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Thread: When Should A Couple Have Sex First?????????

  1. #16
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    I've heard the whole "I want to wait until marriage" bs before and it goes right out the window as soon as I take my shirt off and flex these rock hard panty wetting pecs. If that doesn't work (it always works btw) there is always the "God doesn't count it as losing your virginity if you take it up the butt" card.
    They see indoctrination and they call it "morality", "professionalism", or "maturity" depending on the context.

  2. #17
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    When they begin imagining how beautiful sex would be with one another. This is the easiest of all questions to answer.

    There's far too much pointless hype in the world nowadays... people worrying about what their parents might think if they were to find out, whether or not they should wait until marriage.

    Honestly, if two people love each other and want to experience the most amazing gift love has to offer, why think it through for a second? We're all here to love, to feel. Making love to the man or woman that you love, or are super attracted to, is probably the best feeling in the world on at least 10 different levels. We're here to love and to feel.

    So, put simply, two people should make love to each other when those thoughts begin to cross their minds. Enough said.
    Last edited by Yanky; 19-05-14 at 09:52 AM.

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by fumble View Post
    Having sex wasnt what caused the end of the relationship but i am a believer of the sanctity of sex and therefore regret that i have slept with these men who are no longer a part of my life, i was raised in a one life one man way and i wanted to stick with it. I slept with these men for the wrong reasons and thats why i regret it. (And because of personal abuse i feel differently about sex than most people) Im sure that witholding sex isnt a way of gaining anything in the relationship just with the history i have had and the upbringing combined, sleeping with someone is very complicated. What is to gain is that is feeling comfortable in a relationship, some people want to have sex straight away and thats fine for them, while others dont. Not sleeping with someone is no game to try and get a happy ending but sleeping with someone because its the 'done thing' thesedays definately wont put me in a situation where i feel comfortable.

    Also i didnt test drive my car before i brought it
    So if you saved yourself for your husband, he cheated on you, you get a divorce, you still going to bang your head against the wall regretting you had sex with him??? sounds stupid?....it is. Living with regret is unhealthy. "accept the things I cannot change; courage to
    change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Yanky View Post
    When they begin imagining how beautiful sex would be with one another.

    There's far too much pointless hype in the world nowadays... people worrying about what their parents might think if they were to find out, whether or not they should wait until marriage.

    Honestly, if two people love each other and want to experience the most amazing gift love has to offer, why think it through for a second? We're all here to love, to feel. Making love to the man or woman that you love, or are super attracted to, is probably the best feeling in the world on at least 10 different levels. We're here to love and to feel.

    So, put simply, two people should make love to each other when those thoughts begin to cross their minds. Enough said.
    I had amazing experiences without those feelings.....you can have it both ways my dear, it depends on how open minded you are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dickriculous View Post
    I've heard the whole "I want to wait until marriage" bs before and it goes right out the window as soon as I take my shirt off and flex these rock hard panty wetting pecs. If that doesn't work (it always works btw) there is always the "God doesn't count it as losing your virginity if you take it up the butt" card.
    This is some funny shit....butt it's the truth lol

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    I agree with smackie. NEVER regret anything that once made you happy.

  5. #20
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    Of course. They were happy enough to have sex with the person they were with. So why regret they had sex when the relationship fell apart? They act like they were ripped off, bamboozled or fooled into it. Shit happens because life happens.....it's just life.

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yanky View Post
    When they begin imagining how beautiful sex would be with one another. This is the easiest of all questions to answer.

    There's far too much pointless hype in the world nowadays... people worrying about what their parents might think if they were to find out, whether or not they should wait until marriage.

    Honestly, if two people love each other and want to experience the most amazing gift love has to offer, why think it through for a second? We're all here to love, to feel. Making love to the man or woman that you love, or are super attracted to, is probably the best feeling in the world on at least 10 different levels. We're here to love and to feel.

    So, put simply, two people should make love to each other when those thoughts begin to cross their minds. Enough said.
    This.

    If two people are in love, then nothing should stop them from having sex. Sorry if I offend anyone, but it's the most natural way of expressing love. If you consider waiting for reasons beyond what you're feeling, it will only cause friction. Listen to your body and your natural instincts.

    Sex is beautiful and totally natural. We live in the year 2014, things are different. We have iPads and internet, fantastic right? Yet we drive cars that are damaging the enviroment, but very few condemn a loved one for driving a car. It's the norm, yes? We're not living in the 18th century anymore. The majority of us don't need to worry about arranged marriages.

