Thoughts on taking bastard boyfriend back?

[vashti]

He could have many other girls but he chose me so I feel like it was meant to be all along. .

this makes you sound like you think you should be grateful.

[misombra]

would you like me to look into my crystal ball?

[Junket]

Thank you for your thoughts. I really honestly feel like we have gone through so much already and that he wouldn't have come back to me if he didn't really love me. He could have many other girls but he chose me so I feel like it was meant to be all along.

It's better you two get back together.

I wouldn't want either of you degrading any more of the gene pool with your idiocy.

[kabee]

He was probably planning on breaking up with that girl anyways. If he's serious about loving you, he'll wait for you to come around but it seems like he's a flirt. Don't let him mess with your emotions like that. I say stay clear of him so that you can move on to better relationships.

[IndiReloaded]

I have a feeling you're not going to listen to most posters here who seem to be saying 'don't'.

So, all I would suggest is make sure you understand BEFORE you take him back what your dealbreakers are for a relationship. Because, right now, your values are basically a moving target based on someone else's actions, instead of your own internal beliefs.

As for this:

I really think it is true love and that I will never find someone else I could love as much as I love him.

How on earth can you know this^? Based on what experience? Be very clear with yourself on what you WANT to be true & what actually IS.

Good luck.

[Only-virgins]

You know, the thing about that "spark" you have for someone is that it is ALWAYS mutual. I don't know how the brain does it, but it does. Pheromones I think. So if he doesn't have it, you just think you do and probably don't...or he is avoiding it on purpose.

[Mish]

How on earth can you know this^? Based on what experience? Be very clear with yourself on what you WANT to be true & what actually IS.

It's low self esteem Indi. I know people like this. They implant in their heads this ridiculous idea that they will never be able to find something better than target x because of their perceived low value thus their only choice (and purpose in life) is to pursue x in any way possible. They will take as much punishment and humiliation as x is willing to throw at them without any boundaries or internal standards until such point in time where x gets tired of walking all over them and leaves of own accord for something perceived as better leaving their partner completely oblivious as to why this has happened.

It's very unfortunate that it has to be this way with some people. Very sad actually.

[bluesummer]

I really honestly feel like we have gone through so much already and that he wouldn't have come back to me if he didn't really love me. He could have many other girls but he chose me so I feel like it was meant to be all along.

NO NO NO. He keeps coming back to you because you are weak and you LET him. When he finds something else, he will leave you again. You will most likely keep taking him back, since you've set the precedent, he knows this.......you'll always be his BACK UP.

Yes I think we can have a great future together. I do not think I can trust him to be faithful to me but I think I will allow him to have sex with other people because I don't think he would be faithful otherwise. But I see us getting married and having a happy life together.

How does having a great future and a happy life include him sleeping with other people? Do you really think you are going to be okay with this?!? Do you really think you deserve this? Why would you not want to be with someone you know will be loyal to you? It's almost as if you have no self worth.

He has changed a lot and has apologized many times for what he did and says it will not happen again. I know logically or rationally it may seem that he is not a good guy, I know him very well and I think he is a good person, he just is a little confused sometimes but he cannot be blamed for that.

All BS my dear. You sound like you're trying to convince yourself he is a good guy. He is not. Of course everyone has their redeeming points, but those few good things about him should not be enough to overlook the bad points.

Nobody has had a positive experience in a situation like this? Maybe I will be the first...

No, why would anyone have a positive experience in this situation? Even YOU aren't having a positive experience. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean they will change for you. Loving someone doesn't automatically mean they feel the same way in return. And all the love in the world can't make a bad man treat you well.

I'm talking from experience here. There are better men out there. You need to learn something about the definition of love....most importantly how to love YOURSELF first and foremost. No one will ever show you love or respect if you don't love or respect yourself, plain and simple.

[Gigabitch]

That's not love, Shortie. That's mental illness. If you had any friends or family that gave a damn about you they would forbid you from ever seeing or communicating with that scumbag again because he is a terrible excuse for a man.

Clearly you don't have anyone in your life that gives a damn about you, though, or you wouldn't be so broken-down that you would accept the treatment you've been offered by this asshat. You've obviously been raised to think badly of yourself. I'd like to have a harsh word with your mother.

You've wasted years of your life on this disgusting pig, and you have no idea what you're missing. What you've described is not love at all, but an obsessive infatuation that has gotten in the way of any possibility you had of having a decent boyfriend.

Listen up: there are over three billion men on this planet. That's a lot of potential. Could you at least try to find a guy with some measure of personal integrity before you lay down on the floor in front of Pig Man again?

[Junket]

Wow, you guys are so much nicer than me.

[Gigabitch]

I see her as a "bad risk but not too late" poster. If she actually takes him back, I promise to amuse you with my indignant censure of her.

[Junket]

I see her as a "bad risk but not too late" poster. If she actually takes him back, I promise to amuse you with my indignant censure of her.

I'm down.

Proceed with positive emotional support and constructive criticism.

[Mish]

Somehow I don't think she'll be coming back.

The decision has been made. I think she'll opt out to learn the hard way.

[Junket]

Yep, idiots tend to stop coming back once they realize how dumb they are. They don't like to be reminded of how inept they are at relationships.

Ironic considering they'd take that kind of abuse from their "one and only's".

[Gigabitch]

Maybe we're just not phrasing it correctly. How about this:

"I gave some advice to this other cutie in another thread. iI sure wish you knew how to take advice like that, but you're just not open enough. Hey, I think I want to have a more open forum, so I can give advice to anybody I feel like, any time. If you really cared, you'd be okay with this."