Why do women like confident guys?

[Rosebud]

Seems to me, I read somewhere that men naturally like being the protector and have woman depend on them. They like being the breadwinner, gives them self-worth.

[whaywardj]

You people are talking as if you all know what each other means by the word "confident." By and large, it appears you're all restricting the meaning of the term to a sense of satisfaction one gets for coping successfully with a given status quo. My wonderment about confidence is similar to my wonderment about trust. When someone asks me, "Can I trust you?" my immediate thought is, "Trust me to what?" Similarly, if someone asks me if I'm confident, my immediate thought is, "About what?" I suspect, in general, far too strong a connection is made between "confident" and "secure." I'm not yet convinced they have any connection to each other at all.

[Rosebud]

So you don't think Confidence is related to satisfaction?

[indigosoul]

You people are talking as if you all know what each other means by the word "confident." By and large, it appears you're all restricting the meaning of the term to a sense of satisfaction one gets for coping successfully with a given status quo. My wonderment about confidence is similar to my wonderment about trust. When someone asks me, "Can I trust you?" my immediate thought is, "Trust me to what?" Similarly, if someone asks me if I'm confident, my immediate thought is, "About what?" I suspect, in general, far too strong a connection is made between "confident" and "secure." I'm not yet convinced they have any connection to each other at all.

Well, okay then, lets formalize the problem, shall we:

Confident = sense of satisfaction one gets for coping successfully with a given status quo

Secure = ???

[fear_21]

i think we all rather have conf. partners than not.

[Junsui]

There are some people that would rather date someone with a lower self esteem because they are easier to manipulate.

[JHW]

I don't think girls always like confident guys. For example I have very low self-confidence and I am quiet unsocial, unlike my girlfriend who's a chairwoman over the Social Democrats youth club....etc. etc. etc.

[Tone]

And what makes you think your girlfriend really likes you? ;p

Just messin.

i agree but its not always good when they have TOO much confidence , then they belive theyr untouchable , hence , arrogance , cocky

Yeah there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

[Junsui]

I don't think girls always like confident guys. For example I have very low self-confidence and I am quiet unsocial, unlike my girlfriend who's a chairwoman over the Social Democrats youth club....etc. etc. etc.

Like I said, some people like to date others with low self esteem because they are easier to manipulate.

I'm kidding lol. You may have low self-esteem, but do you sit there and cut yourself down and doubt everything she says and tell her that?

[JHW]

Well I have a hard time believing her when she says she really likes me, but I don't really tell her that. She says herself that I am boring sometimes. Then why does she want to be with me? Alot of things I don't get. It wouldn't surprise me if she IS manipulating me ;P

[Asip4u]

Could it be that: Ti si zelja iza koje druge zelje nema. You're welcome! but for real..
When you always have these doubts and ask "why does she want to be with me", i think she sees that insecurity as well...It's a big turnoff for many people...I'd start having a different attitude on things, otherwise things won't go very smoothly with her nor any other girl for that matter.

[JHW]

Could it be that: Ti si zelja iza koje druge zelje nema.

Could it be...what?

I'd start having a different attitude on things, otherwise things won't go very smoothly with her nor any other girl for that matter.

Heh. It's not that easy you know. I have tried. But to change yourself isn't that easy. I believe that you are always the same person, you can never change yourself. Once a cheater always a cheater, once a snitch always a snitch... etc.

[Junsui]

Actually your personality continues to change as you age. Since you have that outlook though, nothing will ever change for you.

[JHW]

maybe maybe..

I personally don't think I have changed at all. I feel that I have always been the same person inside and always will be.

But, I truly hope I'm wrong ;p

[Bluevetteracer]

Wayward Hayward is on the right track here, Confidence, in my understanding applies to your ability to deal with whatever situation you are in. Be it a traffic stop, tests, women, life, whatever. How you thread yourself for each of life's encounters.

Security is a self image idea, in my opinion. Security, or "self secure" is the image you have of yourself, or of which you feel others imagine you, or perceive you. Basically, what you think of yourself, and what you think, others think of you. Sadly, we tend to beat ourselves up, thus also imagining that others see us as we then see ourselves.

I think total security is knowing that not everyone has to like you, and that not every one will, but most of the people you encounter, or go through life with will. So, instead of trying to "fit in" or live afraid of what someone might think of you is really cheating yourself out of opportunity and experience.

This can be applied to many walks of life, but since we are focused on the interpersonal relationships with male/female, lets stick to that.

For me, I believe I am a nice person, funny, and allot of people, family, friends etc, love me (I know SHH/Hayward - hard to believe) : ) and that if one girl that I approach tells me to shove it, big deal, her loss. But being afraid of a stranger's opinion of me is not going to affect my life.