"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
Yep... I wasn't being realistic with the idea... they're known for causing loss of sexual interest.. (among other things).
Besides, most anything that subdues or disrupts the sex drive would have to have powerful effects upon the body... and very devastating consequences when misused or from the side-effects alone.
"The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth that strength can only be developed by effort and practice, will, thus believing, at once begin to exert itself, and, adding effort to effort, patience to patience, and strength to strength, will never cease to develop, and will at last grow divinely strong."
- James Allen
Sure, it might be medications or a hormone imbalance, and she should get that checked out. But she's been on the same implant since 6 months before you met, and you don't indicate that she started taking any kind of medication (such as antidepressants) while you were together. Plus, she told you (God knows why) that she had a very active sex life with her previous boyfriend.
I hate to say it, but her very infrequent desire for sex (for her age) coupled with her total lack of interest in foreplay tells me that sex with you has become a duty for her rather than an expression of romantic intimacy ... it's like she knows it's something she should do, but she wants to get it over with as quickly as possible.
A possible clue comes from her relationship with her ex ... all chemistry but no compatibility. Perhaps with you, it's the opposite ... all compatibility but no chemistry.
Regardless of the reason, a virtually sexless and completely passionless relationship is doomed, especially at your ages.
Sorry for being so blunt.
Carl.
I dont regret anything. makes life dramaticly more exciting, spontaneous and joyful
Its great advice, tho, Carl. Don't be sorry. Lots of folks post about how they 'lost' their passion for each other at some point in their relationship. I think its actually de facto standard for couples unless they are extremely vigilant and enlightened about such things.
But, I think that if it was there, it can be rediscovered. Ask any old married couple who has passed through this particular experience.
If it never was, tho, then I think its pretty much hopeless. Can't find what was never there to start with.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh