I had 2 awesome dates with this girl, but it didn't work out. What went wrong?

[xxazurexx]

I personally wouldn't date a guy I wasn't into, but some females would and do and guys do it too. I only ever would accept an invite and if it was an invite from a guy I was really into and because if it's a guy I'm not into, it sends mixed messages and to date him.

I could be wrong, but isn't that what 'dating' is all about in the States? You date random people and to see if anything clicks and it's not necessarily a guy/girl that you are into that you date?

Maybe she did have a good time, but something just didn't 'click' with her. This happens all the time. I've read a zillion stories like yours in forums, where the guy and girl have dated, everything seemed to be going great, etc, etc....and then the other person didn't call, or said they'd like to leave it as friends.

It's just one of those things that we experience and we move on from it.

Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, just that she didn't think you were right for her and for whatever reason and there could be a thousand reasons. Maybe her ex, or some other guy even came back in the picture.

[Take2]

I would also guess that it was a timing thing. She dated you and she had been on a few dates with another guy, and in the interim when you couldn't see her, he and she got more serious and decided to be exclusive. If the timing had gone the other way, it could have been reversed.

I know that I once chatted with a guy I had dated before, he said he had made a mistake letting me go and wanted to try again and I said OK. He was leaving for an extended vacation for a month, I agreed he should call me when he got back. The next day I met the man I would eventually marry, and by the time a month passed we were already exclusive and I had to tell the old boyfriend sorry, but no go.

And I know that while I wa son OKCupid, I would go on casual dates with several guys while I had no exclusive relationship going on. Such that when I started dating someone, I had some second dates to decline, a couple of guys who wanted to get more serious to turn down, several e-mail conversations that could not develop into dates as they might have and some beginnings of exchanges that were suddenly dead in the water. It was nothing personal, maybe some of those guys would have been awesome boyfriends and we could have lived happily ever after. But I had to choose, and I had a lot more information about the guy I chose due to timing, and wanted to explore that relationship more seriously. It's a hazard of online dating, I suppose.

[smackie9]

Just because the dates may have been awesome in your eyes doesn't mean it was awesome in her's. She gave you a shot, and well she discovered she just not that into you. That's what dating is all about. A trial run, an interview, a test run, to see if it's worth it to pursue a relationship. You win some you lose some. Tip: next time don't ask if you can put your arm around her....that's so wimp ass it ain't funny. It's a deal breaker dude.

[xxazurexx]

J Tip: next time don't ask if you can put your arm around her....that's so wimp ass it ain't funny. It's a deal breaker dude.

That's true. If some guy had said that to me, I'd have thought he was a right wimp, lol. It would have just so put me off from seeing him again.

[LtSurge]

As it turns out, I'm already completely over this girl now since the time I first wrote this, so I really don't care.

However, I disagree about the asking to put my arm around her being a big deal. I said it in such a way that I think it seemed sweet and romantic as opposed to wimpy, but who knows. It sounds like you might think otherwise, but I seriously doubt that was the thing that was make or break. I think it was cute - as opposed to the more typical "let me just yawn here, stretch out my arms and then slyly put my arm around you". I really don't think what I did was a big deal. It would be different if I had asked her "Can I kiss you?" That I agree could be a potential deal breaker - but I doubt it with the arm thing.

What Take2 said is similar to what other girls I know who do online dating have said. Especially with a pretty girl like this, all these girls are dating several guys at any given time, trying to find what works best. I'm sure she had a wonderful time just based on the way our dates went - I mean, I was there, and I know she was having a great time - there's a natural feel for figuring that out.

I think it's one of those things where she's just decided to turn her attention to another guy she has been seeing - I'll just repeat, again, that I think it's way too big of a "coincidence" that she just so happened to remove her online dating account at the same time this was going on. In 99% likelihood, the reason she would close her account is because there is someone she is starting to see now. That's just common sense.

So I think that especially with the fact that I am no where near this girl, if she's really into another guy right now, I was very much eliminate-able - although even without the distance I'm sure the same result was probably likely.

As Take2 put it, these are the hazards of online dating. Online dating definitely has its advantages, but also some disadvantages - among them that any great girl or guy you're likely to be seeing is seeing other people at the same time, and it's something of a competition.

So, indeed, she may have genuinely liked me and had interest - or she may not have. I'll never know the exact extent of her interest. But the bottom line is that there was simply someone else she was more interested in right now, for whatever the reason was (distance, more dates with him, he's just more compatible with her, etc.)

People are certainly welcome to continue responding to this thread, but as I mentioned at the start of this post I'm over it now and I consider it a closed case. Thanks for all the responses and advice.