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Thread: I'm tired of this, I'll give up...

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arrow View Post
    I'll be very honest with you: my counsellor has said I'm still able to manage it, so I'll insist. It doesn't mean I'm not trying to meet new people, but I have a dream and I'm going for it by whatever means are more adequate.
    You don't have a dream.

    You have an obsession, manifested purely in your own mind.

    It's not like food, where it's something you need, and would stop at nothing at getting it. In fact, it's like obsessing over a particular apple in a huge pile of other perfectly good apples. Because for whatever reason you decided that one apple is the perfect apple, meant only for you. Nobody else can truly appreciate the hue of red of that apple like you could. Nobody else deserves to sink their teeth into the soft white flesh as you do. In fact...that apple is too good to ever be consumed, it deserves to be preserved in an icy vacuum, forever.

    Crazy f*ck.

  2. #17
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    If i were that girl, I'd get a restraining order. Sorry buddy, but I think this situation's hopeless until you stop obsessing over her.

  3. #18
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    Dude, Fras said it all. You are being totally unreasonable about this.

    Oh, and part of winning is *choosing wisely*. Personally, I don't actually believe everyone deserves to win. Only those who are smart enough to set their environment up to make it likely.

    Success isn't won, babe, its MADE. You are barking up the wrong woman. Go find success w/someone else.

    Or, is it that perhaps you feel *safe* dreaming about this fantasy girl you know you will never have? Still setting those expectations so high you can't but fail, eh, Arrow?

    You are afraid to take a chance. So you choose the impossible. Bleh, what a way to muddle through life.

  4. #19
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    Frasbee said it all and perhaps I shoulda made it a little more blunt like that lol. The fact you openly joke about somethings that you have worries me and it really is starting to creep all of us out I think.

    The sooner you realise this is an unhealthy obsession the better. This is NOT love, it's obsession through and through. Listen to yourself at all the negative points you've said about her, stop trying to create a reason to hate yourself. You hate her because you can't have her and no one can, is that what you call love? You're so fixated on the fact that because you can't have her you've turned it around and started believing she's the one.

  5. #20
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    Brother Arrow,

    How's your day? Still hitting on your objective? See I really think its a great thing you have there. Great spirit, you go on doing what you are set to do.

    I only hope one thing, if you do have a gf someday and your gf loves only you, you wouldn't mind another guy persistently going after your gf. Calling her out, trying to get that dance, trying to buy her dinner, sending her cards, coming into forum and saying he'd kill to get your gf.

    It's a different analogy yes. But the principle is the same. You can't get a girl if you don't persevere. But in this case, you're scaring her.

    Girls get discourage easily. Are you sure you want to be doing this to her if you really love her? Or do you love yourself so much, you need her to be yours so that you're satisfied and happy? Have you gave that a thought?

    Let it be bro. Be her friend by all means, you might just realize she's better as a friend, or she might realize she loves you later. Who knows? I don't. But the problem is your sincerity.

    When you are her friend, are you sincerely her friend and only want to be her friend? If not, she probably sense it and is keeping a distance too hence you getting more and more discouraging message.

    No one is driving you mad, you are driving yourself mad. Let her love who she wants, she is not yours, maybe not yet, or maybe never.

    But if you're going to scare her like this, it's most probably never. If you can't buy a Merc today, work hard doing the right thing to get it someday, not kill the salesman and steal the car.
    If you've worked hard, sincere and still don't earn enough to get it, you don't go crazy over it. It's ok.

    You are entitled to winning sometimes? This is the most wrong statement anyone who is in love can say. You are not loving her. Think about it hard tonight. Really really hard.

    Love is not about winning. Competition is. Gambling is. Love is about losing. It's a game with the total opposite rule. When people fall in love, they lose their heart to their partner.
    When you want to win. You just got yourself in a race. A race, that winning, means losing.
    Many goes into a relationship with this thought " Oh how wonderful this man/woman is going to be".

    That is waiting to receive or hoping to. Love should be " Oh I could just imagine the things I will do for this man/woman "

    If love is the former, lovers will be meeting each other greeting `Hi Darling, You Love me' rather than `Hi sweetie, I love you'.

