Indignat's Thread

[Junket]

Here's a question.

Would you ever mention this to his wife?


EDIT: Indie, I think it may help if you were to show Indig your thread, maybe we can scrounge up Blue's as well.

[IndiReloaded]

EDIT: Indie, I think it may help if you were to show Indig your thread, maybe we can scrounge up Blue's as well.

You mean the one in BJ that I stupidly deleted a while back?

If you can find it Fras & resurrect it in there, I'll post relevant parts here. The last post date should only be a week or so off the one that's there now. I don't mind. I'll also look for the other dinosaur thread that everyone had a go at way back when my hair wasn't grey. Its probably in the archives. If I find it, I'll PM her.

[bluesummer]

EDIT: Indie, I think it may help if you were to show Indig your thread, maybe we can scrounge up Blue's as well.

I don't know if mine is AS relevant.

[Indignant]

Indi and Misha, could you please remind me why I lost a friend. I really regret deleting the other post since you have mentioned a lot of good points on why i should do it. It's gotten so hard now.

[Mish]

Indi and Misha, could you please remind me why I lost a friend. I really regret deleting the other post since you have mentioned a lot of good points on why i should do it. It's gotten so hard now.

You two were involved in what seemed like an emotional affair. He was telling you he loves you and turning you into a competitor to his wife. Your choice was to continue and play along or resist his ulterior motives. I'm not sure why you chose to do no contact with him when just telling him to stop all the flirting and the hinting, that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to his family would've been enough imo. But I suppose it was another way of solving a complicated problem. I think it must have been very hard to do what you did and I applaud your resolve.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi and Misha, could you please remind me why I lost a friend. I really regret deleting the other post since you have mentioned a lot of good points on why i should do it. It's gotten so hard now.

He's an addiction. You ARE involved in an EA, I knew it. You need to get off the needle, Dig. NC is the only way, at least for a long while. I would suggest at least until you find yourself in a stable romantic relationship. Then you can get your BFs opinion on the situation.

FWIW, that story I told you? Those two ppl eventually resumed their friendship, after many months of NC and him finding a lovely GF. But the daily/weekly contact stopped and so did the emotional dependence. Boundaries were clearly set & held. They contact each other mbe a few times a year and lightly, as 'just friends' should.

BTW, I do agree with Mish that your style seems a bit abrupt. In the story I mentioned, the woman took care to explain her reasons for what she felt she needed to do to her 'friend'. I'm not sure a REAL friendship would have cutoff so abruptly. It seems a very emotional decision on your part, which again makes me suspect your true motives in this.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm not sure why you chose to do no contact with him when just telling him to stop all the flirting and the hinting, that it's inappropriate and disrespectful to his family would've been enough imo.

For Mish: I doubt this would have been enough. He already knows all this. And he already knows she's receptive to his attention. He would have just gotten more subtle about it.

NC is totally the way to go, IMO. But I do think she should have explained to him her reasons before cutting bait. Let him know that SHE knows what is happening isn't alright. Use the opportunity to tell him to focus on improving his relationship with his wife. Ultimately, tho, that's his problem. Dig needs to look after her own feelings about this, b/c he's too busy caring about himself. That much is clear.

[Indignant]

wow, i can't believe Indi and Misha helped me go through that crap. it seems like it never happened now. now we can easily have minimal contact with each other only when business permits and not even a hint of anything passes through me.