

[dragoon]

yeah, in a way you get blunt to the point advice. So its more honest. But, we have less take on the situation, so our advice may not be accurate...

[sfalexi]

Billy, I pointed that out.

Alexi

[BillyGalbreath]

oh - I am slow - lol - not really, I just dont read all 100% of each and every post so sometimes I will miss something here and there. What was the response to that ? I must still be half asleep because I cant find it...

[BillyGalbreath]

yeah - I still dont see it... I just read all the posts like 3 times too... I saw where you mentioned it - but no response from anyone about it...

[sfalexi]

I figured you probably just skimmed over it Bill. I do that a lot. Yeah. There haven't been any responses really. Well, at least I've said my peace. And if the person who started it comes back, maybe they'll have a few more things to think about.

Alexi

[jslaughter]

you know what I just thought of ? He goes over to babysit the kid(s) for his ex... right ? Well, why does he still stay there when she comes back home to her kids ?

A little odd to me...

Sorry - in the midst of the great Sodomy Debate of 2004 I missed that you had asked me a question!

His work schedule is 6am-3pm, he gets up for work around 4:45am. She works as a waitress/bartender so she gets home late. (Somewhere between 11pm-3am depending on what night, how busy, etc.) According to him they pass "like ships in the night." His son prefers to stay there as she has a pool and he has playmates in his neighborhood that are his age. (There are no other kids near Dad's house.)

It doesn't happen ALL the time but it happens several times a month and I suppose it has more recently come to a head because he will be staying there through this whole three day weekend. (this is a big bar weekend for the ex out at the beach and he is working this weekend as well.)

OK, let the raining down of wisdom begin . . .

Julie

[sfalexi]

Hmm. That's a toughie. That actually makes somewhat sense (with the work schedules.) However I still don't see why it has to be in the same bed. Especially with the kid being asleep the entire time, he could fall asleep with the kid on the couch and then when he gets up put the kid in the bed with the mother. I'm sure that he needs an alarm anyway and it wakes up the kid anyway. Plus, now the mother doesn't have to wake up and it'd actually be BETTER for her not to get broken sleep.

And maybe once in a while the mother (who should probably be making decent money as a bartendar at the shore) could hire a REGULAR babysitter. I understand that him being the father maybe she doesn't want to make the money, but why don't you just claim that you want to be able to see him for a weekend or so (and not only from 4 to 10). Say that once in a while you'd like to go to a bar with him and stay out late. Tell him your mother said that you can have a later curfew and don't have to be home by 11 this weekend.

Alexi

[jslaughter]

Tell him your mother said that you can have a later curfew and don't have to be home by 11 this weekend.

Alexi

That is AWESOME!!!!

Sometimes I just can't imagine how this dating stuff got so out of hand. I guess as you get older you encounter more players on the field, and suddenly you aren't just dealing with - "Where are things going between us?" - you are dealing with Children and Ex-Wives and all sorts of craziness!

Thanks again Alexi, that's one for the books!

Julie

[BillyGalbreath]

i dont get it - i am trying really hard to - so i am laughing - but at myself for not getting the joke...

[sfalexi]

You know what a curfew is bill? It's when a parent (usually of a young person) tells them, "Go ahead and go out. But you better be home by [insert time here]" From the posts and the situatiuon I'm assuming that Julie is probably in late twenties or early thirties, probably has her own place somewhere, and so having a curfew at her age/living situation would be pretty much ridiculous (all speculation based on how she types and what her situation is. But that's a REALLY bad thing to go on . . .) So it's a cute, funny way of pointing out that she wants to hang out later than ten. (I tend to take the funny way out of stuff)

Alexi

[jslaughter]

From the posts and the situatiuon I'm assuming that Julie is probably in late twenties or early thirties, probably has her own place somewhere, and so having a curfew at her age/living situation would be pretty much ridiculous (all speculation based on how she types and what her situation is. But that's a REALLY bad thing to go on . . .)

Alexi

Good call - I am 29, have my own place with three handsome men always waiting for me at home - my dogs! So needless to say there's no curfew but I suspect that I may use Alexi's words verbatim!

-J

[BillyGalbreath]

thats what I was thinking - but then I starting thinking... "how old is the kid ? are they talking about the kid ?" lol - then next thing i knew i had a brain fart and i got really lost...

[sfalexi]

five years old (at least I thought she said five years old earlier in the thread . . .)