Should I be upset about this or not?

[Steven715]

BH, I don't know you very well, but from what I can see, you get really worried for no good reason a lot. I think you need some emotional equivalent of "counting to ten" before you get so worried.

You're gonna wear her out with your chronic need for reassurance.

I know of what I speak.

I think that gigabitch is right i am aslo like you worry about the stupidest of things and then in my own mind thay tern into big things i know how you feel but i dont know how stop worrying! I sopose we want things to work out so bad that one little thing can set us off unfortunatley i am the same like i said Keep going at it mate and try not to get so worked up about things i know this is easer said than done! Have the very best of luck mate

[blackiesharley]

I think that gigabitch is right i am aslo like you worry about the stupidest of things and then in my own mind thay tern into big things i know how you feel but i dont know how stop worrying! I sopose we want things to work out so bad that one little thing can set us off unfortunatley i am the same like i said Keep going at it mate and try not to get so worked up about things i know this is easer said than done! Have the very best of luck mate

I'll be the first to admit that Gigabitch is right, but I, like you don't know how to stop. You said it perfectly. 'I sopose we want things to work out so bad that one little thing can set us off' This is so true, but at least we're aware of it.

One thing that I do is when I get in these moods is to take a 'time out' and calm down, maybe come on here and rant. It's better to say nothing than to say something stupid out of emotion.But there's a problem with that too, when I go into 'silence mode' it can look like I'm pouting or playing baby games.

I guess the bottom line is if it works, it works, if it doesn't, oh well. Next...

[Steven715]

The trouble wiht me it eats at me even if i sleep on it and i would be realey peed off at work until she txts agane and then i am ok i even have once asked her how it was going this was not so long back a couple of days infact i was mega pleased that she thort that things was going great. Like you say at least we are aware of it and not in denyal

[blackiesharley]

Steven715, we're exactly alike.

I've gone in 'silence mode' for the day. Phone machine on, not even checking messages. It's for my own sanity. I'm not pouting or sulking, I've got a lot of sh*t to do and I can't deal with her today.

[Steven715]

It dont help that i am a Pessimist but that is such as life i sopose the diffence is that it can change me with in a second with just 1 txt message dam Technology is so easy to get your wires crossed! wish i know a cure for us

[blackiesharley]

wish i know a cure for us

There is a cure for us. Very simple. Become like 90% of all the other men out there, just go to a club/bar/pub, take the first girl that smiles at you home and fu*k the sh*t outta her then send her on her way and never speak to her again.

Sadly, I don't think I can ever become that kinda person. I'm a very strong man, but when I start caring about someone deeply I lose all emotional control. Like I said before, at least I'm aware of it.

My buddies are calling me from Las Vegas this weekend telling me how many chicks they're meeting, how they're partying and drinking till 4am, 'wish you were here Blackie to join us.'

No. I'd be much happier today tossing a frisbee in my backyard with my (so-called) girlfriends daughters. Wonder if she realizes that? Probably not...

[Steven715]

i like you can not do as you sergested i think that is so shallow and i realey cant see the point of that! After all i want quality sex not quantity if you understand what i am saying am like you trying to over come my "problem" and talking to the girl and not to try and get every thing at one see my other thread at [URL="http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=13137"]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=13137[/URL] i still have not yet called her like i said i would because i get the impression that she dont want me to but on the other hand like gigabitch said she gave me her number for a reason but i realey dont like to push the "relationship" to far if you like so i muck every thing up as to me this is valubale that is the first sort of contact with some one who is potentially intrested in 4 years. That is why to me it is valubale but at the moment i am very pleased to say is that things are going great not as good as others but the very important thing to me is that it is going slow so that must mean a good time together i hope. I think that one of the things that is making it difficult on her part is that we live about 180 Miles away to me that is not an issue i dont cair if i have to sit on the moterway for 3 hours so what i am getting something that is worth while to me! Sorry for going on abit i sopose i wanted to get that off of my chest but on a upper note she has aggreed to let me call her this week as she is off work so we will see what happens.
I know what you mean by "I'd be much happier today tossing a frisbee in my backyard with my (so-called) girlfriends daughters" But you say "Wonder if she realizes that? Probably not" what do you mean by this? But 1 thing i will say is Chin up it is probbley going better than we think i hope so any way
Edit: i forgot to say i am pleased that there is still some very few (10%)of us that thinks like i do! If i had my own way i would like to marry asap and be happy that is alls i want not mutch to ask surly did not heart my Grandparents!

[blackiesharley]

I know what you mean by "I'd be much happier today tossing a frisbee in my backyard with my (so-called) girlfriends daughters" But you say "Wonder if she realizes that? Probably not" what do you mean by this?