    Live in the now. Love hard, make the most of your freedom, and listen to you.

  7. #22
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    Very nicely put, Jasmine. Agreed.

    Your life, your happiness. You have to make yourself happy BEFORE you can make others happy. And those who are happy for you to be unhappy, so long as it makes them happy, don't deserve to be happy. Why? Because they're more interested in controlling you and laying ridiculous expectations down instead of caring about your happiness. Plus, if they require you to make them happy, they're not truly happy because, as I said, everybody has to make THEMSELVES happy, first and foremost. Do what feels right for you ->>> You'll be more like "YOU" than you were before you began taking control of your own happiness.
    Last edited by Yanky; 19-05-14 at 10:54 AM.

  8. #23
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    I still think, in most situations waiting 90 days before having sex is better then having sex too soon.

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    I've been intimate with the woman of my dreams for two weeks now, have been dating for 3 weeks, but have been best friends our entire lives. I've gotta say it, these past two weeks have been the most magical 2 weeks of my life. I get to share something beautiful and deep with her, and my heart pounds whenever I think about it. I've never really been able to get her off my mind, but now it's impossible. Our connection runs so much deeper now. I guess my answer to the OP is, and pretty much what everybody else has been saying, lol: when it just feels right.

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by snckrs View Post
    I still think, in most situations waiting 90 days before having sex is better then having sex too soon.
    So if you know the answer, why did you ask for opinions?
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snckrs View Post
    I still think, in most situations waiting 90 days before having sex is better then having sex too soon.
    You're welcome to your opinion. Just to be curious, what's so very special about and this 90 days? And why 'most situations'?

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by basilandthyme View Post
    So if you know the answer, why did you ask for opinions?
    To get everyone elses opinion

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boisdevie View Post
    You're welcome to your opinion. Just to be curious, what's so very special about and this 90 days? And why 'most situations'?
    I think 90 days allows you to get the know the person. Instead of just jumping into sex, get to know the person.

  13. #28
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    Whenever it feels right *and* your head isn't nudging you saying 'hang on a minnit..'

    Why the emphasis on sex? When should a couple:

    - discuss life goals
    - discuss views on money
    - talk about family
    - compare morals and views on faith

    We are still struggling with sex being a 'taboo' subject. I'm not saying sex isn't important, but I think too many young people put far too much emphasis on it. Consider - how much of your waking hours are spent doing things other than sex and what are those things?

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    I think 90 days allows you to get the know the person. Instead of just jumping into sex, get to know the person.
    I don't know about 3 months (lack of sex itself starts becoming an issue then), but I do agree with this comment in principle.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  14. #29
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    Yeah, indireloaded makes a great point. Sex isn't as important as other things. I've recently learned that the connection that a couple has is what's most important. Foundation. Seriously, if you can laugh together until you're both lying on the ground in stitches, then wow. This is what I have with my best friend who's finally my girlfriend.

    When I was younger, before I went through some failed relationships, I knew that she was the one, but our timing was never right, etc, so I watched her date other guys and I dated other girls, just assuming that I'd get over that feeling. Na ah, lol, it's simple. I know now what I knew all my life, but I've been able to realize this through dating other women: I'll never have with anyone elae what I have with her.

    We had sex for the first time after a week of dating, and waiting that long was difficult enough for us. Mostly because we'd spent so much time together over the past 12 months, so we'd both wanted to hold each other for a long time. We've been in love with each other for ages, but didn't act on it for ridiculous and petty reasons.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Whenever it feels right *and* your head isn't nudging you saying 'hang on a minnit..'

    Why the emphasis on sex? When should a couple:

    - discuss life goals
    - discuss views on money
    - talk about family
    - compare morals and views on faith

    We are still struggling with sex being a 'taboo' subject. I'm not saying sex isn't important, but I think too many young people put far too much emphasis on it. Consider - how much of your waking hours are spent doing things other than sex and what are those things?

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    I don't know about 3 months (lack of sex itself starts becoming an issue then), but I do agree with this comment in principle.
    I do agree with you. You worded it much better then I did. The reason I even brought this up is the number of posts Ive seen on here concerning sex in a relationship. Mostly with women having sex with a guy within a month of dating and then the guy leaves. Why I said three months is for young women to make sure the guy they are with is with them for themselves and not sex. When I think about this, I think what I would tell my daughters (if I had any). That if your going to have sex before marriage, then make sure the guy is commeted to you before you have sex with him. Make sure he wont use you. Thats why I say three months, cause most guys wont wait three months to just have sex and use a woman.

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