Update, blog style...

[vashti]

By the way, I have been thinking about the relationsip between young adult children and their parents when they are living at home because my sister is having difficulty with her 18 year old son. This is my latest hypothesis. This difficulty seems to be almost universal from about the late teens and onward until kids move out on their own. I think this is mother nature's way of ensuring children will leave their parent's nest and form their own, thereby ensuring continuation of the species. Mother nature, in her wisdom, makes parents stubborn and children yearn for independence at the same time so that kids will overcome their fear of leaving home, and parents will not be heartbroken when they do.

I hope that was articulate.

what do you think?

[Junket]

By the way, I have been thinking about the relationsip between young adult children and their parents when they are living at home because my sister is having difficulty with her 18 year old son. This is my latest hypothesis. This difficulty seems to be almost universal from about the late teens and onward until kids move out on their own. I think this is mother nature's way of ensuring children will leave their parent's nest and form their own, thereby ensuring continuation of the species. Mother nature, in her wisdom, makes parents stubborn and children yearn for independence at the same time so that kids will overcome their fear of leaving home, and parents will not be heartbroken when they do.

I hope that was articulate.

what do you think?

Makes sense to me.

Unfortunately it's not practical in this day and age for me to find a nice tree to nest in.

I'm paid a stipend of 400 dollars (before taxes) bi-weekly.

After I've completed my one year term I'll recieve an education award of $4,725.

There's also this other thing where for one year after my term is up, if I apply to any government job I will automatically be put at the top of list so long as I qualify. I forget what the term is...

Not to mention the value of the experience itself.

I'm already doing things I've never done, I'm in a position of responsibility I've never held...

I'm feel like I'm running around in circles.

My brother kind of persuaded me last night that this was all a bad idea.

But my friend today persuaded me it was a good idea...good in comparison to the alternatives...

I mean really, how many people my age (20) are really out on their own?

And I mean really on their own.

Not in school, not in military service, none of that.

Living in their own apartment with good income.

It's financially too soon for me to leave.

[vashti]

I agree that there is absolute value to what you are doing.

About the moving out on your own - I agree that not many people are completely on their own at your age, but lots live with roommates or rent rooms out of other people's homes. Maybe you should consider this if things get to be too hard at home.

Is there any chance you can sign up for another round of what you did before? I mean, you weren't at home for nine months, right?

Otherwise, I guess you will have to tolerate your dad's crankiness....

[Junket]

I agree that there is absolute value to what you are doing.

About the moving out on your own - I agree that not many people are completely on their own at your age, but lots live with roommates or rent rooms out of other people's homes. Maybe you should consider this if things get to be too hard at home.

Is there any chance you can sign up for another round of what you did before? I mean, you weren't at home for nine months, right?

Otherwise, I guess you will have to tolerate your dad's crankiness....

If I take a step back and really weigh the pros and cons, I get paid the same regardless of what I do right? However, if I were to move out it would suck fast and hard on my wallet. Financially speaking I am better off here...

Technically, yes I could have gone another 10 months in NCCC, but there'd be no advancement unless I applied to be a Teamleader, and for my age, that option isn't the best idea.

This VISTA position is one of greater responsibility, I focus less on direct service and more on indirect, volunteer recruitment and management, administrative work, more leading, less "doing" so to speak.

It kills me...he does support me financially, but that's about it, he doesn't support what I'm doing at all. I feel like it's a charity. I would rather pay rent and buy my own food and him support me emotionally, but he's forsaken. I tried reasoning with him, I used my best conflict management and reasoning skills, one of my strong points, but he's a lost cause. No wonder he hated my mom, they're so similar. They hear what I say, but they don't listen.

Just tryin' to get stuff done...I never suspected that the toughest part of this year would actually have nothing to do with work I'm doing.

[misombra]

everything in its own time frizzz.

[jurupa]

Look, guys need to be DOING something, or they get depressed.

I never heared of this before. I am not saying your right nor worng on this as studies shown guys are more prone to depression than girls and are more like to have depression and not know it. I am not trying to blow this up into a huge argumenet/debate, but I think the nature v.s enivorment comes into play here. I agree that Frasbee is most probably getting depression from his current life style and its doing more harm than good.

Frasbee - Why haven't you drop out of the volunteer program yet? It seems that this is causing you more problems than anything else. We all get into ruts, but the simplist thing can get us out of them. If you took up a paying job I bet you will feel somwhat better. And if you moved out of your dad's house you will do even better. I been in ruts before and know that it seems that there is no way out, but there are ways out and they usually take you out of the rut your in.

[vashti]

I think Giga is right about you needing to keep busier. Maybe you can take on some other sort of job that is very flexible and understands you have another commitment... maybe something from home? Maybe some freelance handiman kind of work? Or maybe you can put in an application at a temp agency where they hire you out by the day.

[vashti]

When does one decide it best to watch out for themself and not others?

You must always make taking care of yourself your first priority. The only exception is when you have kids, and some would argue that even then, YOU are your first priority.

[Junket]

I think Giga is right about you needing to keep busier. Maybe you can take on some other sort of job that is very flexible and understands you have another commitment... maybe something from home? Maybe some freelance handiman kind of work? Or maybe you can put in an application at a temp agency where they hire you out by the day.

It's funny you should mention that.

Dunno if I told you guys this either, that my old boss from GameStop was opening a videogame cafe, this past summer I've been helpin' prep it for openin', paintin', and doing minor construction work. It should be close to opening now, but I don't know if I'll be able to be of any help once it is, he knows that my schedule at the school is sporadic at best so I won't be able to set any concrete schedule, but he's open to working with what I got. Question is, what can I do?

