Any black women in this forum?

[MikeL]

I'm black and I've dated all races. My current bf is white.

I find it a turn off when guys approach me because I'm black. I've literally had white guys corner me in a club to tell me how much they love black women/my ass/hair/skin etc. Instead of being flattering it makes me uncomfortable because I feel like they only want to date/sleep with me because of physical reasons, not because of who I am as a person. I usually end up feeling objectified, even if that wasn't the guy's intent.

I understand having a preference. Hell, I have a preference myself. I have a huge thing for nerdy men. But I'm not dating my boyfriend because he's a huge nerd I'm dating him because I like him. Just like he's dating me because he likes the person I am, not merely for a physical reason.

Bottom line: You should probably approach the woman you want as if she were any other woman. Get to know her, have fun, and don't obsess about her outer appearance (while talking to her or picking her up) or you may turn her off.

I wonder how Asian women feel when white men come to them do they feel like they are REALLY attracted to them or only because they are Asian? Right now I'm attracted to a certain white female not because she is white but she is smart & mature.. My mom calls her "forbidden fruit" I just chuckle.. She says she has no problem with her (they talk often)

[xxazurexx]

^Then why call her 'forbidden fruit' if she sees her as absolutely no problem.

Doesn't she like that you would a date a white woman, despite the fact she may get along with her?

I think people should be left alone and to make their own choices in life and date who the heck they want. Some people remain stuck in 'old ways', while the rest of the world has changed and is changing.

White people are taught and to embrace everyone, but some people still seem to have a lot of trouble embracing the 'whites'....

I'm not referring to your mum btw, but others from differing races who still have a big problem and for whom having a 'white' relative, would be a HUGE problem....f**king pathetic if you ask me.

[MikeL]

I think (or so she says) she says that because she feels she may not be christian... I take it with the "forbidden fruit" as her trying to make her less appealing I told her many of times I will date whom I feel like she's the one still hung up on color.. ugh it drives me ****ing nuts... but she says she has no problem with white people.. So how can you be hung up on color (she says she's not) but then say you are not??

I'm so glad I've grew up in mixed towns and cities where I did not need to make judgments like that

[xxazurexx]

Well there's another thing, religion seems to get in the way of everything too. Honestly, I think everyone should just take a 'chill' pill, relax and lighten up, lol
End of day we are all human, same needs, wants, desires, etc, etc....

[MikeL]

exactly and this is from a mother who complains about how she has no grand children yet...

[LailaK]

I wonder how Asian women feel when white men come to them do they feel like they are REALLY attracted to them or only because they are Asian? Right now I'm attracted to a certain white female not because she is white but she is smart & mature.. My mom calls her "forbidden fruit" I just chuckle.. She says she has no problem with her (they talk often)

All my Asian friends date Asian guys. When they do date white guys it's just a "phase" because each of them knows/says that they will marry an Asian man. Most of their parents still live in Korea/Hong Kong and are very disapproving of their daughters being too Americanized. They are also all virgins who are waiting for that wealthy investment banker to come along before they give it up. I don't know if that's the norm for Asian women or not. That's just my group of friends.

Funny thing is that all of my Black, Mixed, Latino, and Persian friends are all dating white guys. I think it's a San Francisco thing. :/

[MikeL]

I was reading the African American forum on topix and out of the few topics they have about white females or white people.. every so often someone will ask a question about how come black women never date white men or whatever.. Some or so quick to say "thanks but no thanks" I think they are afraid about dating out of their race.. Or they say they will get back at a black male by dating a white guy or whatever.. I think it's all pretty silly just like those Light vs dark skin threads running ramped at that site.

I a few years ago went on the west coast to WA state and man did I meet some down to earth women maybe the West coast is where it's at

[LailaK]

I can only speak for Californians but I do think race isn't that big of a deal here. I see more mixed couples of all kinds here in California. No one has ever given me a dirty look when I'm out holding hands with my boyfriend.

I went to New York a few years ago with a previous boyfriend (he was also white), and i was kinda shocked by the fact that people were looking at us funny. Growing up in Cali, I definitely wasn't use to that.

In California, regardless of if you are prejudice or not, I think there is social pressure to seem easy going and open minded.

[MikeL]

I can only speak for Californians but I do think race isn't that big of a deal here. I see more mixed couples of all kinds here in California. No one has ever given me a dirty look when I'm out holding hands with my boyfriend.

I went to New York a few years ago with a previous boyfriend (he was also white), and i was kinda shocked by the fact that people were looking at us funny. Growing up in Cali, I definitely wasn't use to that.

In California, regardless of if you are prejudice or not, I think there is social pressure to seem easy going and open minded.

Yeah I don't think it's a big deal out west.. funny my mom says to me she's not sure her father would want her to date a black guy.. I don't care how fair skin you are you're still black...

Funny thing is over the years of the amount of white females that have come to me they tend to be the most pale looking ones...

[MikeL]

**** man my mom's brain is like stuck in the 40's lol.. she's telling about this girl who likes me she's like I don't think her parents will like her dating a mixed black guy.. so full of shit you know how everyone is talking change and shit she should reflect on that... stop looking at everything as black & white.

This has her so worked up since I told her I'm asking her tomorrow for lunch.

[LailaK]

Just chill and do what you want to do. If your loved ones really love you (and I'm sure your mom does ) they will come around and support you once they see that you're happy.