Really?

[Cain]

That would irritate me and seem disingenuous after the first couple of days, though...

I think that'd bother you more simply because you don't think you're ugly. She does.

The only thing I want to avoid is her not realizing when a guy has feelings for her until it's too late so that she can avoid it. She's terrified of certain situations because of things that have happened. She's had someone stalk her and been nearly raped once when she first got to college. She's too kind hearted to know that people aren't full of nice.

[misombra]

I think that'd bother you more simply because you don't think you're ugly. She does.

The only thing I want to avoid is her not realizing when a guy has feelings for her until it's too late so that she can avoid it. She's terrified of certain situations because of things that have happened. She's had someone stalk her and been nearly raped once when she first got to college. She's too kind hearted to know that people aren't full of nice.

she's going to have to learn those things on her own.

that she's beautiful, and when somebody is hitting on her.

you guys are very young people, and have many more lessons and experiences ahead of you then behind you. you need to have a little patience.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEzuC5UoM8g"]YouTube - Guns N' Roses - Patience[/ame]

[Cain]

I am patient. I know it's going to take time for her to finally believe she's beautiful. The only thing I want her to do is not assume that guys don't find her attractive. I'm not talking about little things to learn from like "Oh, look, a guy is hitting on me at the bar." I'm talking about "hey, look, this guy is trying to get in my pants and won't stop even though I tell him no. I didn't think he liked me so I hung out with him without anyone around."

That's all. I can't be there right now and she's already had serious emotional problems because of past incidents and I don't want them happening again. I know she won't cheat and I know she won't give off any flirtatious vibes. I don't have to worry about it too much, luckily, because she usually never hangs out with guys unless females are around. I just want her to open her eyes a little.

Plus, she never hangs out with any guys unless I know about it and I approve. For example, a friend of hers is getting married in a few weeks. Some guy asked her to be his date for it. He has a gf and she knows him, so she'd have done it if I was fine with it and she wasn't coming to visit me (we had already made plans for her to see me that weekend) just so she could be at her friend's wedding. I trust her... but like I said... I want her to be more aware. I just don't trust other guys.

[misombra]

well then why are you worried about it?

[Cain]

well then why are you worried about it?

All I said is I just want her to be more aware just in case.

Do I have to go to *wherever you live* and stab you in the leg with a fork? Cause I will!

[misombra]

that's about all you can do about to help your problem!

then you'll worry about me having to get a tetanus shot rather than worrying about your girl being accosted by other guys against her will.

[Cain]

that's about all you can do about to help your problem!

then you'll worry about me having to get a tetanus shot rather than worrying about your girl being accosted by other guys against her will.

But... but... then I can just use the fork on the guy too?

In all seriousness though, the point of the post was asking about whether I did the right thing trying to get her to be more aware so she never gets put into a bad position again... not because she'll make the wrong decision, but because a guy might be too forceful.

[misombra]

yeah, but that's really all you can do about it. sorry cain.

if a guy is too forceful, then she needs to defend herself. but if he's just coming in for a kiss, she could say something like, "i'm not interested in you like that" or whatever.

if a guy is stalking her then she needs to call up dm's sister and have her go over there and make some bodies turn cold.

[Cain]

yeah, but that's really all you can do about it. sorry cain.

if a guy is too forceful, then she needs to defend herself. but if he's just coming in for a kiss, she could say something like, "i'm not interested in you like that" or whatever.

if a guy is stalking her then she needs to call up dm's sister and have her go over there and make some bodies turn cold.

If I disappear one day without warning, then just assume I'm in jail.

[misombra]

don't worry, i'll bail you out.

or just come over and i'll hide you.

[Cain]

don't worry, i'll bail you out.

or just come over and i'll hide you.

Woohoo!

Then I'll feel like a real outlaw!

[misombra]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhsgdAKViT0&feature=related"]YouTube - S.P.M. Wiggy Wiggy[/ame]

[shh!]

Misombra, is that a new saying in your signature? I don't usually bother to read them, but I noticed yours... I like it.

[misombra]

it's new. it's from one of the stories in arabian nights. i liked it.

[IndiReloaded]

Cain, I think you should get a couple books from the library about Assertiveness vs. Aggressiveness. It sounds like she's not sure about the difference.

[url]http://www.amazon.com/dp/0451165225?tag=nononsenseselfde&camp=14573&creativ e=327641&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=0451165225&adid =0QKH206P6W2QW31YSSCF&[/url]