Unbelieveable

[Gigabitch]

I keep imagining him with her and wondering what those other women look like. Why does that bother me so much and why does it hurt so much? He has cheated on me before....you would think I'd be used to this by now and not even care. I don't have to cut him out of my life b/c he has already cut me out of his.

Because it's wrong, that's why. Not only is he treating you like crap, he's a rotten example of a human being as well. He's able to do this because he's poisoned you. You have to do some serious cleansing to get free of his influence, and it's a long, arduous process. It starts by cutting him out of your life. It doesn't matter whether or not he's cut you out of his. You need to make that conscious decision- take charge.

[Soulfire]

Vashti, yes, I'm old (43), but I don't think that hurt has age limits. Do you?

[Soulfire]

Thanks Giga. I understand....just not that easy, but I'm doing it.

[vashti]

Vashti, yes, I'm old (43), but I don't think that hurt has age limits. Do you?

I don't think 43 is old, but yes, it is too old to be sitting around indulging yourself this way. By your age, you should be able to manage your emotions better. If you really feel you must spend time mourning such a loser, I hope you won't need more than a single day. Isolating yourself certainly won't help you in any way to propel yourself forward.

.

[Zach]

Soulfire you just absolutely have to get him out of your life. Do everything in your power to cut him out.

Giga and Vashti both have a great point. But nothing will happen until you make a stand. Respect and Love yourself enough to get out. There are 3 billion other guys out there and Im absolutely sure that there are plenty of better and far more respectable men out there.

He is slime. Slap yourself a few times then get up and walk out. Refuse to be a door mat. Door mats suck. <3

--Zach

[The Great OV!!!]

She won't get rid of him. I know it.

[Soulfire]

OV, I have no choice on getting rid of him. He's gone. He has someone new (actually two). Why do you think I will not get rid of him? He isn't around anymore and whatever little there was left is now mute.

[Zach]

Soulfire, this is your chance to get free and stay free. Whatever you do, DONT BACK SLIDE! Hold firm in your conviction! You know whats right.

[Soulfire]

Yes, Zach. I can do it....I know I can...THANK YOU.

[Ellynn]

Soulfire, this is your chance to get free and stay free. Whatever you do, DONT BACK SLIDE! Hold firm in your conviction! You know whats right.

Ditto to this!! You can do BETTER!

[Soulfire]

OMG, tonight I was a mess. I did some terrible things. I called him and she (the new woman) answered the phone. He never let me answer his phone. Does this mean she means more to him in just thse passed few days than I did in 8 years? Or does it mean that she is controlling? Anyway, I started telling her all the terrible things that he does like lie, cheat, take a woman for granted, cocaine addiction, etc. She said thanks for the information, but that she would get the story from him. She's trapped like I was. He will just lie to her and she will believe it. How long does anybody think it will last with her. Could he have changed for her, but would not change for me? Why did I do that? I feel terrible now, just terrible and I made a total fool of myself. I can't stand this.

[Ellynn]

What you need to do is let it go!!!! Why put yourself thru that! Plus, who cares how he is with his new woman, eventually she will find out. That is her own fault if she doesn't listen to you. The only thing you did wrong in your relationship with him, is put up with it.

So please, do yourself a favor and let it go and move on! He's not worth wasting your breath on, tears, or time.

[The Great OV!!!]

OMG, tonight I was a mess. I did some terrible things. I called him and she (the new woman) answered the phone. He never let me answer his phone. Does this mean she means more to him in just thse passed few days than I did in 8 years? Or does it mean that she is controlling? Anyway, I started telling her all the terrible things that he does like lie, cheat, take a woman for granted, cocaine addiction, etc. She said thanks for the information, but that she would get the story from him. She's trapped like I was. He will just lie to her and she will believe it. How long does anybody think it will last with her. Could he have changed for her, but would not change for me? Why did I do that? I feel terrible now, just terrible and I made a total fool of myself. I can't stand this.

You still call him and think of him. How come you say you were trapped? I think you still have feelings for this man. You are driving yourself mad by thinking about this so much, if you honestly let him go you would just leave him and his love life alone maybe. You definitly should not analyze your relationship and compare it to his new one...it will drive you insane.

[Zach]

Soulfire your backsliding. Catch yourself now and move on. If you don't get your shit together your not going to get free of all this. Cut contact with him and everything that should be cut off. Get rid of all mementos, live your life in a new way. Go out with friends, read some good books. Change your routine around! But before you do anything like this, you have to cut him out of your life and force yourself to stop thinking about him.

Don't call her. Don't call him. You have to force yourself to get out of this hole. I know its hard to stop thinking about, but every single time you think about it.. catch yourself.. STOP then immediately go and do something else to get your mind off things. Its going to be really hard at first but I PROMISE if you keep to it you will get through it and it wil become easier everyday..just by a little bit.. but you will get throught this. But not until you make yourself do it.

--Zach

[vashti]

I think you should rip[ your phone out of the wall to prevent you from doing something like this again.