Need some help, big time.

[ecojeanne]

well tbh i'm thinking about the children not this so called lust/infatuation/imagination/ or yes love, it could be love, i'm not denying it, however the children will be affected by this change. also the fact that your ex has already introduced you and you haven't even started dating or even getting serious gives me major doubts about her character and whether her kids do really come first for her.

it is impulsive....too impulsive, think of the bloddy kids, will ya?!

[bowtech]

Astually we are thinking of the kids, yes they know we use to be married but as of now, they just know I'm mom's friend that came by to visit. They don't know anything beyond that.

[bluesummer]

If you're unhappy in your marriage, get counselling. If you can't do that, divorce. After you've sorted that out, THEN you are free to see your ex-wife again. My point is, the grass is always greener on the other side. Don't dump your current wife for your ex-wife because you think you'll be happier. Leave your wife only if your marriage is in disrepair and is completely unsalvageable. That way you know you're not doing it for the wrong reasons.....ie your judgement clouded by your feelings for someone else.

[bowtech]

Blue, best advice I've heard. Really gave me something to think about.

[carl1222]

Sorry you see it that way. I just know that my wife and I now are just going threw the motions. I feel she would or could find more love if I went back to my ex. Aren't people supposed to try and be happy, I mean truly happy? I just wondering if were not that way after 8 years are we ever going to be?

Only if you work at it. Happiness is often what you make it, bowtech. Sure, everyone wants a "Prince Charming/Cinderella" life but remember ... when they said "They lived happily ever after" they never explained how. I expect it involved doing the work of a successful relationship and not just going through the motions. That's what commitment is all about!

I hope you aren't seriously suggesting that by dumping your wife you are doing her a favor, are you?

Carl.

[bowtech]

No no, thats not what I ment at all. I'm just saying were are going threw the mothion and IF we seperate I'm sure she would find someone.

[Dasein]

Ok before I give my 2 cents:

Current: adjective happening or being used or done now.
Currant: noun a dried fruit made from a small seedless variety of grape.

I don't know why people see marriage as being so disposable these day? Why do people always want to jump to the dump?

I think it is really shitty what you are doing to your current wife..can you imagine how she must feel knowing that you carry a torch for your ex? If you guys were so good together why didn't you stay married? It is probably because you had a rocky patch (like you are having now) and you just gave up.

Trust me it won't work.

[IndiReloaded]

Sorry you see it that way. I just know that my wife and I now are just going threw the motions. I feel she would or could find more love if I went back to my ex. Aren't people supposed to try and be happy, I mean truly happy? I just wondering if were not that way after 8 years are we ever going to be?

The grass is always greener, isn't it?

Ppl like you spend their lives flitting from relationship to relationship trying to regain that elusive 'spark' from early on, never understanding that love evolves. And requires a hell of a lot of work. In your present mind, you will simply continue to reach the same, shallow relationship stage and then move on when things get tough, repeating the cycle. Shrug.

Great marriages aren't discovered. They are UNcovered. Like the Rosetta Stone. They required hard work. Pity noone told you this either time you got married.

Suggest counselling. And a rethink of what marriage vows actually mean to you. Perhaps you are just not cut out for long term commitment, in which case leaving both alone (as someone suggested) would be the most honest thing for you to do.

Good luck.

[IndiReloaded]

If you guys were so good together why didn't you stay married? It is probably because you had a rocky patch (like you are having now) and you just gave up.

Exactly.