Talking on AIM

[theotherguy0123]

oo so you mean when guys mess up when they try to impress women, that's what win over a women's heart?

[football]

I think the fact that we have been friends helps with some of the things you were talking about. She's knows im not a player, interested in many girls at a time, she knows i"m looking for a quick score with a girl.

The other day she freaked the hell out of me, she was talking about some kid who she was great friends with, seemed like a good guy, and I asked her if they were still friends. She said no, she said he started liking her and she immediatly cut him right out of her life for years. I dont think she was hinting at me or anything, just scared me shitless for about 10 minutes lol

[Vanilla Gilr]

I'm not saying ALWAYS...lol...but yeah...sometimes it does...ya'll can be really cute when you mess up. But you have to remember...there is no one set way to win a woman...we're all different...just like ya'll are different. That's why I keep saying to just be yourselves...THAT'S the person you want someone to fall for...flaws and all...not some fake perfect person.

[theotherguy0123]

lolololol hahhahahhaaaaa maybe she just didn't like him.

[Vanilla Gilr]

I think the fact that we have been friends helps with some of the things you were talking about. She's knows im not a player, interested in many girls at a time, she knows i"m looking for a quick score with a girl.

The other day she freaked the hell out of me, she was talking about some kid who she was great friends with, seemed like a good guy, and I asked her if they were still friends. She said no, she said he started liking her and she immediatly cut him right out of her life for years. I dont think she was hinting at me or anything, just scared me shitless for about 10 minutes lol

How old is she? Did he just start liking her..or do something to offend her? And I know you guys are all so worried about getting stuck in some 'friend zone'...but in reality..alot of long term romances have a foundation in friendship.

[football]

How old is she? Did he just start liking her..or do something to offend her? And I know you guys are all so worried about getting stuck in some 'friend zone'...but in reality..alot of long term romances have a foundation in friendship.

This happend about 2 years ago, she is 19 right now. From what she told me, he just started liking her and them bam, she immediatly jim cut out of her life, she said she kinda feels bad about it, but it just felt really akward when she knew he started to like her.

[Vanilla Gilr]

Okay...I'm stumped...I have no clue why she would have cut a friend out of her life for 'liking' her...unless he was obnoxious and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer...

[football]

It's happend to me before, i've completely been cut out of a girls life, about 3 years ago. I didn't even hint at this girl I like her, I just told a mutual friend, she told the girl and we heven't really ever talked since.

[bball_1523]

I sometimes am bothered with the AIM ordeal, but there's nothing much you can do. Just treat her as you talk to your other friends on AIM. What I do with my friends is there will be times where I will just say Hi and talk for a few min, then not talk at all for hours or even for the rest of the day. That's kind of how I talk to a girl I currenty like right now. I mean it's really hard trying to be impressive, but Vanilla hit the nail, in that you just need to be yourself.

[blackiesharley]

It's hard not to overthink every move, one dumbass thing can ruin everything. I truely believe in the words girls can forgive, but they never forget.

You're too much like me. I tend to over-think everything. Stop it! If you want to talk to her, just do it, but keep it lite, don't smother her. You have to find a balance.

And as far as doing a dumbass thing, you will. You're human. So is she and she'll do a dumbass thing too. I think part of a test of a good relationship is how easily two people can work through a 'dumbass' mistake and move forward together. You may never talk to her again or maybe marry her and grow old together, but each of you will screw up from time to time. Don't worry about it!

I'm so good at giving advice. I wish I could listen to myself sometimes.

[bball_1523]

You're too much like me. I tend to over-think everything. Stop it! If you want to talk to her, just do it, but keep it lite, don't smother her. You have to find a balance.

And as far as doing a dumbass thing, you will. You're human. So is she and she'll do a dumbass thing too. I think part of a test of a good relationship is how easily two people can work through a 'dumbass' mistake and move forward together. You may never talk to her again or maybe marry her and grow old together, but each of you will screw up from time to time. Don't worry about it!

I'm so good at giving advice. I wish I could listen to myself sometimes.

haha I'm like that too. I think about every little detail about every little thing I do with girls. I guess the solution is to go with the flow.

[football]

When I'm with the girl, I dont think much about what I say, I do tend to say some stupid things now and again (nothing too bad), everyone does, I end up going with the flow. But it's when I'm away from the girl, sitting at home, is when I start overanalyzing what happend that night and how I should proceede with the next night, figuring out a "perfect" time to call her, dumb shit like that.

[theotherguy0123]

Yeahhh, I don't know why we do that neither? I don't overly think when I'm with the girl I like, but sometimes later, I overthinks about what happened...I don't know why.

[football]

Yeahhh, I don't know why we do that neither? I don't overly think when I'm with the girl I like, but sometimes later, I overthinks about what happened...I don't know why.

I kind of know why I do it. I'm not a perfectionist, but I hate to "fail" at something. I know not getting the girl isn't really failing it just part of the process and experience, but I can't help but want to make sure I never fail. This causes me to overanalize everything, and is usually counterproductive.

It's like a simple basketball game with some friends, if you lose it doesn't mean much at all, but I'm just so competitive that I just want to win the game regardless of how important it is. I'm not saying girls are unimportant, but in the grand scheme of things, over a lifetime, one girl usually wont make much of a difference in your overall life.

[blackiesharley]

I'm not saying ALWAYS...lol...but yeah...sometimes it does...ya'll can be really cute when you mess up. But you have to remember...there is no one set way to win a woman...we're all different...just like ya'll are different. That's why I keep saying to just be yourselves...THAT'S the person you want someone to fall for...flaws and all...not some fake perfect person.

I agree with all that. PERFECT is subjective. The woman that is perfect for me might not be perfect for you. And when you f**k up, try and keep a smile on your face, it's not World War Three. (Could be but probably not).

And keep meeting NEW people, even as friends. Don't focus on just one until you are sure (are we ever?) that THIS is the ONE you want to persue.

You know, my best relationships have always just happened. Doesn't matter if we met at a sleezy bar on a drunken night or it was my Mother's best friend who set me up with her daughter from church. (I'm thinking of two extreme past examples) Meet someone, no game playing, I like you, you like me, let's move forward. That's the way it should and CAN be.

Keep pushing on, don't close any doors and you'll be fine.