suffering...

[SONOIL]

No, you are not making me feel any worse that I possibly could, like I have said I take FULL responsibility in what has transpired, and with this response I do not wish anyone to take offense to this but, I do have trouble seeing the world in just black and white, either your are in love with each other or your are not. In my personal experience, the heart does not work that way only the mind clouds that perception, and becomes a coping mechanism for people. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things and they are all right and all wrong. It is all based on your perception and opinion, and of course is all subjective to the perceptions outside the standard first, second, third, etc.

Let's look at it this way... What exactly did you want out of that situation?... You knew you were falling in love... You knew that you had to either tell her or live with it suffering and wondering what she feels towards you you.... Right? It's already Black or White situation as it is... Stop blaiming yourself because you did everything you could from your side... you opened up to her and she denied you... now if you gonna beg her, cry to her or show her you're week... guess what? She's not going to respect you and burn you even more. Girls don't think like we do... they emotional creatures therefore illogical... Because where emotions involved, logic is always going to be in second/third place... Now, you stayed in this "friendship" hoping it's going to somehow transform into relationship... Right? Well you got your answer... So don't show her that you hurt... Ignore her and cut all contacts for a while... and all that thing that girls say "Oh, let's just be friends"... It's all bullshit... Because if you hear that from girls mouth that's all you going to be for her and belive me you will never move up... Am I right sine24??

[Robert Angier]

No no no no no, I do not want a flaming war here on this or any other topic. Everyone sees the world from different perspectives and most people seem to base their opinions based on their experiences. But, it does not make them any more wrong or right and any case.


RA

[Robert Angier]

I will say you are correct, Sonoil, if that is what I originally wanted out of this relationship, but it is not. I never had any expectations of her nor do I ever expect her to develop feelings for me. I know opening up to someone has an infinite amount of risks. I miscalculated my risks. That is all.


RA

[SONOIL]

"It's either he's into you or you have hots for him... People were created of oppsite genders for purpose dear..."


That's a load of rubbish. I'm not surprised that you haven't experienced friendship with girls..you're very close-minded. I'm sure heaps of people in this forum would agree with me that girls and guys can be friends..but a lot of friendships do develop into more intimate relationships. That's because a lot of the qualities we look for in a lover are found in what characterises a friendship. If people of the opposite sex were "created of oppsite genders for a purpose"..then how would you explain a female's friendship with a homosexual male? Yes..i have a male friend that is gay..so therefore he cannot be "into me" and no i do not have "the hots for him". That's just a really immature judgement.We are really good friends, but i am in no way attracted to him.

I'm conservative dear... And against gay, but do you really think that the guy who do you think is very good friend of yours stays there for nothing? If he does then he's a pussy... and I don't think you would wanna be with someone like that would you?... Mystery is what attractive... then comes challenge... but if you blubbing about your girl problems and he's yapping something back just to please you and you can make him do that everytime in a snap like a traind dog, and IF he one day does open up to you... would you be attracted to this person??... Would you??

[Robert Angier]

*Steps back and ponders*

[SONOIL]

I know opening up to someone has an infinite amount of risks. I miscalculated my risks. That is all.


RA

And let me shake your hand for that line... We just humans, and we're not perfect... But I'm more than sure that next time you will do your calculations more accurate... Look at it as a lesson in your life...

[Robert Angier]

*smiles* I see everything as a lesson in life.

[sine24]

Mystery is what attractive... then comes challenge... but if you blubbing about your girl problems and he's yapping something back just to please you and you can make him do that everytime in a snap like a traind dog, and IF he one day does open up to you... would you be attracted to this person??... Would you??

Mystery? Wtf..what mystery? just cos he's gay doesn't mean he's an alien you dimwit. And just because im a girl doesn't mean that all i talk about is my menstrual cycle and breaking my nails. I have to agree with you when you say you're a conservative..cos you are extremely stereotypical. Oh and as for "IF he one day does open up to you... would you be attracted to this person??... Would you??"..he is a good friend of mine..meaning he has already opened up to me about various problems in his life...and surprise surprise..NO i am not attracted to him. You don't always have to be attracted to the opposite sex..that is such a stupid notion..i have to ask..are you in any way sexually attracted to all the females in your life?? i.e your mother, sister, aunties, pfft your grandma?? i sincerely hope not. You can maintain civilised relationships with members of the opposite sex without necessarily having the "hots" for them.

[SONOIL]

Mystery? Wtf..what mystery? just cos he's gay doesn't mean he's an alien you dimwit. And just because im a girl doesn't mean that all i talk about is my menstrual cycle and breaking my nails. I have to agree with you when you say you're a conservative..cos you are extremely stereotypical. Oh and as for "IF he one day does open up to you... would you be attracted to this person??... Would you??"..he is a good friend of mine..meaning he has already opened up to me about various problems in his life...and surprise surprise..NO i am not attracted to him. You don't always have to be attracted to the opposite sex..that is such a stupid notion..i have to ask..are you in any way sexually attracted to all the females in your life?? i.e your mother, sister, aunties, pfft your grandma?? i sincerely hope not. You can maintain civilised relationships with members of the opposite sex without necessarily having the "hots" for them.

may be Iam... hm... may be I am.... especially grandma....

[sine24]

Haha..at least you have a sense of humour. LoL!

[Robert Angier]

Please do not let this become more than it needs to be. Your position(s) on this are clear. There is no winner or loser. I see both side of the proverbial coin, and understand both. There is no right or wrong answer to all this. For some people there are no platonic relationships, and for other there are. Really does there need to be anymore said about it?

[Mish]

thank you for the kindness. I truly appreciate it. I have thought carefully about everyones responses and really I will have to live with what I have done. Thank you again all.

Yes that four letter word. It hurts so bad after it's been said the feelings are not reciprocated. Perhaps in the future you can set up a better timing? I personally find these words come out smoother after a number of passionate and deeply intimate experiences, when the time, mood and the place are right. Have you shared many of these together?

As far as the girl goes, is she completely avoiding you? Do you still see each other somewhere? (Work, uni, neighbors)

[Robert Angier]

To me, I never expect her to fall in love with me, I did not then and I do not now. Now, in our conversations with each other many intimate things have been shared, but that is the kind of really astounding relationship it was. Now this brings me to my next point, this whole situation is infinitely more complicated than I have elaborated earlier. I was keeping it very short as not to elaborate too much into this. What I was really getting at was all I offered was my whole heart to the degree of what people like to think of as unconditional love, but extremely rarely fathom or practice it. I know it has been romanticized over and over in stories and movies, etc. But I truly mean it, and I still do and always will. I would easily accept her happiness even if it means with another person. I know for some people reading this will have their opinions, and as always they are welcome to them. People will believe what they want.



RA

[Robert Angier]

My only goal or interest is her happiness. I want nothing for myself. I just need my friend and now I do not believe that is ever going to be there again, and that absolutely destroys me.

RA

[Gigabitch]

but we had this absolutely amazing relationship, that we fostered each others feelings and to stay completely open so communication would be relatively easy.

Uh-huh. And you ruined this by being.... completely open and telling her the truth.

Look, RA, let it go. Just let it go. It's going to eat you from the inside out like a cancer. You can't fix it, and clutching the dead thing to your breast and moaning "Mea culpa!" ad nauseum isn't doing you any good.