What I mean is that I wonder if she appreciates the fact that I care about that. If I were out with my buddies in some Las Vegas nightclub drinking and seeing all these girls I'd be thinking about her all the while.

Meanwhile, I just cannot deal with her today. I know myself very well and I'm not playing a game, (even though it probably looks like it) but I've got a ton of work to do and I'm emotionally drained.

Even professional ball teams take time-outs. I've had the phone unplugged for awhile now...

I do love her, but I'm just not up to dealing with her at the moment.

[vashti]

You keep saying you can't deal with her for now, but I think that the reason you are feeling this way is because of the excessive amount of time you spend communicating with her throughout the day on a regular basis. I mean, jeez, Blackie! I don't talk to my huband that frequently in a single day, not even when my babies were small!

Maybe if you drew clearer, more manageable boundaries at the start, you wouldn't get to the point where you need the "time out". You've gotta pace yourself, my friend!

[Steven715]

You keep saying you can't deal with her for now, but I think that the reason you are feeling this way is because of the excessive amount of time you spend communicating with her throughout the day on a regular basis. I mean, jeez, Blackie! I don't talk to my huband that frequently in a single day, not even when my babies were small!

Maybe if you drew clearer, more manageable boundaries at the start, you wouldn't get to the point where you need the "time out". You've gotta pace yourself, my friend!

I think that vashti is right that is alot of contact in one day even i try as hard as it is is to have like a day break from txting her i try every other day if i can i dont want to be constantley texting her but i dont want to see not intrested as i am!
keep your spirits up as hard as it is in this sort of situation. I do know how you feel and if it was me i would feel realy bad like you do. I am not saying stop and then work out a new system but less contact may make her realise what she is missing or even it will make things up with you 2 i dont realy know what i am talking about hear but i am trying to help as best i can hopefully some one would help you out or help me help you at least.

[blackiesharley]

I understand what you guys are saying, but it's not ME that calls and emails ten times a day. It's HER calling/emailing me.

I admit that I like the attention and I wouldn't be rude by not answering or not returning her calls or emails, but today I just need to de-compress.

[Steven715]

I understand what you guys are saying, but it's not ME that calls and emails ten times a day. It's HER calling/emailing me.

I admit that I like the attention and I wouldn't be rude by not answering or not returning her calls or emails, but today I just need to de-compress.

oh i see very sorry about that. I like you like to reply to messages asap i do not like leaving them unfortunatley she dont do the same like today i put something this morning and still waiting for a reply but nothing still she could of ran out of credit. But i am not to worryed about that!

I dont arth rant about my own crap i am sorry for this trouble with me is i try and compair a situation with someone elces to try and understand. Still it iver works or it dont you make your minds up!

[blackiesharley]

So Steven715, what's the latest? Any contact with her?

On my end, I haven't even checked messages since yesterday afternoon. I'm taking the day off, maybe it will be good for each of us and for 'us' as a couple. I'll call her tonight.

On a side note, the girl I was seeing before her called me yesterday out of the blue. Very sweet. Long talk, she said she'd marry me in a minute if she didn't have kids that force her to take things more slowly than if she were foot-loose and fancy-free. She's gonna be passing through my town on a business trip June 9th and wants to get together and stay over. Sure, why not? Why close the door? Just watch though, that will be the one weekend that my current will actually make it here. Just my luck...

Both of these are great women in their own ways. Guess I'm lucky in a way, I have two possible future mates. I DO have a major preference though, my current of course. I'm IN love with her and I do LOVE the ex.

[Steven715]

Yes i did get contact from bernie her nick name! At midnight of all times but i dont care as long as i hear from her as it happens it did not wake me any way! But she did apologise so you could say at lease she is making a good effot on my behalf i did txt her back this morning but agane am waiting for a reply now afternoon but like i say i am trying not to let it get to me and as it happens i am very happy with way things are going at the moment it seems that she wants to take things slow which is 110% fine with me as i am not up to speed on what to do any way so.
Now back to you dont you find that it is just typicial that 2 busses come along at once but at least if your Girlfriend is not there you can talk to you mate about all this and her knowing you she may be able to give some very good advice for you it is always nice to have a long talk and thrash a few things out! Let me know how you get on in the mean time and of corse the 9th of june hmm dont you just love dates that seem to orentate arround eachother! Best o luck any and i hope that you get on well with your telephone talk! Like i say let me know Chears Steve

[blackiesharley]

Thanks Steve -

And good for you! I figured you would hear from her yesterday.

I don't know what to do today. It's a holiday (Memorial Day) and I feel I'm really too depressed to talk to her. I don't know if she's called or not, haven't checked. I'll wait awhile. In fairness I haven't called her either. I know this looks like a game/pout/sulk/avoiding her but I think it's for the best at the moment. I will call her tonight.

Give her some space to think...