Should I keep holdin on to her? Dilema.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Oh yeh, I fogot to add;
she got engaged before we ever met. Hope that does help my situation. I was never around when she accepted. I didn't even existed for her. And now I remember why she brought up her fiance when we were "kicking it", I mention something about a friend that I liked and she mention her name. I said, "yeh, bu I'm all over her now". Then 15 min go by and "bang" she tells me about her fiance. Hopefully jealousy hit her and hopefully I'm not worng. Oh yeh, I went back to read my e-mails to her and when I read it, I sounded like a friend. I was like, "dang, why did I write like a friend"? And I remember her asking me to go to Disneyland together. I changed subjects and never said yes or no. Man, was I stupid!!!!
Please reply people. Please.

[jane]

ok.. I know that you rally have feelings for this girl. Are you sure that she has feelings for you in return?

I think that if you are staying friends with this girl because you think that somehow you'll have a chance with her and you don't want to give that up... I think and I am sorry to say this... your being a little
delussional.. and this is why..

She is engaged. She gave herself away to someone. That is not something you can just change over night. I mean it sound like she is really confused but i would venture to guess she is going to stay with him. She likes you as a friend or she wouldn't even talk to you but I think you need to support her decision to be with him.

I am a little unclear about one thing.. did you sleep with her before you knew she was engaged or after?

[Nice Lover Boy]

I have never slept with her. I am not a dog looking for someplace to burry my bone, I have changed. I guess I have ghanged for her? I always told myself that if I would get a chance to be with her, I would treat her right and prepare the relationship the right way. I think I did have an oppertunity( I hope you read all my facts). I just screwed it all up. She is young, us young people just really want to grow up so fast. True fact also. I know their was something there, and it is more then just friends. I swear, she would call me up and tell me; "hey, guess what....we broke up again", like no big deal. I would say, "sorry to hear that...." and start talking but she would just say, "I kind of don't care, we are just holding eachother from the pinky now". So I mean, I don't want to be illusional also, but I believe that their is something there. Maybe the feeling has just completely went A-wall?
What have I done? Maybe the fact of me expressing my ways that I wanted to be just a friend, made her put me out as a "runner-up". Cuz I now it's hard for her to throw the engagement away, and she just needs to be sure what way she really wants to go? With me, "nice boy", or the asshole fiance? Nobody likes him, her mom and her friends like me and hope for me to take place. Her mom doesn't even know they are engaged. She just thinks they are "friends". I hope she is talking to someone about her a real decision making.

Damm...where is the rest of my help????

[LightOn]

Where is the rest of your help? Sometimes we have to take charge of something, like your feelings for her, instead of relying on others. I don't see you settling down as just a friend with this girl. You have already got your self emotionally attached to her.

You have a few choices

1: Giving up on her, letting her go. Because obviously yall are not together now anyway

2: Continue being a "friend" So that you eventually break down and don't want to do anything with your life untill you "have her"

3: Keep looking for real help that odds are will never come!

4: Going in an actually making an advance to her to get a rejection, with an "alleged" chance of a good response.

I think she has you by the leash and I don't even think you realize how drastic that is. So if she has you by the leash, then technically you are being a dog about it. Her actions are leading you!

Forget about "her" for just this moment. What do you want? Do you want someone who can't decide what they want? Yes she is human, and you should accept the fact that she may be confused about what she wants.....Don't let her confusion confuse you!!!!!!!

If what you say is true about there being something between the 2 of you, that doesn't say a lot for someone who is engaged to be married. I am sure she is a sweet girl, she may be just a tad to sweet.

Do you want the girl to be with you? Or do you not want to see her marry "the jerk" Which is the true priority here?

[IceQueen]

I don't see why you need advice. It's not like you're following any of what we said anyway...

[Nice Lover Boy]

well, I have been taking advice, I haven't called her or e-mailed her. But I want and hope that you guy's gave me hope and confidence to stay in there. But this is reality and not a love story. But I hope you guys read everything I have written. I tried to write every single detail do you guys could kind of visualize the situation. Shit, I know or knew, that I had an oppertunity to break it up. Well, I'll call and try to do magic. I mean I made some married women to divorce their spouse for me. Why can't I do the same here?Maybe I have? But maybe the fact that I want to see her happy declines my attitude of breaking up her engagement. Best thing to do is hang in there and hope that "homeboy" screws up again.And to answer your question, I want her to be with me.
I'm happy with her. You know something, maybe I should let her know something. I'll try to slide in a hint to her. But I am scared. Fear is my only option.

[IceQueen]

I mean I made some married women to divorce their spouse for me.

How about the world? Do you make it turn, as well?

I'll try to slide in a hint to her.

Umm.. you really think she doesn't KNOW how you feel about her?

[Nice Lover Boy]

True, she probably knows. But maybe I master minded the situation where it hide my feelings for her becuase everytime she kept talking to me about her fiance arguing, I was their to tell her to hold on, yah know? Man, now I so confused. Don't know what to do but pray?
Why did she call me the day after when I told her; "you know that a guy feels good when a girl calls him".
It get's me insane.

[MVPlaya]

Originally posted by IceQueen
Prediction: she and he will eventually break up, but it won't be you she ends up with. And she will be right.

Exactement.

Stay away from engaged girls or those who have been cohabitating for a while. And just because her friends want you over the other doesn't mean sh!t. The thing is, you've been a PLATONIC friend for a long while, odds are you won't be able to change that any time soon. She probably knows about your interest in her but she won't go for you anytime soon.

Find someone else.

[DuckyWucky]

You won't end up with this girl. Forget her. She's out messing with this other guy, and you're only here for her to talk to when something wrong happens and she wants someone to cry to. Screw that beeeyatch!

[Nice Lover Boy]

Hey, did I mention that her parents don't know about the engagement???? Yeh, if she does break up, maybe she will find someone else? But she won't feel comfertible cuz she wants to go back into her religion. She wants her faith back. She has been going to church since birth, and she wants to go back. And well, I am alike her also. We both grew up in church(not catholic, christian yes). Her fiance does not like church, and that's a big must for her. But, I guess most of you guys are telling to be her friend still, hurts me.....

[apiman]

I'm sorry, but why on earth did she get engaged with someone so opposite from herself? What did she see in this guy you describe?

[Nice Lover Boy]

Originally posted by apiman
I'm sorry, but why on earth did she get engaged with someone so opposite from herself? What did she see in this guy you describe?

Yeh dude, I'm wondering the same thing. And wondering why she hasn't left him yet? Maybe she is a gold digger??lol. nah, just kidding.

[jane]

crazy mess man...
If I were you I would let her go....
I think she likes the idea that you are "drooling" after her.. There are women who do exactly what you are indrectly saying.. Keep a guy in "the wings" incase.
You seem to nice of a guy to do that to yourself.

I know this isn't what you want to hear.. and you can do whatever you want but remember .. just cause we are women, doesn;t mean we can't play "the game".

[Nice Lover Boy]

yeh, It's not what I want to hear, but everyone who is replying seems to be giving me the same response. Man, this sucks. But read all the details, there has got to be something that looks good.