Advice

[honeysuckle]

The matter concerning my partner is very relevant. If he would stay with me like I want him too that would entail him being the father figure, which would ensure a stable houshold and finances.

This is a relationships forum only. I don't think anyone here can really help with matters regarding pregnancy and preparations for childbirth :\

[vashti]

I think your focus is in a very unhealthy place. If you are actually thinking of keeping this baby, the last thing that should be on your mind is boyfriends. The fact that this is what is occupying your thoughts tells me you have absolutely no idea what is in store for you, and I think perhaps you should consider adopting this baby out. Babies deserve to have two parents who will lavish them with all the love and attention they need, and it seems like your love life is your biggest priority right now.

[Gigabitch]

The matter concerning my partner is very relevant. If he would stay with me like I want him too that would entail him being the father figure, which would ensure a stable houshold and finances.

This is a relationships forum only. I don't think anyone here can really help with matters regarding pregnancy and preparations for childbirth :\

I don't think you can separate the two any longer. They get all tangled up. (I'm divorced and I have a 9-year-old, btw, so I know what I'm talking about.)

IMO, counting on anyone but yourself in this circumstance might be a mistake. If he wants to marry you, start a family (you've got that part covered), and settle down, that's great, but it sounds like you're not even really talking about it. That's a red flag.

Let all the talk about abortion just slide right by. If you decide you want one, that's your choice. I would take you to the clinic myself. If you want to have your baby, I would stand in front of you with a shotgun to defend your right to make YOUR choice about YOUR body. (As long as you're not a crackhead or something, in which case, I would perform the abortion myself without consulting you at all.)

Hear that, everyone? It's HER choice! (Unless she's a drug addict.)

Is anyone else as confused, yet full of conviction about this as I am? And should we move this argument to another thread and stop threadjacking honeysuckle?

[Glyph]

No doubt it's her choice, I don't mean to imply otherwise if I did. She can of course do what she wants.

If I'm offering what I feel is the soundest advice possible, that's what mine would be, at least given a few factors - single? Not very financially independent? Career or no?

By no means do I mean to make it sound like the decision shouldn't be hers and hers alone.

[Glyph]

This is a relationships forum only. I don't think anyone here can really help with matters regarding pregnancy and preparations for childbirth :\

Well, it's a relationships forum, but we're all people and we've all got opinions. I myself have a child, I've been there before and know what kind of work and energy goes into it. Do what you will, I'm just saying it sounds to me like there are more pressing issues at hand. It's hard to offer relationship advice when I think there are other matters that need to be dealt with first before you can really focus on that.

But if you don't think so, hey. S'just my opinion.

[vashti]

How old are you, honeysuckle? And how financially stable are you? Would your parents help you with housing if you decide to keep this baby?

For the record, I've got two kids.

[honeysuckle]

22, not completely and quite low paid (admin) and I'm not sure about parents but they couldn't turn away their grandchild could they?

Your post about not knowing what's in store has depressed me

[vashti]

I'm sorry, sweety. I don't mean to sound discouraging. I was going more for realism.

I think you are in a better position to know about how your parents will react than we are. Can you talk to your mother about this? She knows you better than any of us, and I'm sure she loves you and has your best interests in mind. You are awfully young, and being a parent is an overwhelmingly huge responsibility. I can't imagine doing it at 22 all by myself, and I don't think many boys your age would be willing to accept that kind of responsibility for someone else's baby. You need to know FOR SURE how much help your parents are willing to give, because you need to make some very adult decisions.