Can't figure out the girl that means so much to me (Long read, but please help)

[clynn]

You know, I hate to say it.....and I'm glad you love her......
...BUT...this girl sounds like a real Downer to meet, as in a complete drip.

If she is this sour and negative all the time what is the attraction? Do you always want to be boosting a person's ego and worrying about hurting their feelings. She seems quite self centred as well.

[alice]

since you mentioned her mom >> self-esteem's got a lot to do with how you've grown up, what kind of feedback you've had from your parents … but of course, i don't know her, so i really can't judge.

[lovesjoyajm]

That's such a tough situation. Never having been in a relationship, I don't really know that "I don't a relationship, no matter who it's with" feeling, but maybe she's too afraid of getting hurt to commit, like you said.
I had a similar experience, just on a much smaller scale. I'm just curious what you (or she) feels the difference would be between what you have now, and a "relationship". Other than the name...
Sorry, that was no help. But I hope everything works out

Annie
aim - afiddlebug

[King_For_A_DAy]

That's such a tough situation. Never having been in a relationship, I don't really know that "I don't a relationship, no matter who it's with" feeling, but maybe she's too afraid of getting hurt to commit, like you said.
I had a similar experience, just on a much smaller scale. I'm just curious what you (or she) feels the difference would be between what you have now, and a "relationship". Other than the name...
Sorry, that was no help. But I hope everything works out

Annie
aim - afiddlebug

I said the same thing,

Me: Things would hardly be any different from what they are now. It already feels like we're in one.
Emily: I know, but I don't want to label it. I just don't want that kind of attatchment.
Me: We don't have to label it anything.
Emily: But I'd know in my head.... I don't know. I just don't want that in my life right now.

So I do think she is afraid. Like I said, she couldn't even look at me when she was saying these things. She could only look at me when she said "Why can't things stay the same? Why do things have to change?" and "I know a relationship would work between us."

Wow. What the f*** happened to her to make her have such low low low self esteem? Must've gotten a STD from her last boyfriend or somethin because that makes no sense.

And for the part about how she doesn't think she'll make it w/ Emerson, you should really get her to read the book "Think and Grow Rich". If not the whole book then at least the first 40 pages. She'll get something out of it

Well, she's a virgin. So the STD's out of the picture. Plus the kid in the last relationship is too afraid of something like that (took him 2 months to hold her hand).

You know, I hate to say it.....and I'm glad you love her......
...BUT...this girl sounds like a real Downer to meet, as in a complete drip.

If she is this sour and negative all the time what is the attraction? Do you always want to be boosting a person's ego and worrying about hurting their feelings. She seems quite self centred as well.

She's actually really nice and fun to be around. Plus we have all of the same morals and views on life, and we can talk for hours on end about anything and everything. It's just when something about her comes up, you know?

[ndru]

i see da picture now yer she HOT!~!!!!!!!!~! and for you i can't say ne thing cuz it would make me sound gay, but i believe you to make the couple ^^

[King_For_A_DAy]

i see da picture now yer she HOT!~!!!!!!!!~! and for you i can't say ne thing cuz it would make me sound gay, but i believe you to make the couple ^^

Hahaha, thanks!

[Ekips]

What I think : She dosn't know how to explain that she wants all the cuddling and rubbing and warmth, but dosn't care about the person. She probably did like you at one time. Think about it by taking a step back. Do you like her? Why? Is that true, or does it seem that way only because she might like you?

[King_For_A_DAy]

What I think : She dosn't know how to explain that she wants all the cuddling and rubbing and warmth, but dosn't care about the person. She probably did like you at one time. Think about it by taking a step back. Do you like her? Why? Is that true, or does it seem that way only because she might like you?

I definitely do like her. I didn't find out she liked me until much later, and she does care. She shows how much she cares quite a bit of the time. I don't think you talk to someone hours and hours on end to someone you don't care about. Especially not 12 straight hours of just talking.

[alice]

What I think : She dosn't know how to explain that she wants all the cuddling and rubbing and warmth, but dosn't care about the person. She probably did like you at one time.

how did you come to that conclusion?

[XPixiedustX]

well I finally read the whole thing, and well obviously she has issues to work out, and ur plan to be there for her is really good as long as U can accept being just friends, sure u guys cuddle, sure u probably know her and love her more than anyone else, but unless she feels the exact same way...u will get hurt. If u can be there for her, even though she might never want anything more then friendship...then u really are special. then there is the whoel college thing, like it or not college changes people. She might not change in teh way u want her too. I'm not trying tto be pessimistic, it's just that we sumetimes lose our objectivity in love. If u really believe in destiny and "meant to bes" then let her be, let her grow and mayeb one day she'll find herself back in ur arms and things will be different.

[tealoctober]

I'm sort of in the same situation as you....highschool, girl is sorta indecisive and you dont know why she isnt ready to commit, etc. Just looking at your myspaces i would suggest that you dont write as many public messages that seem so affectionate. Sure, it's fine to say those things privately, but "aww, i'm fond of you too!", even if it was in response to something she wrote, might not be a smart move if she dosent want a relationship with you now. I dont mean to say that she dosent like you, but if she isnt looking for a relationship she will try to give off a public "not-interested" aura, and by you making such comments publically could be hindering her plan.

I dunno, it's smart of you to go back to your normal lives, I've been there many times myself talking until the early hours of the morning, but sometimes it is necessary for your own good to find another way to show commitment and friendship than by messing your life and schedule up.

[King_For_A_DAy]

I'm sort of in the same situation as you....highschool, girl is sorta indecisive and you dont know why she isnt ready to commit, etc. Just looking at your myspaces i would suggest that you dont write as many public messages that seem so affectionate. Sure, it's fine to say those things privately, but "aww, i'm fond of you too!", even if it was in response to something she wrote, might not be a smart move if she dosent want a relationship with you now. I dont mean to say that she dosent like you, but if she isnt looking for a relationship she will try to give off a public "not-interested" aura, and by you making such comments publically could be hindering her plan.

Ah, see, those comments were all before everything happened. Like, way before everything happened.

[King_For_A_DAy]

Fun fact:

(this was months ago) So, a teacher of mine was looking into colleges for me. My major will be something with Music. On this list of schools is Emerson, I look it up, seems like a great place for me. Right in the heart of Boston, right in the heart of up-and-coming music. Well, at the time I'm completely oblivious to the fact that Emily's #1 choice school is Emerson. Talk about coincidence.

[King_For_A_DAy]

Apparently she goes to counselling every 2 weeks for a 45 minute session.

[King_For_A_DAy]

Wow, I'm finding out that her parents are terrible to her. Like, they yell at her everyday. Her mom told her she hated her a bunch of times today, and now both of her parents are saying she won't get into any of the schools she applied to and she won't go anywhere.


She says "well on a whole, they're good parents. they do what they're supposed to"

and the mom's been threatening to get divorced since Emily was in third grade...

"i remember in like third grade or something
she was like, 'i swear i'm divorcing your dad'
it scared the shit out of me then
now when she says it i'm like
'so do it'
they're pretty miserable"

"but hey, a few more months [til she leaves for college]. that's what i keep telling myself"

She definitely does seem like the blacksheep. She's also the oldest. Plus I really think she hates change. She only goes out with the same 2-3 friends weekly.

It sounds terrible. I can see why she wouldn't want to be with anyone right now.