I got dumped

[shh!]

I'm very sorry, charlieboy. I know you really cared for her. I wish I had something really helpful to say that would cheer you up, but I don't.

I have to get up very early, so I'm turning in now. I'll catch you tomorrow maybe...

Hang in there.

[ecojeanne]

Ye Charlie, its always difficult when people have been apart like you have been with Kristin. It does really test relationships. In the long run it’s probably for the best. I sound harsh when I say this but I think she would have held you back eventually ….even if she’s as cool as you say she is. Uni is a stepping stone to what you’ll become. Look forward to that and it is more fun to be single in Uni. I’m sorry to hear you broke up, I thought originally wow she’s a very easy going gf …..and she may be in lots of other ways. But you can’t let her stop you from going to whatever Uni you want. Good luck Charlie.

[misombra]

ah i'm so sorry charlieboy.

i don't know what to say either. i can definitely understand where she's coming from. instead of plans that include her, you basically told her that your plans may or may not include her, you're not sure.

maybe it is better that you don't have a girlfriend right now.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah but my plans may or may not include her because I'm twenty-five years old and she is twenty-one years old and neither of us has a wedding ring on our finger.

[misombra]

that's true. but remember, that girl put her life on hold for you for a while. she probably thought deep inside that you would make sacrifices for her as well.

maybe not holding off on any of your plans or limiting your possibilities, but simply by including her in such plans.

oh and if you come here for a university, look into something on the west coast. you would love california.

[misombra]

here's a song for you cb.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wI6uAOHzvo"]YouTube - The mamas and the papas - California dreamin[/ame]

[Mish]

yeah except I don't want and have never wanted a "serious relationship". Even the phrase makes my skin crawl. In my mind, for my age, girlfriends = fun. That's the equation. Someone to take to dinner and got to the beach with and make love to. "Serious" shouldn't enter into it. There'll be enough time for that later on.

She probably understood that too. Perhaps she was looking for something serious and this wasn't the right approach for her.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened, you two made a great couple.

[shh!]

I hope you aren't regretting going to Europe.

And BTW - depsite whatever selfish characteristics you may or may not possess, she waited a long time for you. You must be one helluva guy when all is said and done.

[Junket]

Not too long ago I had mentioned to my girlfriend that I was considering looking nationally for a job. Just trying to be a little more open about my career path.

She got really upset over it, though she didn't show it initially.

She kept asking me if I was alright with the long distance relationship thing again, the big obstacle we so recently overcame. I can be an overtly logical thinker, so I said "yes". I mean, of course, unless I'd expect her to follow with, and I didn't.

This threw her emotional well-being into a tizzy. She thought I had different thoughts on our relationship, when I was doing little more than pondering.

So I can relate.

That's some shit, but I can't say I blame her, can't really say I blame you either.

You may be kickin' yourself now, for not banging that brazilian chick...

[Charlie Boy II]

haha nah, I got no regrets. About any of it. And I don't blame Kristin or think she's being unreasonable. I acknowledge the break up is mostly my fault. I'm pretty sure I could have stopped it the other night, but I just got the feeling we just would have ended up back at the same location soon anyway. Things just haven't been the same since I got back.

My parents are away in Italy for the next couple of weeks so I've just been prowling the house licking my wounds.

I've spoken to a few friends and what makes me laugh is the difference between male and female responses to this sort of thing. With my mates it's usually an uncomfortable exchange like

"Kristin and I broke up last night,"
"oh shit, really? ... that sucks.... so, do you want to go surfing?"

But with the women, when I tell them they go in to some obviously well practised "breakdown support mode", like

"Oh my god honey! That's awful! Are you ok? Is someone there. Why don't you come over and have some wines and we'll talk about it."
"Stacey, I'm a guy I don't have "wines""

It's funny though, because with my mates I really don't want to talk much about it with them. I guess none of us ever really discuss emotional stuff much. And I wouldn't want to. It's nice just to forget about it and go surfing. But with the women it's just easier to kind of open up to a bit. Women are great.

[Junket]

Women are great.

I know!

That's why I want to screw so many of them.

Lately, I feel like I've become jaded towards this relationship, I take her for granted. I'm comfortable. Bored. Which means 1 of 2 things need to happen.

1.) I need to go chase other girls in secret.

2.) Something needs to happen where that stability becomes shaky, and I need to rush and amend things. (drama)

I need some conflict, I need a goal to strive for, I need something I have to fight for.

[IndiReloaded]

Sorry to hear, CB.

How are you about it, tho? Do you actually want to get back w/her or have you decided things have run their course?

Re: education, you are right to do what you must. Same for her. You should not be tied to anyone at your age.

But emotions aren't rational. She will probably realize this at some point, then perhaps you two can talk. Just be sure to acknowledge her fear of missing you as valid.

[IndiReloaded]

I need some conflict, I need a goal to strive for, I need something I have to fight for.

:roll eyes:

Iraq? That is the traditional solution to this type of problem.

As you get older, you will learn that "boring" and "stable" is a godsend. The drama gets very tiring. Its the close comfort that is nourishing to the soul.

[Charlie Boy II]

I know!

That's why I want to screw so many of them.

Lately, I feel like I've become jaded towards this relationship, I take her for granted. I'm comfortable. Bored. Which means 1 of 2 things need to happen.

1.) I need to go chase other girls in secret.

2.) Something needs to happen where that stability becomes shaky, and I need to rush and amend things. (drama)

I need some conflict, I need a goal to strive for, I need something I have to fight for.

I know that exact feeling. And it's like the first mutations of relationship cancer.

And how old are you again? Twenty-two right? That's the age my mate's and I's desire to insert our DNA into as many openings as possible became strongest. 18-21 is often relationships, then 22-23/24 is man whore age, and then 25/26 is back to steady relationships. Many of my friends, including myself, have followed this same pattern. I'll get back to you on what comes next.

[Mish]

As you get older, you will learn that "boring" and "stable" is a godsend. The drama gets very tiring. Its the close comfort that is nourishing to the soul.

Ditto

Especialy on the stability part