please help me

[lesa]

Just know that you are working against the odds. Most people your (our) age that got married felt the same way you did... before they divorced.

Eek. I wasn't expecting that. Shh! posted a link to a website to stats on divorce and age of marriage. People in their twenties had a very high chance of divorce...That's insane. The chance of divorce decreased drastically for those who married in their thirties. That is my goal if I find someone worthy of marriage.

[Cain]

Eek. I wasn't expecting that. Shh! posted a link to a website to stats on divorce and age of marriage. People in their twenties had a very high chance of divorce...That's insane. The chance of divorce decreased drastically for those who married in their thirties. That is my goal if I find someone worthy of marriage.

I think the divorce rates are lower as you get older because you feel stuck. You feel like you're not getting any younger and you might not be able to find someone before you become undesirable. When you're in your 20s, you know you still have plenty of time.

[Cain]

Plus, those stats are 18 years old.

[shh!]

[url]http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm[/url]

I think people who are young get divorced because they don't know that they aren't finished growing up, and have no clue what the "adult self" will want or need. Older people have the benefit of knowing themselves better, and therefore make better selections in mates.

Anyway, the divorce rates have remained pretty consistent, although I believe they are higher than average for military people. But feel free to take your chances. Just don't get pregnant.

[Cain]

[url]http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm[/url]

I think people who are young get divorced because they don't know that they aren't finished growing up, and have no clue what the "adult self" will want or need. Older people have the benefit of knowing themselves better, and therefore make better selections in mates.

Anyway, the divorce rates have remained pretty consistent, although I believe they are higher than average for military people. But feel free to take your chances. Just don't get pregnant.

I just have a hard time believing that most people are doomed for divorce if they get married around 22.

I'm more likely to believe that people are just immature at 22 and mistake a hot lay with love.

[lesa]

I just have a hard time believing that most people are doomed for divorce if they get married around 22.

I'm more likely to believe that people are just immature at 22 and mistake a hot lay with love.

How could you disagree with divorce and marriage of early 20's y/o but feel that people in their 30's stay married because they 'feel stuck' and 'undesirable'. Does that sound logical to you? Some of those married people in their 20's divorced in their 30's. Would they not become undesirable with the logic you presented? I didn't know life was so gloomy once we reach our 30's, lol.

Let analyze the life stages of 20's y/o vs. 30's y/o. Isn't that what it is really about?

There is no need to get upset with statistics.

[lesa]

I just have a hard time believing that most people are doomed for divorce if they get married around 22.

I'm more likely to believe that people are just immature at 22 and mistake a hot lay with love.

It's just statistics. It's up to you to 'defy' them. There are so many poor reasons IMO that young 20's y/o married...it would take several pages to discuss.

I know that I do not want to marry in my twenties. I feel no real reason to but that is my personal decision on how I want to live my life.

[lesa]

Plus, those stats are 18 years old.

Do you want to make a bet that those stats are better or worse now?

[Cain]

We need more in depth stats, such as how many of those 20 year olds get divorced before they reach 30. How many of those 30 and 40 year olds end up remarrying as opposed to divorced 20 year olds.

[lesa]

We need more in depth stats, such as how many of those 20 year olds get divorced before they reach 30. How many of those 30 and 40 year olds end up remarrying as opposed to divorced 20 year olds.

[url]http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml[/url]

Median age at first marriage: Males: 26.9; Females: 25.3
Median age at first divorce: Males: 30.5; Females: 29
Median age at second marriage: Males: 34; Females: 32
Median age at second divorce: Males: 39.3; Females: 37
Median duration of first marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.8 years; Females: 7.9 years
Median duration of second marriages that end in divorce: Males: 7.3 years; Females: 6.8 years
Median number of years people wait to remarry after their first divorce: Males: 3.3 years; Females: 3.1 years
Percentage of married people who reach their 5th, 10th, and 15th anniversaries: 5th: 82%; 10th: 65%; 15th: 52%
Percentage of married people who reach their 25th, 35th, and 50th anniversaries: 25th: 33%; 35th: 20%; 50th: 5%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 25: Males: 32%; Females: 50%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 35: Males: 77%; Females: 84%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 45: Males: 87%; Females: 90%
Percentage of people who have ever been married by the age of 55: Both males and females: 95%
Number of unmarried couples living together: 5.5 million
Percentage of unmarried couples living together that are male-female unions: 89%

I do not think there are any good stats on the divorce rate.

[Cain]

So, by the looks of it, even those that got married in their 30s barely made it longer than those that got married in their 20s.

[lesa]

So, by the looks of it, even those that got married in their 30s barely made it longer than those that got married in their 20s.

If your first marriage ended in divorce then you are basically screwed according to the stats here. All subsequent marriages will end in an even faster divorce.

It does not show first marriages of 30 y/o. They averaged the ages. However, I have read elsewhere that if your first marriage was later such as in 30's you have a lower stat of divorcing.

[Cain]

And I'm still waiting for someone to disprove my theory that divorce rates are lower for 30 and 40 year olds because they feel like they've reached their peak and are afraid that if they get divorced, they'll not find another.

[lesa]

And I'm still waiting for someone to disprove my theory that divorce rates are lower for 30 and 40 year olds because they feel like they've reached their peak and are afraid that if they get divorced, they'll not find another.

I would like to read up on it too. I am very curious.

Your theory may be correct...but then the theory on 20 y/o marrying and having higher divorce rate may also be correct.

Here is something interesting (and very disconcerting) on first marriages:

[url]http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats37.htm[/url]

Percentage of "very happy" first marriages (self-described) in the United States

▪ 54% in 1976

▪ 38% in 1996

We can deduce that since second, third, etc. marriages can end in faster divorce, according to the stats provided, that your theory can easily be assumed as generally false. Would you agree? Do they seem to be afraid of divorcing in these stats?

[Cain]

I think that people are "falling" for each other and getting married too quickly regardless of age. I know of someone in my nursing program that met a guy online in May, get engaged in June, and got married in July. She's probably in her 40s. Is that more acceptable than this guy getting married to a girl he's dated for nearly 3 years even though he's only 21?