His very high sex drive

[Asparagoose]

so I guess I wanted to "punish" him in a way, by not giving in to sex so easily.

Punish him for what? For your own insecurities? Let me guess, when he leaves, you're probably going to reconcile it by telling yourself that he probably didn't care about you. Immature captures that mentality perfectly. How old are you?

Commitment means that he is voluntarily limiting his sex life to just you. Why is he doing that? Because he's not just looking for sex AND he trust that you'll respect that. If you disrespect that at any point, like someone already said, get ready to deal with the other edge of that sword.

If you're going to do that, do it when you're married and he can't just walk away. Better yet, wait until you have kids and he has no choice but to stay and tolerate it. Even then, instead of leaving, you open up the door for him having sex with other people.

Unless he's some unattractive loser, no guy is going to put the breaks on his sex life because "you" don't want to have sex. You won't find out if he cares about you, but you might find out how differently guys and girls think about sex. It's like chocolate; you can live without it, but you'd rather not.

[carl1222]

You're special because he choses to be with you. The fact that he has a strong sex drive is a gift to you why in the world would you punish both of you for that. It's unfair to both of you and I guaruntee it won't get rid of your insecurities. Don't play stupid games have more sex until he's all used up and can't take it anymore or you die trying. At least you'll go out happy.

But always remember ... if he has an erection that lasts for more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical assistance!

Seriously ... what are you looking for? A guy who would be a monk except for your irresistable attractiveness? Don't mess with Mother Nature ... she can be a real b*tch when crossed, tzna.

Carl.

[Asparagoose]

From his point of view, he's with you and he wouldn't be exclusive with you unless he liked you. He knows that, but he thinks you're some mind-reader and that you should also be able to magically know that for yourself too. Unless you have some proof or reassurance, you constantly ask yourself why any guy would want to be with a bitch like me? The only thing you can come up with is sex. So you think, aha, if we don't have sex then I want to see if he still wants to be with me.

No, but because now he's no longer happy or satisfied, and being unhappy and unsatisfied isn't anyone's idea of a good relationship. If he stops giving you attention, calling you, or paying for dates and doing nice things for you, will you be less interested in him? Does that mean that you were with him ONLY for those things? If you could do much better with someone who makes you happy and satisfies you, and you leave him, does that mean you didn't really care for him? Are you starting to see the point?

Beyond the obvious point of how counterproductive, immature and retarded this all is, is the idea of why you're probably feeling this way. There's no denying that the reason you feel this way is because you're afraid and uncertain. The reason you're afraid and uncertain is because you're insecure. The reason you're insecure is because you're either not fully aware of or simply not really comfortable, confident and secure with yourself yet. Why would anyone love you? This has less to do with him, and more to do with you. You should read up on humanism and work towards self-actualization. It will help you be happier and have healthier relationships.

[Bo]

how old is he exactly? And if he's choosing to be with u exclusively he's probably not using u.

[Lite]

I think you're confusing erection with arousal. At that age I could be in a car accident and get an erection. It's rather involuntary.♠

[lesa]

I think you're confusing erection with arousal. At that age I could be in a car accident and get an erection. It's rather involuntary.♠

That reminds me how women can have "orgasms" without sexual stimulation or masturbation. Interesting huh? Whatever gets the blood flowing may get an erection or even orgasm.

[Aeradalia]

Bang his brains out, be his personal sex toy, watch porn with him, play videogames with him, blow him and make sure he sees you swallow, let him defile you and bring him beer.

He will be your husband in no time.

Then you can feel free to withhold all the sex you want.

Question: Why withhold the sex at all? Why ruin perfection?

Hah...

[Lite]

Learning to use sex in order to wield power of a relationship is a bad habit to develop. You should be quite capable of holding your own in the relationship (if it's a real relationship anyway) without doing this.

Otherwise, the guy will eventually get tired of your games and kick your ass to the curb.

[BarnBurner]

"I don't know exactly, I feel a little insecure sometimes and his high sex drives bothers me because I know that even looking at OTHER girls gets him horny"

Oh dear. To be frank, get used to it. This is something inate in most hetersexual men. Men are always going to look....no matter how young and especially old they are. Even if he didn't have raging boners every 2 minutes, he's going to be popping glances at some other chicks assage or headlights. The only time he won't be popping looks at other women will be when your spotlight-like eyes aren't looking right at 'em. Sorry.

[Lite]

The only time he won't be popping looks at other women will be when your spotlight-like eyes aren't looking right at 'em. Sorry.

Nah, my woman points out other nice looking women to oggle for me. She's bi, so we people watch well together.

[Only-virgins]

He is a hairy ape using you for sex.

[Aeradalia]

Nah, my woman points out other nice looking women to oggle for me. She's bi, so we people watch well together.

Yep... then it turns into a 'group activity' both can share..

[Mish]

Learning to use sex in order to wield power of a relationship is a bad habit to develop. You should be quite capable of holding your own in the relationship (if it's a real relationship anyway) without doing this.

Otherwise, the guy will eventually get tired of your games and kick your ass to the curb.

+1

Using sex as a weapon to solve personal problems will always misfire

[freedom]

I am definitely not against using sex as a weapon. Hell, I am a guy, and I know if my girl wants to hold it back for whatever reason, I better just accept it and not ask questions. If he starts getting irritable or asking questions about why he isn't getting any, you know what he is after. I say if you can last a week or two of getting to know each other better, so should his arse be able to. At least maybe you can talk about sex on the downtime and find out each others fetishes without guessing wildly in the dark... Not to mention, if he really is exclusive, once you give in, it will be heaven on earth

[Aeradalia]

I am definitely not against using sex as a weapon. Hell, I am a guy, and I know if my girl wants to hold it back for whatever reason, I better just accept it and not ask questions. If he starts getting irritable or asking questions about why he isn't getting any, you know what he is after. I say if you can last a week or two of getting to know each other better, so should his arse be able to. At least maybe you can talk about sex on the downtime and find out each others fetishes without guessing wildly in the dark... Not to mention, if he really is exclusive, once you give in, it will be heaven on earth

Hate to tell you this... but being around females for extended lengths of time who use sex as a weapon becomes irritating for the guy and is downright immature. Men are not dogs... and women are not their 'masters.' It is not a woman's right to give and take 'privileges' from a man... make him beg, hop, skip, jump... or whatever other tricks she wants. Men deserve to be treated with respect from the women who supposedly loves them.

A relationship is a type of partnership between two people on equal footing. If one has to have the 'upper hand' then it's no longer a loving relationship - it's no longer a healthy relationship.