me vs. hand

[misombra]

you will be quite hard pressed to find a person who doesn't masturbate.

people who don't have arms rub themselves up against walls if they have to.

i can't even think of one living thing that doesn't masturbate. yes, inside and outside of a relationship/marriage...

may i ask how old you are?

[annoyed23]

im 23. i dont masturbate out of respect. in my mind it would be disrespectful to my man. thats my own choice. yes, i get horny when he isnt around, but i would rather wait for him than do it myself.

[misombra]

well, in his mind it isn't disrespectful to you.

there really isn't much anyone can tell you, other than if it bothers you that much then go out and find a guy who thinks the same way you do.

[annoyed23]

its not that i want him to stop. i just think his timing was selfish in this particular case...and it made me feel bad. i get why he does it, i just dont get why he did it when he did.

[carl1222]

its not that i want him to stop. i just think his timing was selfish in this particular case...and it made me feel bad. i get why he does it, i just dont get why he did it when he did.

I'm still having trouble understanding how that harmed you? When you came home, he was completely up for sex ... it was YOU who turned HIM down last night. It's not like he ate your dinner and left you to go hungry or something, so how was he "selfish?"

Earlier, you said that if you masturbate shortly before sex, it makes the sex unenjoyable for you. But that's YOU, not HIM. He seems to enjoy sex just fine whether or not he has masturbated earlier.

Sorry, but to me, it keeps coming back to "I had to suffer, so he should have had to suffer too." That's not a very loving attitude.

Carl.

[annoyed23]

he knew that if he masturbated, i would be upset and wouldnt follow through with having sex. he said no to me the night before...so I am upset that he felt like masturbating was okay the next day before I came home. I dont mind if he does it in the morning or whatever, its the fact that he did it right before I was getting home that upsets me. hes made it clear that having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him, so i know thats not it! I said no because he KNEW how I would react. I said no because I dont feel like he wanted sex with me, he just wanted to bust a nut so he did it himself...and then when i made a stink he was all okay to have sex. does his make sense?

[Indignant]

on the other hand, if you keep on having that attitude he will resent having sex with you. not letting him masturbate whenever he wants to, is the same as being upset at him for having dinner when he was hungry and not waiting for you. also, masturbating is an amazing experience cuz you can close your eyes and imagine anyone else, you are not confined to that one person that you are sick and tired of seeing each day. it requires less work and more enjoyable to some level.

[Gigabitch]

another question i have is: if a man jerks off, and has sex later that same night, is the sex any less pleasurable?

From what I'm told, it can actually be better. Less desperate. Less about just busting a nut and more about real intimacy.

It's not like he ate your dinner and left you to go hungry or something,

Good example, and it reminds me that guys that age can eat and then be hungry again for a whole meal two hours later. Sex is the same way.

Annoyed, do you want him to just be starving and trying to fill his pie hole or do you want him to have something delicious that he really wants? That's he difference between masturbation and having sex with you. One is just maintenance.

[annoyed23]

im not stupid...thats why im trying to get over this...i dont want it to affect our relationship, but i also dont want to feel like im not good enough. or worth waiting for

[annoyed23]

thank you Gigabitch....thats more of a perspective i can relate to! thats very helpful...thank you.

[Gigabitch]

I see it almost the opposite way. i do NOT want to feel like some blow-up doll that he's using just because he has this pressing physical need. That pisses me off. I want him to be motivated by emotional passion, not full balls.

[carl1222]

he knew that if he masturbated, i would be upset and wouldnt follow through with having sex. he said no to me the night before...so I am upset that he felt like masturbating was okay the next day before I came home. I dont mind if he does it in the morning or whatever, its the fact that he did it right before I was getting home that upsets me. hes made it clear that having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him, so i know thats not it! I said no because he KNEW how I would react. I said no because I dont feel like he wanted sex with me, he just wanted to bust a nut so he did it himself...and then when i made a stink he was all okay to have sex. does his make sense?

21 posts into the thread and this comes up? I was wondering why he would always tell you about his masturbation, a frankly private thing. I was assuming that he was just a completely honest guy.

Now you say that he uses your predictable reaction to his "activities" as a way to avoid sex and make it seem like it's your fault. As for "having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him," that's bulls**t at his age.

Are there any other problems in your sex life or relationship you haven't mentioned yet?

Carl.

[lesa]

im 23. i dont masturbate out of respect. in my mind it would be disrespectful to my man. thats my own choice. yes, i get horny when he isnt around, but i would rather wait for him than do it myself.

its not that i want him to stop. i just think his timing was selfish in this particular case...and it made me feel bad. i get why he does it, i just dont get why he did it when he did.

he knew that if he masturbated, i would be upset and wouldnt follow through with having sex. he said no to me the night before...so I am upset that he felt like masturbating was okay the next day before I came home. I dont mind if he does it in the morning or whatever, its the fact that he did it right before I was getting home that upsets me. hes made it clear that having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him, so i know thats not it! I said no because he KNEW how I would react. I said no because I dont feel like he wanted sex with me, he just wanted to bust a nut so he did it himself...and then when i made a stink he was all okay to have sex. does his make sense?

im not stupid...thats why im trying to get over this...i dont want it to affect our relationship, but i also dont want to feel like im not good enough. or worth waiting for

Instead of expecting him to stop masturbating out of respect for you, it would be wiser to improve your self esteem and self worth. You are not an object to be used every time your man gets horny. Sexual intercourse is about physical intimacy and not always about relieving sexual tension.

Masturbation is good for a man's health. I would rather have a man who masturbates everyday than a man who never masturbates. He would be more healthy, less cranky, and he would last longer. All of those things are good. Plus cleaning out his pipe is good for prostate health. Don't you want him to live longer?

[lesa]

he knew that if he masturbated, i would be upset and wouldnt follow through with having sex. he said no to me the night before...so I am upset that he felt like masturbating was okay the next day before I came home. I dont mind if he does it in the morning or whatever, its the fact that he did it right before I was getting home that upsets me. hes made it clear that having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him, so i know thats not it! I said no because he KNEW how I would react. I said no because I dont feel like he wanted sex with me, he just wanted to bust a nut so he did it himself...and then when i made a stink he was all okay to have sex. does his make sense?

What does he tell you? "No, sorry I don't want sex. I just 'busted a nut'". If so, you guys have major issues.

[Junket]

21 posts into the thread and this comes up? I was wondering why he would always tell you about his masturbation, a frankly private thing. I was assuming that he was just a completely honest guy.

Now you say that he uses your predictable reaction to his "activities" as a way to avoid sex and make it seem like it's your fault. As for "having sex after he busts once isnt enjoyable to him," that's bulls**t at his age.

Are there any other problems in your sex life or relationship you haven't mentioned yet?

Carl.

I always find it humorous that emotional people leave out some of the most important information. It's like they get so caught up in what is upsetting them in the moment, they don't mention all the reasons why they got where they are.

Then when you try to give them proper advice, or answer their question, nothing seems satisfactory to them, despite the fact you've covered every aspect of their inquiry. Then somewhere along the line, in their own desperate confusion, they more or less, accidentally drop an important detail, and suddenly, things make sense!

This girl is a drama queen man, you can tell she's young, so insecure over something so frivolous.