  6. #21
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    It sounds scary that You said You could kill for her... You shouldn't kill even for Yourself... And if there was ever a chance to win her You have lost it,being such a "freak".Hope she never find Your posts here,she would be horrified...I know,it hurts when You can't get a candy because "Mama said so"...Stamp Your foot,wince and become offended.Tomorrow You'll see another candy,maybe Mama buy You this one.
    And stop to lament Yourself! Damn it,Are You a man? Life is a rollercoaster : ups and downs,get used to it man...
    I wazzzz here


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    It's always irritating when guys say "I'll do anything" because they never ever ever ever really mean it. For example, if you're willing to do absolutely anything for this girl, LEAVE HER ALONE!

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    I believe bumping an old and forgotten thread to offer poor advice is plain stupid.

    I decided to leave the forum some time ago because I felt that what I was getting as replies (with some exceptions of course) was just common sense. I don't need common sense, as it's already of my knowledge. As I've grown to taste life I also learned that common sense tends to be overly pessimistic since 95% of the people in the world have some sort of frustrated goal in life or simply hate themselves because their neighbour has a better car or a more rounded breast.

    I find it extremely offensive to be recriminated for some of the things I said. The fact I decided to write things which many other people have thought about at least once in life doesn't make me different from any other person. The thing is, until now, I haven't had the opportunity to live a normal life, do things people my age do, and that is due to family background amongst other things. During my childhood I was a very extroverted person but have been progressively toned down. This year was a first I can actually said I lived a bit. I was at the absolute bottom and I'm now slowly taking off, still bothered by old fears but I'm on an everlasting quest of improvement and people are coming to talk to me and saying how different I am from just months ago.

    I believe I can be with this girl someday, maybe next year, maybe next week, maybe when we're well into our forties since we'll be able to easily maintain contact in the future due to what we'll end up working with. Hell, maybe I'll find someone I'll love even more, that's not a difficult thing actually since I don't resist an interesting girl and I myself have a tendency to be very kind to those who like me because it's satisfying to return the favour and please someone. But, today, at this moment, that is the girl I love and I'm willing to put some effort to make things happen between us. I have no idea what she feels towards me. I know she likes me (not love). But she acts strange with me and so far I haven't given her a reason for her to do so. In fact, SHE has given me enough reason to start suspecting she might not want "just friendship" but doesn't want anything right now. Subconciously she knows what I feel towards her and I'm avoiding making it look like I care too much about her because this would be detrimental to both of us and no woman in their right mind likes a sticky guy. So I'm employing different strategies and living my life in the meantime, getting to know different people... And obviously I won't do everything for her, because: 1) I don't have enough money for doing absurdly great things; 2) I don't have a tendency for masochism (despite being tempted to come back here to look at these awfully uninspiring replies); 3) not everything works.

    One of the things I have learned in life is that, to succeed, you have to be daring. Amongst all the people who changed the world through their doings, I haven't seen a single one who thought they wouldn't make it. If you're pessimistic about things, you can be sure they won't work. I remember I once read in a newspaper a quote from a football player from the German national squad. He was asked whether the Germans were scared of playing against Brazil in the 2002 World Cup finals and he said something to this effect: "Us Germans never enter the field fearing the opponent. If we do, we're going to lose".

  9. #24
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    Wow!

    I'm sorry to hear this.

    You probably are not as desperate as you think.

    It's an illusion.

    Most people think they would give anything in the world for people, and I've done the same thing when I was in my 20's... Having lost a husband recently, (but I got him back)... I know what it's like.

    Keep fighting and believe in YOURSELF and never let them think you are desperate for them. This works both ways.

    It's common for guys to fall for a girls beauty, smile or whatever, even if she's the devil in disguise... I've seen the same thing happen many time.

    Good Luck,

    Cynthia

  10. #25
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    look dude, I can tell youre one of those people who have the "we are meant to be together" mentality. Truth be told, there is no predestined relationships, there is no fate, no true love no of that bullshit. Theres probably like 5000 girls in the world who you would potentially like enough to marry and a million more that you can date. Trust me this one person is NOT your ticket to happiness. You gotta take it like a man, keep your head up, and just move on dude...

    probably not what you wanna hear, but trust me I've been there before and its not worth beating yourself up over

  11. #26
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    Dude, if you've got so much damn common sense, why don't you stop wasting everyone's time on here and actually start using it?

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