I can't stop crying

[IndiReloaded]

I agree w/not using the cultural differences excuse. Assholes abound in every sex, race and culture.

These experiences teach us to get better at spotting them and getting away from them faster when we make the mistake of getting tangled up with one. B/c we do. Shit happens. Don't beat yourself up Eco. You're fine & getting finer everyday.

[Zilla80]

Oh shit that Dane Cook video was funny.

eco don't cry anymore.

[shh!]

I'm not sure what eco means about the lying, but there may be some cultural aspects involved. One of the first things we learned about Asian cultures is that just because they nod their head in agreement when you discuss health care plans, and despite them saying they fully intend to comply, this doesn't necessarily mean they will do it. It isn't exactly considered *lying*, but rather an example of them allowing the health care provider to "save face" by avoiding disagreement. My brother says his wife (Japanese) always says she agrees with him on any given subject, but then passively plants the seed that he is wrong.

Asians are generally not as direct as people of other cultures.

[starbuck]

Does that mean we can call you "emojeanne?"

J/K

[IndiReloaded]

One of the first things we learned about Asian cultures is that just because they nod their head in agreement when you discuss health care plans, and despite them saying they fully intend to comply, this doesn't necessarily mean they will do it. It isn't exactly considered *lying*, but rather an example of them allowing the health care provider to "save face" by avoiding disagreement. My brother says his wife (Japanese) always says she agrees with him on any given subject, but then passively plants the seed that he is wrong.

Asians are generally not as direct as people of other cultures.

Yep. I have some Japanese gals that work for me & this is completely true. And I'm learning Mandarin right now & the Chinese seem to be the same.

I've mentioned this before, but asian cultures aren't just 'saving face', they actually consider baldface American 'honesty' to be a sign of cultural immaturity. Its considered 'bad form' to not be able to read between the lines of a situation and actually FORCE someone to state something clearly.

Just look at how Japanese insult each other. Anyone know how to tell someone to 'shut up' in Japanese?

You don't. There is no japanese equivalent of STFU. Its closest to something like 'the thing in front of me is noisy'.

[Only-virgins]

What happened to Dane Cook, man he used to be funny...that shit right there stunk like shit.

[lastwish]

Was he "chinese" chinese. What I mean is does he really live in China or did you guys met in America or the U.K? I've dated Chinese guys (from the west since I grow up here) and other asian guys. I don't have any experience with chinese guys from china but if you're talking about chinese guys who live in america or the U.K then I can offer you my experience for those. "Chinese guys" usually try too hard and make too many sacrafices for the girl. You said he was a bad boyfriend so maybe it isn't the cultural thing...maybe he's just wasn't that into you or its just him thats a really bad boyfriend. Shame on him and good riddance.

[moonriverlove]

Hi Jeanne, I am from China. What's the issue between you and the Chinese guy? Maybe I can help you interpret his behavior from the culture perspective a little bit? Yes, Asian culture are more indirect than American culture. We don't express out emotion that much. And I agree with previous posts that traditional Chinese men, I mean from China not born here, are tend to be very considerate and kinda of sacrifice too much (maybe by American men's standard.)

I personally have a thing on American men. I just think they are more attractive. But my American boyfriend just broke up with me. So hurt. I don't think we broke up for a "culture difference" in particular, but I do think the culture difference made him feels that the connection is not that strong as with American girls. Although we had so much good times together, he just cann't see us in a marriage. I guess he never really thinks that he will marry a person out of the race.

I don't know whether my experience will give you some hint. Out race dating is very exciting but also needs more mutual communication i guess.

[ecojeanne]

moon sorry to you that you broke up with your guy

to everyone thankyou for your help. i know i have sometimes been a pain in the ass here on LF and i really appreciate the unexpected support i got.

my Bridget Jones moment is over, altho my eyes are still killin me....went ott on that!....i know the decision to give him the boot was right and i unknowingly was dwelling on it for the last 2 months. i lost weight, i stayed on the couch for pretty much the whole 2 months since the break up....thats why i've been such a pain in the ass posting so many threads i guess....anyway thankyou all very much