forget her

[Gigabitch]

I hear ether is very effective. Put some on a washcloth and press it up to his nose and mouth for a while. He won't think about her at all for a while.

[Tedel]

Are you suggesting that it's in any way her fault that he cheated?

No, I am not suggesting it, I am saying it.

Now, listen, don't get me wrong. A man who is fully in love doesn't even contemplate the possibility of cheating. I know it because I am a man. If he cheated there must be a small —no matter how tiny— component of neglection in any part of the relationship. I am saying she has her share there, and that she should look for it too.

To wrap things up, it's always easy to say "he cheated because he is a pig", but there are almost always underlying reasons.

I think HE failed HER as a loving, faithful partner.

That is very sad and very true, yet it doesn't annul what I'm stating above. Anyway, I agree with the other posts: If he does it again, the next word to say is divorce.

[vashti]

Tedel, I normally find your advice to be sound, but this time you are WAY off mark. Not all men are like you. Some men are just the cheating type. (Some women are, too.) They are hooked on the drama and emotions that surround being with someone new.

Original poster - if your husband is a romance junkie in need of excessive amounts of female attention, get rid of him NOW before you get yourself knocked up.

[Tedel]

OK, if that's what you think, I'll just stop commenting on this one, Vashti.

[vashti]

Aww, our first disagreement.

Let's kiss and make up.

[Tedel]

Don't worry, I'm not upset. Thinking it twice, you were right this time. I admit my mistake, like a gentleman must do.

Anyway, we're both young and sound, so we'll have more diagreements sooner or later. A cup of coffee one of these days?

[IndiReloaded]

A man who is fully in love doesn't even contemplate the possibility of cheating. I know it because I am a man. If he cheated there must be a small —no matter how tiny— component of neglection in any part of the relationship. I am saying she has her share there, and that she should look for it too.

Well, Ted, for one thing its what Vash said. Some ppl are prone to cheat. Tho I suppose caveat emptor (buyer beware) would apply in these cases.

Second, your point above doesn't allow for any role of the man in this. Mbe she neglected him, mbe because he neglected her. These things are rarely one sided.

What is a problem, tho, is the fact that her partner who has *promised* to be faithful has broken that vow. There are classier ways to deal with this than cheating behind someone's back. Getting a divorce first, for instance. Or being upfront w/one's partner that there are issues & getting counsellling.

For myself, I wouldn't care about the extra marital sex per se. It would be the inability to communicate, and the disrespect of going behind my back that would be the death knell of the marriage for me. Marriage is supposed to be one of the closest, most trusting relationships one can have with another human. Once someone breaches that trust, they are no different from any other random human. This is not only true for sex, btw, it holds for other responsibilities as well.

To the OP, whatever your responsibility in your marital problems, and I'm sure there are some, you are NOT responsible for his cheating. He made that choice all by himself. He could have found a better, less destructive way to express himself.

[vashti]

Don't worry, I'm not upset. Thinking it twice, you were right this time. I admit my mistake, like a gentleman must do.

Anyway, we're both young and sound, so we'll have more diagreements sooner or later. A cup of coffee one of these days?

Sure, next time you are in the neighborhood, just drop in.