how does a girl deal with unavailable guys?

[Mish]

OP, "All the good guys are taken," just seems like a way to rationalize away the icky feelings associated with going after someone else's man.

To me it sounds more like deep seated personal insecurities. Lack of self motivation to go out looking combined with self esteem issues ussually rationalize the datings scene in this way.

.so i am thinking if it is a good idea to be just friends with them...and they will figure out whether they seriously want to be with me or not.....at the same time, i will keep on looking for other available good guys... is this feasible??

I think this is your best option. Don't do anything you will regret.

[IndiReloaded]

Cam, Cain's just having a MAJOR male-PMS session b/c I and others here have been riding him about his uber-conservative view on things.

I think he finally went & looked up the definition of hyperbole & he's liking it.

[IndiReloaded]

Celine, why are you letting a taken guy drive you to the beach & grocery shopping? Was his GF with you? Doesn't that seem odd to you?

[celine]

Cain, first of all, you are a jerk!

second, i pity you...you are single for a reason; if you are taken, your gf is crazy...

good luck with your mental healing process..

[Aegis]

He's just having a bit of an over-reaction to some overwhelming opposition to some of his more conservative views, so he's doing the excessive sarcasm bit. He's generally not this annoying.

[lastwish]

If you are young, there are plenty of available and single guys. So, why bother with the unavailable ones?

[Asparagoose]

If you are young, there are plenty of available and single guys. So, why bother with the unavailable ones?

Maybe she feels it's the emotionally safer thing to do. That was she won't risk getting attached or hurt? She just wants to see or test if they would do anything to compromise their relationship just for her? Wants to see if these guys would dump their current gf's just to be with her? Low self-esteem in need of an ego boost?

Or maybe most of the available and single guys around her have been losers and wimpy unattractive types. Maybe that's the image and feeling she has in her head when she hears or finds out that a guy is available or single. Maybe those guys immediately seem unattractive, whereas the unavailable guys seem more attractive?

I'm with lastwish on this one though. There's a wealth of available and single guys out there which are more than dating quality. The challenge is to get them off their PSP or Nintendo DS, or to pry that brainy book or periodical out of their hand just long enough to hold a good conversation with them.

Stay clear of unavailable guys. You'll either find yourself in trouble or end up getting hurt.

[celine]

Celine, why are you letting a taken guy drive you to the beach & grocery shopping? Was his GF with you? Doesn't that seem odd to you?

yes..when i think back, it did seem odd...but it was a group get-together for his new fireplace... i happened to show up earlier than others..so he said we should go to the beach to pick up some wood for the fireplace..then he drove around..and then said he really had to buy some food for breakfast..

so I thought it may just friend thing...friends can do this, right? I went with him because I am afraid I read into it too much and think too much...maybe it is just simple friend thing??

[celine]

If you are young, there are plenty of available and single guys. So, why bother with the unavailable ones?

not so young...I am 26

[celine]

I never plan to make a move or anything...and I will not...

I am in a small town...guys are not that many...available guys are fewer...good available guys are even fewer...

[celine]

just be friends with them, is this too much??? what are typically couple things that i should stay away from? (yes..sexual relationship, i know this..any other things? if what we talk are all pure friend-type, does it matter if we do somthing that seems like couple things? say go to see a movie together?

[Cain]

As long as you don't cross any boundaries, doing anything that friends do should be fine.

Certain things, however, should be avoided... such as being over at his house alone with him at 2am.

[Mish]

just be friends with them, is this too much??? what are typically couple things that i should stay away from? (yes..sexual relationship, i know this..any other things? if what we talk are all pure friend-type, does it matter if we do somthing that seems like couple things? say go to see a movie together?

Celine, these guys are both with their partners. Avoid anything you would ask your partner to avoid if you weren't single. Would you be okay with your bf hanging out and seeing movies with a girl he is extra friendly with? Look at it from perspective of their partners, this will set the stage for what's appropriate and what's not.