Long-term relationship VS the recent sparks of infatuation

[someone562]

Regarding the physical pain during sex: did you actually attempt intercourse, and were unable to insert? Did your hymen break? (There would have been bleeding.) Some women have thicker-than-average hymens which need to be broken by a physician to allow for normal intercourse.

Thanks for your response vashti... Yes, I did attempt intercourse with my ex and yes he was unable to insert. I'm not sure whether my hymen broke because there was very little bleeding (some drops) but he never was able to penetrate because It hurt so much when he tried (just the tip) I couldn't help screaming. The pain was so horrible I haven't even let my current bf try I feel really really bad for that.

[vashti]

Have you ever seen a gynecologist? You should discuss this with him/her. You may have a medical condition. I mean, it hurts the first time, but generally not so much as to make one scream. Unless perhaps he was ridiculously large?

The bleeding... well, obviously your hymen was broken to some degree. It should be less painful in that event.

[someone562]

Have you ever seen a gynecologist? You should discuss this with him/her. You may have a medical condition. I mean, it hurts the first time, but generally not so much as to make one scream. Unless perhaps he was ridiculously large?

The bleeding... well, obviously your hymen was broken to some degree. It should be less painful in that event.

Vashti:

No, I really have not. I know it's absurd but I'll go with one. He wasn't so large, just normal. And yes, I think my hymen got broken to some degree but I'm almost sure nor completely, that's sometime the gynecologist will be able to tell me...

[vashti]

It would help to rule out if our problem is of a physical or psychological nature...
Anyway, didn't you say you are in your mid 20s? You are overdue to see a gynecologist anyway... You should be looking into the HPV vaccine...

[Mathias]

My ex had that problem (hurt EVERY time we had sex). Please go to a doctor. This is a fairly rare, but treatable issue.

[Only-virgins]

Long-term relationship < sparks of infatuation

[Junket]

Yes we have done things beyond hugging and kissing, like oral sex. But lately I haven't felt desire and that scares me...

Has he tried performing oral on you?

Anyway, massaging and caressing can be are great ways of being physically intimate, but they do require a degree of emotional intimacy. If your boyfriend can be satisfied with "lesser" sex, and not have any expectations beyond it, it can be very pleasurable.

Also, have you tried masturbating yourself? Using your fingers or even a dildo? I would suggest doing these things on your own so there's no timidity or pressure felt with another present.