What did you get for Valentines day?

[Only-virgins]

OV I really can't understand how your infatuation has lasted this long. Mine have been like 1.5 years most, I can't even remember anymore

I don't either, but it is either ruining my life...or making me understand more about it than everyone else. I have loved this girl for 10+ years now and people tell me that shit doesn't last? someones lying here.

[anachronistic]

I bought myself a lavalamp!

GO ME!!!!11111111111

[anachronistic]

I got high on V-day. Does that count?

Was Vday on thursday? I drank a 750 of Captain Morgan all by myself. That was a good night.

[bluesummer]

I I have loved this girl for 10+ years now and people tell me that shit doesn't last? someones lying here.

I had a crush on a guy for eight years OV, I know what it's like.

Then he turned into a dickwad and I got over him.

[vashti]

Yes, but you actually had some contact witrh him, bluesummer, right? OV has never really even interacted with this girl. the reason he is so stuck on her is because he is clutching on to his fantasy and makes no real effort to let it go, and it's making him bitter.

[bluesummer]

Whoa whoa....ok. How on earth can you like someone you've never interacted with? You don't know who they are as a person.

I'm confused. Why doesn't he just talk to her so he can get it out of the way one way or another?

[vashti]

Whoa whoa....ok. How on earth can you like someone you've never interacted with? You don't know who they are as a person.

I'm confused. Why doesn't he just talk to her so he can get it out of the way one way or another?

As I recall, he tried, and she chased him off, and now he won't let it go.

[DoesntMatter]

..Did you get maced OV?

[IndiReloaded]

Yes, but you actually had some contact witrh him, bluesummer, right? OV has never really even interacted with this girl. the reason he is so stuck on her is because he is clutching on to his fantasy and makes no real effort to let it go, and it's making him bitter.

This will continue until he finds someone to replace her in his mind. For that reason alone, I hope some of those 'games' he's trying actually works. 10% of something is better than 100% of nothing.

When he does find someone, I don't know whether to be incredibly jealous or afraid for this woman, tho. Its a bit frightening to be loved to the point of obsession. Poke around in that dark space, OV, and figure out why you are so damned attached, would you? You may find if you do that you will also figure out what is holding you back.

[IndiReloaded]

I got to see a recent picture of the girl I am in love with from ten years ago....thus restarting my obsession for my love for her all over again....yeeeeeeeay.

Oh fer crissakes, OV.

[DoesntMatter]

How many times did you beat it out to her pic, OV?

[Only-virgins]

Whoa whoa....ok. How on earth can you like someone you've never interacted with? You don't know who they are as a person.

I'm confused. Why doesn't he just talk to her so he can get it out of the way one way or another?

You can, you can love them never the less. It has been so long that it makes it really complicated to try and talk to her...I tried though but got the cold shoulder I think. Wasn't able to do it face to face because...well...honestly I have barely a clue where she lives now.

This will continue until he finds someone to replace her in his mind. For that reason alone, I hope some of those 'games' he's trying actually works. 10% of something is better than 100% of nothing.

When he does find someone, I don't know whether to be incredibly jealous or afraid for this woman, tho. Its a bit frightening to be loved to the point of obsession. Poke around in that dark space, OV, and figure out why you are so damned attached, would you? You may find if you do that you will also figure out what is holding you back.

Your first sentence is exactly the only solution I see myself as well. I just don't think talking to a girl will ever cause these type of feelings. I don't feel like I am being held back, just pushed to be with people I really don't want to be and not allowed to be with the one person that I do want to be with. It is like a cruel joke. I don't think it would be frightening for a girl if I loved her a lot, I wouldn't be controlling if that is what you are trying to say. I can't figure out why I am so attached other than it has to be love. how come you keeping calling me bitter? I am not bitter. Sad and bitter are two different things and I am not always sad either. Hehe jealous

Oh fer crissakes, OV.

What?

[IndiReloaded]

What?

Well, you can't control your feelings for this girl, understood. But you can control your own actions & what you do to protect yourself from those feelings. B/c they really are destructive for you, on so many levels. You are trying to find someone new right now, trying out some new methods for finding her. Doing things that restimulate those feelings will only undermine your current efforts. If looking at her photos hurts, then don't. Its very logical, something I know you understand.

Re: calling you bitter. I don't think I've used that word often, I know others have tho. In my case, if I did use it I think it came from statements where you tend to generalize your disappointment over this girl as writing off all girls. That's a circular, inescapable feedback loop that won't help you break the cycle. Bitterness comes from feeling helpless. You aren't helpless, you have TONS going for you.

[Only-virgins]

Well, you can't control your feelings for this girl, understood. But you can control your own actions & what you do to protect yourself from those feelings. B/c they really are destructive for you, on so many levels. You are trying to find someone new right now, trying out some new methods for finding her. Doing things that restimulate those feelings will only undermine your current efforts. If looking at her photos hurts, then don't. Its very logical, something I know you understand.

Re: calling you bitter. I don't think I've used that word often, I know others have tho. In my case, if I did use it I think it came from statements where you tend to generalize your disappointment over this girl as writing off all girls. That's a circular, inescapable feedback loop that won't help you break the cycle. Bitterness comes from feeling helpless. You aren't helpless, you have TONS going for you.

Well, I really appreciate your help and opinion. The way you respond with honest help makes me think you like me haha. Though I think people make this sound a lot less complicated than it is. I can see how it may look from someone else's perspective. The I have to say that pretending to be in a happy long term relationship while thinking about someone else would be kind of cruel for someone else...I guess I almost rather play games and just go for the quickies as they put it. Why can't I get that feeling for some other girl I mean? why doesn't it work anymore? I don't understand why I should be protecting myself from love, shouldn't I be embracing it? her too?

How many times did you beat it out to her pic, OV?

None, for some reason It wouldn't feel right.

[Junket]

The I have to say that pretending to be in a happy long term relationship while thinking about someone else would be kind of cruel for someone else...

If you're not giving anyone else an honest chance, then of course the only person you'll only ever think about is this one girl.

Look at it similar to the no contact thing. Just because a person have discontinued contact with their ex, doesn't necessarily mean they're suddenly happy go lucky without them. I think you might need to relearn to appreciate another person. Like a new puppy to replace an old dog.