How to Strike Conversations on Public Bus

[misombra]

well, practice makes perfect.

[starbuck]

Can we just for a second, reflect on the fact that a public bus isn't exactly the greatest place to try and pick up a girl/guy?

[Henry123]

well, practice makes perfect.

Yeah thats my goal. Sometimes its so frustrating. Sometimes I wish I wasnt born.

[starbuck]

Yeah thats my goal. Sometimes its so frustrating. Sometimes I wish I wasnt born.

Don't get down on yourself, Henry. Have you thought about getting counselling for your social anxiety? You could possibly find a therapist who could give you exercises to help you conquer this.

I also think you need to pick easier places to meet people, like a party or a coffee shop. The people in these places will probably be more relaxed and more likely be receptive to a conversation starter.

[misombra]

this song's for you, henry...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI"]YouTube - Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody[/ame]

[miSSleepy]

Henry, i remember compiling a list of sources for you to read about communication and social interaction; I remember alot of people giving you advice.
You're back here again, asking the same questions. My conclusion: reading about it doesn't work. You have to just do it and learn from your mistakes.

[Henry123]

Don't get down on yourself, Henry. Have you thought about getting counselling for your social anxiety? You could possibly find a therapist who could give you exercises to help you conquer this.

I have been seeing a therapist. It has been a slow progress and life seems to pass by so fast.

[Henry123]

Henry, i remember compiling a list of sources for you to read about communication and social interaction; I remember alot of people giving you advice.
You're back here again, asking the same questions. My conclusion: reading about it doesn't work. You have to just do it and learn from your mistakes.

At times its just seems like I'm spinning on a tread mill progressing no where.

[starbuck]

I have been seeing a therapist. It has been a slow progress and life seems to pass by so fast.

Does your therapist give you exercises? Like homework? I believe that, like Sleepy says, conquering a social phobia has more to do with taking actions that overcome this fear.

[Henry123]

Does your therapist give you exercises? Like homework? I believe that, like Sleepy says, conquering a social phobia has more to do with taking actions that overcome this fear.

Yes she does give me exercises. I go out with a friend who understands my situation and do things that normally I wouldnt do. It is anxiety provoking I must admit.
Just when I feel I have accomplish something the next week I am unable to do it again and the anxiety takes over. I have also obessive compulsive disorder and certain thoughts just keep playing around and around in my head. I try not to think about the thoughts. Sometimes I win. Sometimes it wins. I generally try to sleep over it so that it doesnt keep bothering me. Its a horrible thing. I tend to think of the worst case scenarios alot (like people all hate me or she doesnt like me).

[starbuck]

Ah so maybe your therapist told you to talk to people on a bus? Now it makes sense!

If you keep at it, I'm almost sure that you will get to a place where social activity is longer anxiety-producing. Someday it might even be fun for you. You're doing the right thing by going to counseling and actively trying to overcome it. Some people never even seek help for these kinds of problems and just end up totally miserable.

Just try not to be so hard on yourself though. It may not happen overnight, like alot of things we want to change about ourselves. So it is best to be patient with yourself, and also celebrate the accomplishments you've made along the way.

[Henry123]

Ah so maybe your therapist told you to talk to people on a bus? Now it makes sense!

If you keep at it, I'm almost sure that you will get to a place where social activity is longer anxiety-producing. Someday it might even be fun for you. You're doing the right thing by going to counseling and actively trying to overcome it. Some people never even seek help for these kinds of problems and just end up totally miserable.

Just try not to be so hard on yourself though. It may not happen overnight, like alot of things we want to change about ourselves. So it is best to be patient with yourself, and also celebrate the accomplishments you've made along the way.

Yeah she tells me to talk to everyone. Even just saying "Hi" to strangers gets my anxiety going.
Its partly because I have this weird eye contact phobia thing. Its okay if I know the person a little.
Yeah I will try not to be hard on myself. Thanks starbuck.

(You know I use to have a friend whose last name was "starbuck" pretty funny huh!)

[all alone]

buses are a tough situation imo. With every1 plugged into ipods or chatting on the phone, conversations on a bus are much harder to start up then years ago