Need some drastic advice - This one will be long

[vashti]

Vashti, I am not sure that cutting off contact with her is a great idea. But then again, it might be the resolution I am looking for. When we quit talking 9 years ago, I think that is WHY I still think about her. I still had many question that were unanswered. Now that those questions are answered maybe I can accept the fact that we are done. Will cutting off contact put me right back where I was though? Or was this conversation with her possibly the closure I needed? Honestly, I think closure is all I needed.

I guess I think "closure" in overrated. I think of it as a vague, unobtainable goal people make when they don't want to do what they should be doing.

What would you want your wife to do, if she were in your position?

[Gigabitch]

I keep getting that you think you could, in some way, ruin your ex's marriage. Well, rest easy. You couldn't. That should take some of the pressure off. Her marriage is solid. End of story.

As for you getting over it, she's already told you that you can't be messaging her 20 times a day. She's drawing the lines and following the rules. You should follow tham too.