how to let go....??? help!!!

[Gigabitch]

you gave great advice but...he now claims that because i was kissed by another guy, i must have "cheated on him many more times" which is completely untrue.

Um, didn't you volunteer the information about the kissing in the first place? How does it follow, then, that you cheated many times?

Are you sure you want to be with a guy whose thought process is so muddled?

[blues414]

a guy kissed me and i pushed him away. if anything, i did the right thing. i dont know what else to say or do.

[blues414]

exactly! i didnt even have to tell him what happened! but i did....and he doesnt even believe me.

[blues414]

i think i just need advice to get over him... i need to resist picking up the phone to call him. i need help...please. i cant stop crying.

[blues414]

hello all
i recently posted about a whole confusnig situation, read " how to let go" if you don't understand...
and im really trying to do it, because i'm becoming fed up with the entire situation.
i just want to know...i guess it may just be something i have to get over, but how to get that gut wrenching feeling out of your stomach when you think about the fact that your ex could be with another girl at this exact moment...he says he will wait a while before getting into anything with any girl but...sometimes i'll be doing fine and then i'll think about it and i get sick all over again...yesterday we talked and he was watching a movie with a girl in his room at uni and i felt so sick...before we broke up he said this girl was like a little brother to him and is "definitely not attractive" and he has no interest in her..and i do believe him, he is an honest person, ill give him that...i just want to not care when he says that he is watching a movie with a girl, or when we talk and i hear girls in the background. it's not my place to care anymore...is it just something i'll have to get use to?
thanks guys!

[Gigabitch]

You have to let this heal exactly as you would a physical injury. If you had a broken arm, you wouldn't ask "How to suck it up and make my arm stop hurting"?, would you? Of course not.

So be patient with yourself. Treat yourself like an emotional recovery patient for a while. You'll feel better.

[blues414]

sorry for writing so many posts on here. you guys have just helped me a lot.
i think you all know my situation "how to let go, etc." but long story short i was told by my ex-boyfriend to wait for him and maybe we would get back together one day. anyways, i didnt want to wait anymore because i didnt want him to come back and be like "sorry i dont want to" so yesterday i called him and said i wanted to talk on my lunch break and id call in an hour. i called and we were talking but i couldnt bring myself to say it. fear of him saying "thats fine" fear of him not caring...i just froze up. and then mid way into convo he was like "i dont think you should wait anymore. all hope is basically out of the window and i'm falling out of love with you" that hurt me SO bad. i didnt know you could fall out of love in 1 week... so i said "this is exactly why i wanted to call you, but i just couldn't do it. thank you so much" i didnt say it in a rude bitchy way, it was civilized. now i just have to stop myself from picking up the phone when im crying and getting over the fact that he said he was falling out of love with me. how do i resist picking up the phone? it's the one thing i'm having so much trouble with. i've already called this morning to apologize for hanging up with him and telling him that i do hope we can be good friends one day. and he agreed. but i still can't believe he's already falling out of love with me and i just wish he never told me that....
thanks everyone

[bluesummer]

Well, you wanted to stop waiting for him right? The best thing can happen is that you start to detach and move on.....he is, and you need to do this too.

It hurts to hear someone say they are no longer in love with you, but that should give you the motivation to start moving on. Now that you know you don't have to sit around and wait, you can start looking ahead. Be positive. There is lots to look forward to.

[Tommy]

Can't be friends... Sorry aint gonna happen unless your feelings were mutual in the "not loving him anymore" department. As long as you have feelngs for him you CANNOT be his friend...

You MUST not talk to him..... My ex called me today... I didn't answer... I haven't called her since she broke up with me. She always calls me.. I got nothing to say to her. I'm sick of being hurt, aren't you?

[blues414]

definitely sick. but i didnt just lose a boyfriend, i lost a best friend. it sucks, such a crappy feeling. but im trying my hardest to move forward... and i can't wait for the day that i honestly feel like i'm 100% over it :-)
thanks guys for your words of advice

[blues414]

ive posted about 3 or 4 messages about this situation... i got a call from a friend last night saying my ex had been cheating on me for quite some time at university. i found this kind've hard to believe because my ex was never like that. i was his first girlfriend and his mother cheated on his father when he was younger, and he just thought it was the most disgusting thing in the world. i got another call saying he has been hooking up with someone ever since we broke up....he promised he'd wait a month before dating/hooking up and he even said "i couldnt go hooking up with another girl, i still love you" he's been sleeping at a different residence every night since we broke up, and it's the residence with the girl he's supposedly cheating on. i called to ask and he swore on his mother's life these things weren't true,but he was getting mad at me for asking. he was like "whatever, believe what you want i dont care."
what do i believe? what do i do? I FEEL SO SICK, has he been lying to me this whole time? how could he hook up with someone so quickly? IM SO UPSET! please, advice ASAP!!!

[MadKat]

i called to ask and he swore on his mother's life these things weren't true,but he was getting mad at me for asking. he was like "whatever, believe what you want i dont care."
what do i believe? what do i do? I FEEL SO SICK, has he been lying to me this whole time? how could he hook up with someone so quickly? IM SO UPSET! please, advice ASAP!!!

He's right u know. You can believe what you want to believe.
If you still want to hang on the thin hope, then you will suffer more OR you can use this "info" as a platform for you to move on. I'm not asking you to lost hope or faith, but put this situation out of your mind. Carry on with your life, then hopes and faith will eventually come knocking on your door.

[blues414]

the girl told me everything. they've been seeing eachother/having sex. i think it started almost a week before he even broke up with me. and he talks badly about me to her. can you guys believe this? maybe some will say i deserved this but im sorry, i really dont think i did.

[lesa]

the girl told me everything. they've been seeing eachother/having sex. i think it started almost a week before he even broke up with me. and he talks badly about me to her. can you guys believe this? maybe some will say i deserved this but im sorry, i really dont think i did.

You do not deserve this happening to you. However, a man that talks negative about his ex, is not a man you deserve. It's not a good sign of a great boyfriend. Hopefully his new girlfriend will eventually dump him for his negative personality.

[Shortips]

I'm sorry you're hurting. Things will eventually get better.

In my experience in order to get over a break up , you have to:
1. Rid your environment of reminders - They will only act as triggers to think about him...out of sight, out of mind...

2. Try to do fun things - watch your favorite film on video, go for a run or call a friend. You know the kind of things I mean...the simple, and quick to do ones are the best. Anything to get your mind off him and the break up.

Shortips.com