I like her so much.......but how do i deal with this problem?

[nyman]

Then she is, even if indirectly, bringing this friction into the relationship. It's up to you to decide if you're ok with that (and sounds like you are). If so, then what's the big deal? But what's it going to be like if you're still sneaking around with her a month, 6 months, years down the road? We're often willing to put up with issues in the beginning because we're so infatuated. But if not dealt with properly they could really blow up down the line.

You make a great point, if i am going to date her secretly, i run the huge risk of falling for her greatly, and then really being in a horrible situation, because i KNOW that we will have to break up one day, so what kind of future is that?

[sfalexi]

i run the huge risk of falling for her greatly, and then really being in a horrible situation, because i KNOW that we will have to break up one day, so what kind of future is that?

Out of curiousity, why will you HAVE to break up?

[nyman]

Well her father is very very very strict obviously, and the simple fact that i have been dating this girl under his watchful eye would mean automatic hatred towards me. In his eyes She needs no dating because she will eventually be matched up with someone in the same community (and while i am in the same community, i do not posess the wealth standards he would be looking for). Its so old fashioned and ridiculous, but the bottom line is i would NEVER be accepted.

[dragoon]

So what if it is never accepted. Does it have to be? She's an adult, assumingly living in a free country, she can make her own decisions. She just may choose you over her family. You never know. But why give up now? All relationships are in constant danger of ending. I could be offered a killer job that's clear across the country, that'd definitely threaten my relationship with my girlfriend. Doesn't mean we just don't date. Being with someone is always a risk, you just happen to have a risk that's a bit more in the open.

[sfalexi]

So what? You're not dating the father. You're dating HER. Let HER make the decision. Don't think that YOU know what's best for her (else you're just like her father). She may choose to be with you knowing that her parents will eventually come around.

Alexi

[nyman]

No, its really not that way, she cant make her decisions,and family could be the biggest part of the equation when two people get together. She doesnt have a decision to make, girls dont have a decision.

[Pretender]

Where are you from nyman?

[nyman]

New York, LOL, it is just our community that is soooo old fashioned.

[Pretender]

All fathers are very critical of who their daughters date and who is good enough for them. Most of the time NO ONE will be good enough ever for them because they are still his little girls but if this gal really loves you she will choose you in the end if things last and stay healthy. Stick with it.

[nyman]

I wanted to update you guys, and tell you that as of late we have unfortunately been getting into many arguments about this exact issue. None bigger than yesterday (i havent spoken to her since). The thing we usually end up arguing about is not being able to spend ANY time together, and we are both just so frustrated that we take it out an each other, and kind of blame each other for it, when really it isnt our faults. This is so horrible because we both really really like each other, and i can say that i was really falling in love with her. I just wanted to say to you guys thanks a lot for all this help.........

[peshkunta]

Just tell her to either stand up for you or get the hell out this relationship. This girl obviously does not love you if she is letting her parents destroy your relationship - if you can call it that. Oh no, wait, you can't 'cause her parents might hear you. This is totally ridiculous. I would've kicked her to the curb at the first sign of this bs.

[nyman]

Well its sunday, and i still havent spoken to her.....all i know is if we end up breaking up over this stupid thing, i will be absolutely heartbroken. I wouldnt be able to see her again, it would just make things worse.

[Stolen]

My father would die if I knew I had a boyfriend. My parents had an arranged marraige... I understand what it is like to have the pressure of "not being allowd to date"...
And I don't think that ANYONE needs to "approve" of your s.o. as long as YOU care for them. Because it's YOU being with her/him and (*hopefully*) NOT your friends or family... As for owing your life to your parents for having you... That's a load of @#!%