She's gone, but i want her back

[will2992]

Jason

Thanks for everything, seriously helps me alot. Most of my mates just say "ditch her, lets get pissed and find some women!!" which isn't what i want to do right now.

I do need to find out how she truely feels, and i think i'm almost there in the way she talks to me still and told me how she loves me. But then there is always this feeling that i'm just being used, when no one else is available, as she knows i will say nice things to her. Another thing is she never seems to have time to think for herself, as she has been out every night since our breakup with friends who all say "he's a **** for doing it, don't bother with him anymore"

I know its a way of trying to forget, and if it was other way round i can't say i wouldn't do the same. Its hard because i've never been on this side of the "dumping" and never felt this strongly.

Anyways i'm off out for a bit, and so should you be! Its the weekend, time to just chill and relax with mates, and to go party at night!!! Will feel alot better with yourself after trust me!!!

[copybiz]

One of the best strategies is to let the relationship cool off for a while. Just let some time go by so she does not feel all this pressure. Remember she has made a decision and she is fighting with herself wondering if it was right.

After it cools down and you have given some real breathing room to her, write another letter in which you tell her that even though you understand her feelings it would be tragic if you were never able to show her that you can be trusted. Ask her to have dinner - as friends- so you can talk further.

Some times subtly opening the door can be the thing that brings two people back together. Once the door is open you have a real shot at reuniting.

The trick is the cooling off period.

[will2992]

One of the best strategies is to let the relationship cool off for a while. Just let some time go by so she does not feel all this pressure. Remember she has made a decision and she is fighting with herself wondering if it was right.

After it cools down and you have given some real breathing room to her, write another letter in which you tell her that even though you understand her feelings it would be tragic if you were never able to show her that you can be trusted. Ask her to have dinner - as friends- so you can talk further.

Some times subtly opening the door can be the thing that brings two people back together. Once the door is open you have a real shot at reuniting.

The trick is the cooling off period.

Very good advice thanks. I know this is a kind of "how long is a piece of string" question, but how long is the cooling off period? And when does it start to turn into the "not another chance" period? lol

[Molten Steel]

I really hope the best for you Will. I seriously don't want another guy depressed like I am right now. Do your best and protect your love.

[will2992]

Thanks, the suspense kills me though. I just WANT to talk to her, WANT to tell her how i am a different person to who i used to be. But i know deep down i am just going to push her away more and more.

All i can think of is her words "I want to be with you, but can't". They just run across my head over and over again. I can't seem to get to grips with the fact she can't be with someone who makes her happy, shows her all his love, does anything and everything for her, all because some silly messages

I tried going out clubbing with some of my mates, and it was quite a good night, but just seeing some of the couples out having a good time and dancing together really put me down, i couldn't even look at another women, i have the only woman i want in my mind right now, and she is all i want forever.

Hope you are getting better Jason.

[Molten Steel]

I don't know Will. Trust me it feels so very painful when it's officially over. Sometimes I thought of her and desperately wanted her back, but the thought that it is impossible only pierced my heart even more viciously.

Will, you still have hopes. Your love isn't over yet. You still deeply in love with her and she does love you back. I'm too clouded to think of a good strategy for you to win her back, but one thing I would have to say is you have to be persistent.

Will, it isn't over and you can't just let her go by such a minor mistake. You surely don't want to wait until it's officially over and she can find a new man. Save your love Will. I don't feel like seeing another would-be beautiful love gone down.

[will2992]

Yea i don't want to think about it being officially over, but i may be able to handle it a little better knowing i had tried my best. Would atleast give me some self respect. There really isn't any perfect plan to win anyone's heart back, and persistence isn't always a good idea as it annoys one person, and upsets the other with being put down again and again.

But i would pour my heart out a million times to her, if there was one chance in there that she would have me back. I know for a fact we could be so happy like we used to be before this incident happened. But she doesn't think she can take the rough times that may appear at the beginning

[Molten Steel]

Making a girl understand you would be a long process. She is sensitive and not yet forgiving enough to let such thing pass by. She needs time and so do you. But don't let the time pass meaninglessly. I did that and I had to pay. Care for her, and show that to her even if it needs to be subtle, that's all I think you should do.


I learned from some post in this forum that relationship is really a hard work and long-termed effort. I made the mistake of taking my lover for granted and believed she loved me too much to do anything bad to me. There was a period when I hardly see her at all because of my heavy workloads. That's when I think she found someone who listened to her and gave her advice, and developed a feeling for him. Right now I still can not believe it yet because the memories we had seemed so strong and binding, but I think she only sees those as a memorable past.


If you truly and unconditionally love her, care for her. Don't do that because you think she would come back, do that as you truly want to.

Good luck my friend.

[will2992]

I seriously hope you do find happiness one day Jason, something are uncontrollable and we shall all learn from our mistakes.

And i do truly and unconditionally love her, and will always be there for her and have told her that. Its just i'm still in the denial stage of the breakup, i will not be told that it's completely over. Gradually (if it doesn't work out) i will begin to understand that and will just be there for her when i am needed. I just don't want to be replaced by another person. I am more upset about her finding a new "best friend" rather than the physical side of things, even though that does make me feel sick right now