Final Steps in Moving On

[lovesjoyajm]

Vain, one thing you need to remember is not to be too hard on yourself!! I think you're having these anxiety attacks because you see her, think "I'm over her", then realize you're not over her and get really angry at yourself for being weak or something like that. That was the hardest thing for me getting over this guy recently - I would think I was doing really well and suddenly I'd have this terrible day and think I'd taken 10 steps backwards. Having a bad day or a missing-her episode is ok, and it doesn't mean you're not making progress!

Also, this might seem kind of dumb, but I found it really helpful to sort of psychologically shift my reaction when I accidentally thought about him. So - when she suddenly pops into your mind, don't freak out or get angry at yourself, don't get frustrated. Just gently put those memories back in that chamber of your mind reserved for her, and gently lock it back up. Eventually you'll be able to think about her again without hurting and missing her, and then you can let those memories go. But right now you miss her and you don't want to give up your good times together - don't think that you have to completely forget her. At least not yet.

[Vain]

What have you done since you broke with her, be specific. Have you gone out with friends regularly? Avoided potential places of contact with her? DATED anyone else since her?

Gone out with friends regularly. Avoided all potential places of contact. Working on the last one, a friend of a friend may like me and she is kinda cute so we will see where it goes. Just getting to know her.

I woke up the other day and realized how stupid this all is. A mutual friend told me she is back with her ex Kyle. I was taken back by this when I found out but I realized I don't care. I can't afford to care. It was bringing me down way to much. I'm sure I am not entirely over her, but I feel a lot more confident then I had before.

[Cbrider]

Gone out with friends regularly. Avoided all potential places of contact. Working on the last one, a friend of a friend may like me and she is kinda cute so we will see where it goes. Just getting to know her.

I woke up the other day and realized how stupid this all is. A mutual friend told me she is back with her ex Kyle. I was taken back by this when I found out but I realized I don't care. I can't afford to care. It was bringing me down way to much. I'm sure I am not entirely over her, but I feel a lot more confident then I had before.

Take it one step at a time, its a painful but necessary process. The fact that she got back with her ex seals your story. It may hurt or make you angry at this point, but it closes a chapter of your life that you can just write off as an unpleasant learning experience. In the end, her doing that will actually make it easier to forget about her, sounds funny but trust me on that one.

Remember one thing about dating that I kind of over looked. Dating is casual, it doesn't mean anything really and doesn't have to turn into a relationship. Get out there and kind of play the field in a non whore way. You need to figure out what you like and don't like in a potential partner. Don't be shy, girls love a guy who is assertive and confident. Its easier after being emotionally beaten down, you forget insecurities and just put yourself out there.

You've conquered the hardest stage, now its just a matter of getting back in your groove!

[Vain]

Well her getting back with her ex isn't necessarily true. Just one of those heard through the grapevine tales. Regardless, it doesn't anger me in the least which I guess is just a sign of being over her more or less. I suppose the anxiety is more stemming from the pain she put me through. So it may take longer then that to vanish entirely. I'm confident but definitely could be more assertive haha. Thanks for your advice one again.