I need to clear this up

[JasonG]

Communication is definitely the big key to any type of relationship and if this girl won't give you the time of day to explain and unclutter your mind of whatever questions you may have then she isn't worth your time. Friends are there for friends no matter what and I think this would be the ultimate test to see if she's really worth having as a friend. I know it must crush you when you see the word friend being used in this situation but try to see the positives of having that great connection with this girl. Believe me, it's great having a girl as a friend! You get to see a whole other world that to most guys would be like "are you crazy!?" and vice-versa with her having you as a guy friend too and to share that experience with. But you know, the future is unknown and maybe... MAYBE one day you two will connect so well as friends that it may lead into something further. Just whatever you do, don't cling onto that hope that it will absolutely go somewhere in the future when it may never at all. Point is, anything is possible and there is no way to know what the future holds between the two of you. With my girl friend she was like to me, "I don't really have many guy friends" and the thought she has me as a friend is pretty cool because for me too it's vice-versa where I don't have any friends who are girls except her now.

Asking her what she thinks of you is a good idea but don't get so worked up on your own fantasies of what you hope she says about you because if you do that you'll be horribly devastated if it's not the answer you expected. Trust me, I know man. Same with having fantasies about her. Like I don't know what you wish you had with this girl... her having sex with you, having kids together, growing old together, having those special intimate moments, whatever the case may be... best advice, try and not think of it too much. It's hard, and it IS okay to think about it but know when you must take control of yourself and not let it control your life and tell you what to do. My best advice is be her friend if you can. Because once you're her friend you'll start to see she ain't so perfect as you thought she was. She'll have faults just like you, you'll disagree on things, you'll probably get into arguments, and maybe even you'll be like "God it's a good thing she isn't my girlfriend!" (but I'm not trying to doom things for you with saying that, just saying some people could be thankful in the end) and you'll act like most friends do with each other except it's alittle different because you're of the opposite sex.

It's a long road man, believe me. Think of all this pain you may be feeling right now and say to yourself, "This is happening for a reason. It must be. I may not see the reason right now but in time I will begin to understand what all of this means and why I was chosen to go through this horrible agony". You can either chose to continue being miserable and locked in a spiral of negative thoughts or you challenge yourself to take this experience, learn from it and be a better man to try again with somebody else thinking and believing that the second time you'll be more emotionally prepared. How you live with this feeling is important, do you embrace it or hate yourself for ever having them? It's good to have this feeling, as hard as that may be to understand right now for you.

If you feel true love for her after all the smoke and dust is cleared and once/if you get to this point I'm at right now you still feel love for her then it is sure to be true. And you would have come to realize that this feeling ain't so bad to have afterall and true love for someone is forever lasting and you'll be able to share those future special moments with your best friend. You'll be there to see her laugh, seek your advice, she'll feel comfortable knowing you're always there for her through thick and thin, and seeing her happy makes you feel happy too. It may not be what you want truly in your heart but at least you can love her, be by her side and be there for her... always. That pain will always be there but not much you can do about that but accept it, live with it, and take control of it. Like I said, who knows what the future holds for the two of you/us (with my situation too and my friend). The possibilities are endless!

[Iwanttobefree]

No I'm not going to tell her.
She's happy where she is right now, and that's what matters.
She doesn't hate me, so that's another plus.
I hope she finds someone who's better than me and loves her the way she deserves. And I can see why I'm alright with all of this. I have this feeling, and I never want it to go away.

[traveler]

I recon u should stop talking to her and just disappear for a while to clear ur mind and feelings

[Volk]

I think your actions will matter rather than your gods.
If you want her back, be how you were while you were with her, if she sees you as sad she will not want to come back. Also, be something she wants on a purely primal level too. Try to break contact with her (if you are speaking with her pretty often), if you aren't speaking to her often, ask her, in a happy way, out.

Though the emotions you are feeling really display your passion, I think they will just put her off, especially if you've already shared it with her.
I recognise what you're going through, it is the same here, she has a new guy though.
You know the situation in more detail than anyone else, maybe write down everything, and then put it to point form. Consider it from her perspective, by which I mean, imagine it happening to you, with some girl doing what you are doing. How could you become more interested in the girl, if you feel as neutral towards you as your actual girl does?

Good luck, it may be a small chance of getting her, but the chance increases depending on how you behave.

[finnman]

Action is seldom separate from emotion though it should be sometimes. You either control the emotion or it controls you - there is no middle ground.