Right decision or am i running away?

[Lite]

I am the only one to notice any contradictions here?

Oh good, I'm not insane or imagining things! Whew!

[Aeradalia]

My condolences for the unhappy childhood... but you will have to realize that whatever you endured is now in the past... you can learn from it but do not let it interfere with your life. The desire to reach out and feel that someone cares and can relate to you with such things can be powerful... however such 'bonding' by sharing these memories with another is no guarantee of strengthening a relationship. In future relationships try to delay disclosing such information to see if they like you for you... rather than feeling sympathetic towards you.

In regards to your current situation... imagine being the other woman... I doubt you'd would want to be treated that way by any boyfriend you may have. Also this disrespective behavior he is displaying not only relates to being poor boyfriend material... but as a poor quality person all around. With that said... would you want to associate with someone who is so disrespectful? Whether he be a boyfriend, acquaintence, friend, or otherwise?

I would recommend cutting all ties. Forget about your pride and 'how it will look.' If you are trying to separate yourself from him, then what he thinks no longer matters to you.

Learn from this and move on with your life. It's far too short to worry about what people you really don't care about think.

[carl1222]

One thing I've learned in the brief time I've been here is that Aeradalia's advice is always cautious, not emotionally charged from her own baggage, and almost always spot-on right.

Listen and learn, grasshopper!

Carl.

[Indignant]

no. but thanks for the offer.

wow, mis, she sounds like a total idiot to be that rude to you. talk about not having a sense of humor. now i know why she's being treated like a piece of garbage.

[Indignant]

My condolences for the unhappy childhood... but you will have to realize that whatever you endured is now in the past... you can learn from it but do not let it interfere with your life.

i am so sick and tired of hearing about people's "unhappy childhoods". they don't even know even know how tough it is for others and we still come up on top. it seems to be everyone's excuse nowadays.

[carl1222]

wow, mis, she sounds like a total idiot to be that rude to you. talk about not having a sense of humor. now i know why she's being treated like a piece of garbage.

Even though misombra was right, she knows she was being sarcastic ... so she was fair game, indignant.

Carl.

[IndiReloaded]

Misombra injects the right amount of sarcasm to keep things light, I think.

When Mish & I get going in an argument, I actually love getting the

"this thread is sucking"

comment around Page 4. It always makes ME laugh, anyway...

ppl take themselves too damn seriously.

[Aeradalia]

i am so sick and tired of hearing about people's "unhappy childhoods". they don't even know even know how tough it is for others and we still come up on top. it seems to be everyone's excuse nowadays.

People will be at different ages and stages of their life. Life is difficult to understand and for some it takes years to gain wisdom whereas others seem a little faster. The OP probably hasn't come to terms yet with the demons of her past, and without guidance from someone who's 'been there, done that' it can be even harder to untangle the mess of emotions to see the logic and truth of the bad experience(s).

You are correct, "unhappy childhoods" are not an excuse for failure in life... but they can offer more temporary roadblocks than someone who's experienced a happier and more balanced childhood. Life isn't fair... it merely is, and for those that have suffered trauma in life, they fail to either understand or accept this... initially. Give the OP some time, eventually she will figure out that her unhappy childhood is not an excuse for failure, and though it is an obstacle for her... it can be overcome.

I offer some compassion for those that have been abused, but I offer understanding and guidance more... for that is far more useful in such cases.

[Bo]

so i guess i have more sympathy than other ppl.
i understand why u would do that even if it's NOT right...because it's not. But what annoys me about the ppl on here is that apparently none of them have ever done anything even when they knew it was wrong? ya...not. Anyway but i would say leave his sorr ass and get on with your life and find someone new who deserves u. ...even if it's hard. which it will be.

[Bo]

I don't think Anybody has the right to belittle someone's life experiences. jesus. where the hell are all the mature ppl?

[IndiReloaded]

Maturity is knowing the difference b/t something deadly serious and not.

.Bo, you fail. Try to feel better about yourself some other way.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

You paid attention to him, Indi? He was just looking for a thanks from the OP lol.

[Lost-Girl]

i am so sick and tired of hearing about people's "unhappy childhoods". they don't even know even know how tough it is for others and we still come up on top. it seems to be everyone's excuse nowadays.

I was sexually abused at 6 and 11 years old, i watched my mother being physically beaten over and over again as a 4 year old. My father died when i was 11 months old, so there was no chance of any of this being stopped. My sister left the family to marry a muslim, who physically beat her and sexually abused my best friend infront of me. I was cutting my arms at 13. I think i understand what a rough childhood.

Oh and i don't understand how im 'failing' in life if im training to be a social worker?

[Lite]

I was sexually abused at...

Have you ever gone to counseling/gotten therapy for this?

[Aeradalia]

I was sexually abused at 6 and 11 years old, i watched my mother being physically beaten over and over again as a 4 year old. My father died when i was 11 months old, so there was no chance of any of this being stopped. My sister left the family to marry a muslim, who physically beat her and sexually abused my best friend infront of me. I was cutting my arms at 13. I think i understand what a rough childhood.

Oh and i don't understand how im 'failing' in life if im training to be a social worker?

Sexually and physically abused from the time I was 4 until I was 10 several times a week... saw a family friend try to blow his brains out when I was 6 (he lived, but there was blood everywhere). Had friends and family members die over the years and even had a childhood friend commit suicide back in January on New Years. We can compare experiences and boast about who has the most scars... but when it comes down to it.. other than producing an odd personality these things really don't matter at the present.

There are many ways to fail in life... career-wise and through financial means are not the only ways. You can have a perfect life but not have anyone to love, so in a way, you've failed in life.

You know what you need to do, you know it won't be easy, and so there's no need to hesitate. If you want to be happy in this life, then you need to really think about what matters to you. Do you want to be loved? Do you want that stability you craved when you were younger? Think over all of these things, then think about how you would have to go about acquiring such things.

This guy isn't what you want, and you know it. He's not treating you or the other woman fair... so why are you even hesitating? Why do you care to leave without it being 'misunderstood' by him? Just leave and move on. It's simple... it's logical... and there's less drama in it. It's not a matter of whether or not you deserve happiness in life... all that matters is what do you want out of life and how badly do you want it.

This has absolutely nothing to do with childhood traumas... and as you gain in experience, you will learn that very little of your life will have anything to do with your past.