Vashi I need your help!

[KingZ]

Ok, so I am dating a Jew right now. Other than the fact he won't marry me because I am not a Jew, what facts do I need to know about Jewish guys in the area of dating? Benefits and liabilities? Values and beliefs? He is quite young (25) so some of those traditional values might not apply to him but still he come from a Jewish family.

One thing I notice is that he is quite hesitant in physical contacts. But he does subtly put his hands on my sides sometimes. It makes me worry if he might be gay. I don't know. *shrug

Vash is not a real jew. She converted.

No jew blood, no jew family.

[RobsGirl]

Shit just got real, lol.

[IndiReloaded]

Vash is not a real jew. She converted.

No jew blood, no jew family.

She has lots of experience with them, though. Good and bad. Makes her an expert far as I'm concerned. Gave me good advice re: DJM.

[fearoflove]

Wait...so her ex-husband is a Jew and so she was converted? My beau's parents are divorced too. Is this a prevalent thing in Jewish families?

[fearoflove]

No sign of Vashi yet.

[asdfg789]

maybe because you spelled it wrong

[fearoflove]

You know what I mean. Vashti. There.

[vashti]

Ok, so I am dating a Jew right now. Other than the fact he won't marry me because I am not a Jew, what facts do I need to know about Jewish guys in the area of dating? Benefits and liabilities? Values and beliefs? He is quite young (25) so some of those traditional values might not apply to him but still he come from a Jewish family.

One thing I notice is that he is quite hesitant in physical contacts. But he does subtly put his hands on my sides sometimes. It makes me worry if he might be gay. I don't know. *shrug

I don't think the fact that he isn't all over you is indicative that he is gay. Some guys are simply a bit more conservative/respectful that way (and actually, most of the Jewish young males I know are).

You need to find out how observant he is, and I can tell you more about what to expect, but I can tell you this: if he and his family are pretty connected (either religiously or culturally), you will have a harder time getting "in" with him. The realities of interfaith relationships are difficult unless you both are capable of being extremely tolerant.

* Holidays are hard.
* Sex laws are good. It's not a sin, and there are religious obligations (obviously for the religiously educated) to ensure the woman is satisfied. (Actually, the best sex I've had has been with Jewish men.)
* Jews don't have a need to "save" you because they don't believe you are going to Hell for not being Jewish.
* On the other hand, they REALLY don't appreciate others trying to convert them.
* many want their children to marry other Jews NOT so much because they dislike other religions, but because they want their grandchildren to be Jewish.
* Lots of Jews won't eat pork or shellfish (I don't), and more conservative types won't mix animal flesh with dairy products. This is not only a religious practice, but also a cultural one if he is Israeli.
* Israelis are usually either entirely secular or Orthodox. Americans are usually Reform or Conservative.
* Jews tend to place a LOT of emphasis on education.
* Divorce happens, probably in similar percentages as in mainstream society: more frequent if they are secular, less frequent if connected to religion, but most Jews I know are married and very devoted to family life.
* Jews in general tend to not be big on drinking/drugs, and domestic violence is practically unheard of.
* Even if he is secular, you can bet he is circumcised, and he will want his sons to be as well.


For the record, I *did* convert, but not because of my ex. He was secular, and didn't care what I was. Even though we are divorced now, I still consider myself Jewish, and my kids were raised that way. Mine was a genuine conversion, and I am pretty educated in this area (moreso than the average Jew, actually, since I studied as an adult and out of genuine interest).

I don't really know what info you are looking for, so if I didn't cover it, ask more specific questions.

[vashti]

One more thing: Jewish religion is not really at ALL like Christianity, which is very difficult for most non-Jews to understand. Frankly, you will be unable to fully comprehend what I am saying without benefit of education. There is no dogma, no obligation to believe in Heaven/Hell (not even any agreement as to whether or not they even exist). Christianity is a belief-based religion, and Judaism is law-based, where one is expected to behave well because it is the right thing to do, and not because it will get you to Heaven.

Questioning EVERYTHING is encouraged (as is seeking answers).

It is entirely possible (and common) to be a religiously-observant Jew who is agnostic (and maybe even atheist) without being considered a "bad" Jew.

[Love'sReject]

Wow, I had a lot of admiration for Judaism before but in light of recent readings, I now think it even more commendable.

[fearoflove]

I am sure he is jewish considering that he said so himself and also his last name. But today, we went out for breakfast and he got the BLT. WTF. He may be less Jewish than I thought.

[KingZ]

Mine was a genuine conversion, and I am pretty educated in this area (moreso than the average Jew, actually, since I studied as an adult and out of genuine interest).

Real jews don't think "moreso" is a word.


Also, lol, it takes a moron like Love'sReject to find Judaism "commendable".

[Love'sReject]

Judaism is friggin' awesome, you anti-Semite moron. Where did you get your hip notions on Judaism, from your child-molesting priest? **** Catholicism and **** you, King.

[Wakeup]

I could be wrong but... mad bro?

Isn't King a Muslim?

[Love'sReject]

That'd explain it...stupid suicide bombing idiot. Hey King, don't get pissy at me 'cuz ur dad walked into a mosque and never came out.