We talked (before mention of VISTA) about me actually bein' an assistant manager there for a while, but I couldn't pull that off anymore. I can't even really do weekends because we'll have service projects I'll have...well...technically I don't have to, but I feel obligated to attend...otherwise, why else would I be doing what I'm doing?

I'll have to open up a dialogue with him again and find out what I can't work out.

Other thing is, (which he's aware of), I would have to be paid under the table, there cannot be traces of another source of income while I'm a VISTA.

[King Zarathu]

Just some food for thought--if you feel this guilt and obligation (that reminds me of Christianity, mind you) to do this volunteer work, and not to mention:

I guess sometimes you have to worry less about saving face, and worry more about saving yourself.

Maybe I'm wrong (not really), but maybe this applies in areas such as taking cares of others as well (anything other than "yes" is incorrect)?

I mean, I got up at 3:00 AM (this was a couple years ago) so I could help the Mexicans pour and shovel the concrete for the car wash Dad was building. The only thing I (there were many other things involved, too) really got out of that was:

1) I'm glad I'm not Mexican
2) I'm glad I am intelligent
3) I'm glad I got the experience now to know that I don't want to do this when I'm older

That's right! After doing all of this hard work with Americorps, did you catch those three? There's probably a shitload more that you caught, but why continue to give in to work just because you feel guilty about it? Dude, you're living with your dad and it kills you.

This is my stress relief, my psychological waste, thought material that must be disposed of so that my mind may stay clear and stable.

What about..umm..not having stress, psychological waste, and thought material? Do you have a college degree?

Maybe I just completely misunderstood the situation and you actually are trying to find yourself a way to earn some coin, but when I see things like this:

It kills me...he does support me financially, but that's about it, he doesn't support what I'm doing at all. I feel like it's a charity. I would rather pay rent and buy my own food and him support me emotionally, but he's forsaken.

Metaphorically speaking, of course, how many times can you die? Catch my drift?

Look, guys need to be DOING something, or they get depressed.

I think Giga is right about you needing to keep busier.

Uhh.. I totally and completely ****in' disagree? You have been working your ass off, these enormous amounts of hours, for free. Has anybody even given you a tip here and there for doing something good?

Okay, sure, maybe I'm just a 16 year old prepubescent and immature asshole who has a good 40% of his bills paid for, but I disagree about you needing to be out doing something like that. I honestly suggest you sit down and take a deep meditative breath. Purge that guilt, right then and there dude. There is no reason you should feel guilty over something like that (let me explain--after converting from Catholic to atheist, and telling my parents that I was rejecting my entire family's religion, I learned how bad "guilt" can get--and I hate it).

I could go on, there's too much to say, I don't feel like rereading this to correct the typos.

[Junket]

These are all some very interesting points to consider, I definitely appreciate your input Zath. I'm still in a state of analyzation of my situation, constantly weighing one option against another.

I've been considering coming up with a concrete plan for after my term. Call it guilt, call it comittment, but I can't just up and leave 'cause the goin's gettin' tough. Having a team made it easier to get through last year, and now the bar's been raised (ironically).

One of the many things I learned last year, everything I've done, everything I'm doing, isn't a precursor to life. No, this is life. For too long a time after being repeatedly told "this will prepare you for life" or "wait till you get into the "real" world". How much more real does it get?

If one is to suggest living on one's own, paying one's own bills, sitting in traffic on the way to the same boring job day after day is "real life" than all I have to say to that is, no, it's not.

Not in itself at least. It may be a stage of life, but it's not the only stage. Once I do get out, and start working that stage, there's a fairly high chance that I'll be doin' that for a long time coming, at least I know this task, this challenge I've opted to tackle is finite. It will end August of 2007.

Yes, I've grown impatient with the rate that things are moving along, and it's my fault really. But I now I gotta try to suck it up and do what I pledged to do. God ****ing damn it I survived Jackson, I survived New Orleans, I can ****ing survive at least one year with my dad.

**** this dude, **** it all, I'm doin' this because I chose to, and I'm not gonna ****in' quit now because some doubt filled my mind. I have a goal to achieve and a promise to fulfill.

Regret?

I know I'd regret quitting out now.

[King Zarathu]

If one is to suggest living on one's own, paying one's own bills, sitting in traffic on the way to the same boring job day after day is "real life" than all I have to say to that is, no, it's not.

Office Space was a good movie.

I have a goal to achieve and a promise to fulfill.

Hell yeah! This goal is completely getting through Americorps and finishing it, I assume?

K, if it were me, I would completely it without question. I'm all about the "integrity" and following through with what you say you're going to do. I didn't know that you had promised yourself you would finish, and therefore that would create a justified guilt (solely in my opinion).

I'm doin' this because I chose to

And remember that. Nobody is making you. Hopefully that makes things a tad easier.


Go for it. In my opinion, you shouldn't worry about your dad's bullshit. I mean, do what you need to so he doesn't kick you out on the street, but I wouldn't let his shit get to you.

Best of luck to you.

[King Zarathu]

Oh, and one last thing.... Don't think about how miserable you are now, just think of how happy you'll be when it's all done and over with.

[Junket]

I'm all about the "integrity" and following through with what you say you're going to do.

The AmeriCorps Pledge

I will get things done for America - to make our
people safer, smarter and healthier.
I will bring Americans together to strengthen our communities.
Faced with apathy, I will take action.
Faced with conflict, I will seek common ground.
Faced with adversity, I will persevere.
I will carry this commitment with me this year and beyond.
I am an AmeriCorps member and I will get things done.

[King Zarathu]

"This year and beyond" meaning you should do 2 years and then be done with it?