Female insecurities

[IndiReloaded]

Haha - are you sure this is what you meant to say, indi?

Sorry Vash. I was imprecise (and trying to be a *little* polite)

Bubble: I meant explicitly that you should ignore everything that GS has posted, as Vash told you to. He simply doesn't know what he is talking about & he's a compulsive know-it-all who is attention seeking (we get all kinds here). In contrast, Vash does know what she's about & will give you solid advice, please listen to her.

Good luck.

[GrkScorp]

Sorry Vash. I was imprecise (and trying to be a *little* polite)

Bubble: I meant explicitly that you should ignore everything that GS has posted, as Vash told you to. He simply doesn't know what he is talking about & he's a compulsive know-it-all who is attention seeking (we get all kinds here). In contrast, Vash does know what she's about & will give you solid advice, please listen to her.

Good luck.

I'm not going to throw back that "know-it-all complex" comment, but Indi.. I think we're beyond that now..

So what you're saying is, that what I was suggesting is somehow different from what Vash was suggesting.. for the OP to not think about her orgasms..

Explain, what exactly is "wrong" with what was suggested..

I simply found it ironic that Vash raised the point.. lol.. and she mentioned ignoring the orgasm, the idea of it, the thought of it.. and focus on something else, or just nothing.. Well.. what do you know.. lol.. re-read my post.. lol.. the similarity is quite shocking..

I wasn't telling the woman what to do in terms of exposing her clitoris, or on how to relax her muscles.. I'm not a woman, thank you both for pointing that out.. you're very perceptive to the little blue symbol.. and I don't have a vagina.. but I do have RE.. and I do know what it's like to go through sex.. day after day.. not knowing how long it will take you to orgasm.. not knowing IF you'll even reach orgasm.. but you want to reach it.. and ideally, as fast as possible.. and how the more you think about it.. the less likely it is that you reach it..

When you know what that's like.. naturally, you try and fix it.. you go see some specialist.. you read up on it.. you go on some forum and ask questions.. you do whatever you have to.. to fix it.. until if finally hits you..., that the issue is to a large degree, in your head.. not to imply that it's imaginary or not real.. it's very real.. you're very aware of how real it is.. and that's exactly the problem.. your focus on it.. your conscious focus on it.. and the little post I made eariler helped with just that.. shifting that focus out of the way.. and replacing it with something else.. something totally unrelated to focus on.. not worrying about how long or "if".. just enjoying the pleasure.. knowing that your body is in that enjoying-pleasure mode.. and knowing when it's happening.. feeling when it's building up.. and when it's ready to unwind..

[vashti]

I simply found it ironic that Vash raised the point.. lol.. and she mentioned ignoring the orgasm, the idea of it, the thought of it.. and focus on something else, or just nothing.. ..

That wasn't exactly what I said.

[IndiReloaded]

Grk, I'm not going to derail the OPs thread to psychoanalzye you. You should be getting a sense by now that I am not the only one who thinks you may have a problem.

FWIW, I think there are several ppl here who would be genuinely happy to help you. If you seriously want to understand what is happening, I would suggest you start a thread asking specifically for help. You say you are interested in growth, so grow. Or carry on pretending you are enlightened & just suck it up when you get called for posting crap, the internet is pretty self-regulating that way. Up to you.

[vashti]

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

Believing that you're better than others
Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
Exaggerating your achievements or talents
Expecting constant praise and admiration
Believing that you're special
Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
Taking advantage of others
Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
Being jealous of others
Believing that others are jealous of you
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Setting unrealistic goals
Being easily hurt and rejected
Having a fragile self-esteem
Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Believing that you are more entitled to your employer's money than they are

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may also seek out others you think have the same special talents, power and qualities — people you see as equals. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this grandiosity often lies a very fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.

[vashti]

OK, so I added the last symptom myself.

[Mish]

I don't think Scorp has NPD

He's too polite and understanding for that. I've been around real NPD cases, trust me he's very far away from them.

[GrkScorp]

You've just stooped to a new low.. and one that doesn't suit you

Just so you know, both of you.. that was a genuine apology.. take some time to think about that.. how you just both responded to a genuine apology..

Vash is excused.. because I know she's just getting your back Indi.. and up until now.. you were excused.. because I seriously thought from your recent posts that someone made you feel like they didn't take you seriously.. and besides me telling you quite explicitly that I do.. despite a genuine apology.. and despite me choosing to not bring up your failure to answer "why do you think you make me feel insecure exactly?" and other such claims of yours.. I said to myself.. "let it go, it's not Indi".. you continue to go at it.. on.. and on.. and on.. and on..

And I don't know if you've noticed yet.. how it looks like from a third person's point of view.. to make such an effort to try and insult someone who's trying to be civil.. but I know it's not you.. and I can only hope you'll realize that too..

[vashti]

I don't think Scorp has NPD

He's too polite and understanding for that. I've been around real NPD cases, trust me he's very far away from them.

You sure about that?

BTW - I've been working on a psychiatric ward.



Anyway, you need not meet every single symptom to be diagnosed. You only need 5. But I'm just playing.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't think Scorp has NPD. I've been around real NPD cases, trust me he's very far away from them.

I agree, its not that extreme. But in a way, it will be more problematic b/c NPD *really* don't care what ppl think. There's some protection in that mindset, sick as it is. The problem here is that there's a risk of alienating ppl that will make the behaviour worse.

Mish, you are wise. Point is made so I will leave be.

[miSSleepy]

You've just stooped to a new low.. and one that doesn't suit you

Just so you know, both of you.. that was a genuine apology.. take some time to think about that.. how you just both responded to a genuine apology..

Vash is excused.. because I know she's just getting your back Indi.. and up until now.. you were excused.. because I seriously thought from your recent posts that someone made you feel like they didn't take you seriously.. and besides me telling you quite explicitly that I do.. despite a genuine apology.. and despite me choosing to not bring up your failure to answer "why do you think you make me feel insecure exactly?" and other such claims of yours.. I said to myself.. "let it go, it's not Indi".. you continue to go at it.. on.. and on.. and on.. and on..

And I don't know if you've noticed yet.. how it looks like from a third person's point of view.. to make such an effort to try and insult someone who's trying to be civil.. but I know it's not you.. and I can only hope you'll realize that too..

What is it, exactly, that makes you think people need to (or should) be excused by you? And which part of this very patronising post is supposed to make your 'apology' seem genuine?

[Lovebubble]

Hey guys,
Thanks for all your comments. I do think too much...I know that - and yes, that does not help women get there. I've taken your advice Vash - and it's all good so far. Girls and guys are different...but thanks for your opinion GS - I think there is some useful stuff in there too. I need to put the past behind me and stop taking it out on him. So that's my goal!