Question

[Lloyd95]

If you love someone, does it make your love for someone else, who you previously knew, less? No, I don't think so.

[Gigabitch]

I've been dealing with this question for quite a while due to my personal confusion, which i really hate. I'd like to hear some other opinions or experiences. So here it is: Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

Of course it is! But how is that working out for you? I'd say it's possible but not easy.

[Mucka]

I's not working out at all!! It's confusing and awful and it makes me wanna hit myself till i make up my mind. i was just wandering if anyone else went through that, how did he/she deal and how did things work out.
O, yeah, i just wanted to add that i'm not cheating on anyone (at least not in concrete way...). I'm the only one who knows about this... Well, plus everybody who read this topic

[clynn]

If you're having these feelings, they are obviously real.

HOWEVER....how you deal with it will show REAL LOVE. Because I believe real love is about commitment and sometimes about making hard decisions to honour the person you love and respect.

Now, if that happens to be two people: You could respect, honour, love the person who you have made the commitment to. And move on / distance yourself from the other person so as to save their feelings and limit your temptation.

[Gigabitch]

So, what's this all about? Do you have a mad crush? How did this happen?

[Pears]

Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

No. If you can't choose, make them play rock paper scissors.

[Only-virgins]

No, One you "think" you love, the other you "do" love. Foolish mortals who said Yes.

[Mish]

No. If you can't choose, make them play rock paper scissors.

BUT

What if they both choose rock???

These impossible questions, they just never seem to stop do they?

[dono]

I just wanted to say that I said "NO" from the start.

No, One you "think" you love, the other you "do" love. Foolish mortals who said Yes.

Look into your feelings more. Find out what's really going on maybe? Do you really love BOTH people, or maybe you just really like one, or love one, and have an infatuation with the other? Just some thoughts.

PS: If you can't decide then choose the hotter one!

[vashti]

I just read an article in National Geographic about love biology. The chemical that is released during the infatuation stage is serotonin, the same chemical that is released when you are taking drugs, and also the same chemical that is present in high levels for those who suffer from OCD. In long term relationships, serotonin levels are eventually replaced by the chemical oxytocin.

Since these chemicals utilize different receptors, I don't know why it would be biologically impossible to be in the new love stage with one person, and in the long term stage with another.

[dono]

I just read an article in National Geographic about love biology...

I did too Vashti, that was pretty interesting

Since these chemicals utilize different receptors, I don't know why it would be biologically impossible to be in the new love stage with one person, and in the long term stage with another.

I would have to agree with that statement. So I guess you could say you're "in love", but technically you may not have the same type of love for both people. It may be hard to distinguish.

[Lloyd95]

I have OCD and don't feel "high" or "infatuated"? Of course I'm on Lexapro

[vashti]

That obsessive feeling you have when you are not medicated is the same obsessive feeling you have when you are in lust with a new girl, right? Don't you think about her obsessively?

[Mish]

I just read an article in National Geographic about love biology. The chemical that is released during the infatuation stage is serotonin, the same chemical that is released when you are taking drugs, and also the same chemical that is present in high levels for those who suffer from OCD. In long term relationships, serotonin levels are eventually replaced by the chemical oxytocin.

Since these chemicals utilize different receptors, I don't know why it would be biologically impossible to be in the new love stage with one person, and in the long term stage with another.

So everyone who has high zerononin and oxypoxy levels are automaticaly in love with multiple people?

I think above is only possible in two situations:

1. The new love stage is infatuation, based upon finding something that the person currently lacks
2. The person has fallen out of love with the other and found someone new.

I think there is a posibillity of the third where the person doesn't really know what love is and is in ifatuation stage with the two or three or four people, infatuation can include as many people as there are people on earth.

I don't think that love is 100% chemicals bouncing around in your body, supply of which decides the levels or depth of your love. Because based on that I can say, if you want someone to fall in love, just inject him / her with chemicals. That would be a big winner in arranged marriages department I would imagine... What about knowing when someone is right for you based on personality and personal qualities? What about someone meeting your standards? What about past experience? What about compatibillity levels between the two? are you automatically dismissing everything else in favour of some chemical reaction in your body which decides who your love partner is?

I agree with what others have mentioned. There could be an infatuation with the other ofcourse, but he would only really love just the one (Provided he really is in love at all because it could be argued that if he really was in love with at least one of the girls he wouldn't have so much doubt in the first place).

[vashti]

I don't think that love is 100% chemicals bouncing around in your body, supply of which decides the levels or depth of your love. Because based on that I can say, if you want someone to fall in love, just inject him / her with chemicals. That would be a big winner in arranged marriages department I would imagine... .

You don't have to inject anyone with anything. They are produced automatically by the body under the right circumstances. Incidentally, oxytocin is produced naturally during orgasm, the same chemical which enhances the feeling of connection in long term relationships.

Not that I'd expect you to "buy" into this. After all, it is mere science.