How to strike conversations at a restaraunt?

[Illusional]

haha i believe that if that happens, you'll know what you do. obviously you ask for her number, isn't that the entire point of going up and talking to her?? i think you should set up a date after you've talked to her on the phone and you've got a better feel of her personality.

raverboy

[Jimmy1218]

When she's serving you, the first time you get a look at her, pretend you are dazzled and paralyzed, giving her a hint. Then say could i have your phonenumber? Thats the classic movie style way.

But I see lots of holes on your crush with this person cause she might only speak japanese or she might be married. But good luck.

[naoki322]

haha well jimmy the problem is, she doesnt wait tables or brings the food. all she does is bring people to their table and sometimes the check. I know she speaks english though. not very loudly but yeah, pretty sure she knows how to.

[Illusional]

yup, i was about to say that this jimmy character is worse than me when it comes to NOT reading the damn thread.

raverboy

[CAM]

Ah yes, the waitress, the cashier, the hostess, the stewardess...unfortunately, most of the people you meet today are waiting on you or helping you. It sets up the impossible situation.

Friends and relatives regularly call to tell me about the nice young single woman who worked at the store where they shopped. "You should go down and meet her, Cameron!"

Yeah, and then what? I should ask her out while she's weighing my asparagus or scanning the Cream of Wheat box? Or, better still...the bank teller who is all cuddly sweet and smiley...well of course she's smiling, she's looking at my account balance. Give me a break!

Back in college days, everyone was in a community and weren't identified by their roles. Now, we meet most people while they are not just themselves; rather, they are filling a role, doing a job. Very difficult to ask the person to emerge from their role and interact with you as a person...when, in fact, the only reason you are meeting them is because they are working and are interacting with you because that's their job. Even when Mormon sisters come to my door to convert me and save my soul...usually beautiful and nice women...what the heck am I going to do? Say, "Hey Sister Smith, after you are done converting souls for the day, perhaps we could go out for a glass of warm milk?"

So, the waitress...enjoy the eye-candy and your little fantasy and if it makes you feel better, leave a big tip so that she smiles ever more brightly at you...but don't expect much more.

[naoki322]

sorry i just have the biggest urge to say, who pooped in your oatmeal today?

[hitch]

The next time you go in, just tell her you were so nervous the last time that you forgot your standard pickup line and ask her if she'd like to grab a bite with you when her shift ends...

[Illusional]

cam.. just because they are helping you out, it doesn't mean that they don't want to feel attractive too. so what better way to show them attention than to ask for their number??

side note.. a lot of the jobs that you mention, don't work off tips so that always a factor that you have to considered. they aren't being nice to you because they want a larger tip.

raverboy

[CAM]

cam.. just because they are helping you out, it doesn't mean that they don't want to feel attractive too. so what better way to show them attention than to ask for their number??

side note.. a lot of the jobs that you mention, don't work off tips so that always a factor that you have to considered. they aren't being nice to you because they want a larger tip.

Very true. Perhaps I verged from my normal level of cynicism into extreme forms of cyncism

Asking for a number isn't hard to do...I have problems with it not because I'm timid.... It is more of a very rigid personality that sees things in black and white terms...namely, they are at work filling a "role", so I don't personalize the relationship. However, my very rigidity about this distinction means that there is rarely an "acceptable" time for me to actually pursue women.

So, to reiterate...you are right. Go ahead, ask for the poor woman's phone number. A good idea...just one that I wouldn't personally feel comfortable doing.

[CAM]

LOL, Aegis!

Yeah, you can't win with the bank tellers...they know it all. If you have a high account balance, then you know why they are smiling. If you have a low account balance, then you also know.

I think that dating the bank teller would be the equivalent of dating a therapist...ever see that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine dates her therapist? Hillarious. She goes to break up with him and he just looks as her and says, "Elaine, have you been having that dream about a lesbian tryst with a older Chinese woman?" Elaine like totally shriveled on that comment!!!

The bank teller would be the same sort of thing. If you have a wad of cash and she knows it...then, you buy only a half dozen roses on Valentine's Day, she'll be thinking, "****ing cheap bastard! I KNOW he can afford more than that!"