porn revelation is destroying me

[Junket]

Wow

Welcome to Loveforum.

[someguy1984]

Welcome to Loveforum.

lol

[bluesummer]

I was putting away my fiance's t-shirts in his drawer and noticed something peeking out the bottom. Some spank mag. Know what I did? I put it away and never mentioned it. The guy needs some way to service himself when I'm not around.

Men are visual, and sometimes mental images just aren't enough.

It doesn't mean he's comparing you to them.

[CocoChanel]

You are not being over the top. Men like to justify their actions by using their masculinity as a reason. Saying you love a person and cheating on them mentally doesn't add up but somehow men have made it our problem when we are affected by their porn watching. They say it's normal for them and it's no big deal, they still love you and don't desire the women in the videos. They label us as the problem and with insecurities because we don't accept their washed up excuses which is really a porn addiction if you ask me.

It's not you. Majority of men are weak and can't control their libidos. Most women have more control over it and can walk past a man or see a man that's handsome and not acknowledge it. Majority of women can be satisfied with their partner and don't have an urge to watch pornography. If a man has to think about other women and look at other women when I'm around or not around to "get off" then he has a damn problem. Not me. So please girl... don't even THINK about hurting yourself because your man can't control himself. LOL! Laugh at that shit.

[bluesummer]

It's not you. Majority of men are weak and can't control their libidos. Most women have more control over it and can walk past a man or see a man that's handsome and not acknowledge it. Majority of women can be satisfied with their partner and don't have an urge to watch pornography.

No, it's not her, but be realistic. It's a well known fact that most men are turned on by visual stimuli, not mental. My man ALWAYS prefers sex with the lights on as opposed to off because he admittedly likes to SEE whats going on.

Women are less turned on by visual stimuli and more by mental images or fantasies played out in their heads.

Also, being turned on by images of other people (whether mental or visual) does not equate to not loving your partner. I love my fiance to DEATH and there are plenty of occasions I've pleasured myself to mental images/fantasies that didn't include him.

Mind you, it takes a lot of security and relationship experience to get to that realisation. I thought the same as you younger ones when I was your age. I just know better now.

[Mish]

I love my fiance to DEATH and there are plenty of occasions I've pleasured myself to mental images/fantasies that didn't include him.

OMG Blue! You have cheated on your fiancée in your MIND!!!

You must have an emergency talk at once!!

[Junket]

You are not being over the top. Men like to justify their actions by using their masculinity as a reason. Saying you love a person and cheating on them mentally doesn't add up but somehow men have made it our problem when we are affected by their porn watching. They say it's normal for them and it's no big deal, they still love you and don't desire the women in the videos. They label us as the problem and with insecurities because we don't accept their washed up excuses which is really a porn addiction if you ask me.

It's not you. Majority of men are weak and can't control their libidos. Most women have more control over it and can walk past a man or see a man that's handsome and not acknowledge it. Majority of women can be satisfied with their partner and don't have an urge to watch pornography. If a man has to think about other women and look at other women when I'm around or not around to "get off" then he has a damn problem. Not me. So please girl... don't even THINK about hurting yourself because your man can't control himself. LOL! Laugh at that shit.

I can tell you're still bitter.

[Graham Berkeley]

Wait... You're SERIOUSLY freaked out about your boyfriend watching porn 1-2 times a week? Get over it. Sounds like you grew up in Bible country. BTW a guy watches AT LEAST 3 times as much porn as he admits too.

[someguy1984]

You are not being over the top. Men like to justify their actions by using their masculinity as a reason. Saying you love a person and cheating on them mentally doesn't add up but somehow men have made it our problem when we are affected by their porn watching. They say it's normal for them and it's no big deal, they still love you and don't desire the women in the videos. They label us as the problem and with insecurities because we don't accept their washed up excuses which is really a porn addiction if you ask me.

It's not you. Majority of men are weak and can't control their libidos. Most women have more control over it and can walk past a man or see a man that's handsome and not acknowledge it. Majority of women can be satisfied with their partner and don't have an urge to watch pornography. If a man has to think about other women and look at other women when I'm around or not around to "get off" then he has a damn problem. Not me. So please girl... don't even THINK about hurting yourself because your man can't control himself. LOL! Laugh at that shit.

Well put.

Graham Berkeley what are you talking about? Some guys really don't watch porn in relationships...How can you justify a statement like that? I'm talking to you on a forum right now and I'll never meet you ever in my life, so why would i lie? I never watched porn while i was in a relationship...Do i now while I'm single? Yeah...But, i didn't then...

So, i guess i would be a liar according to you?

[PsychoPink]

Honestly, I don't have a huge issue with porn. If I'm asleep in the other room and he's at his computer whacking it..yes I'd have an issue. I can't be there all the time, so sometimes he needs to do whatever.

My ex and I watched porn together sometimes. I must be odd for a girl or something, because porn does turn me on.

Just talk to him and let him know lying to you was not cool. IF he's only using porn 1 or 2 times a week that's nothing. Just remember he's with you, not the pornstar.

[Cbrider]

Welcome to Loveforum.

Where reality begins.

[Junket]

Well put.

Graham Berkeley what are you talking about? Some guys really don't watch porn in relationships...How can you justify a statement like that? I'm talking to you on a forum right now and I'll never meet you ever in my life, so why would i lie? I never watched porn while i was in a relationship...Do i now while I'm single? Yeah...But, i didn't then...

So, i guess i would be a liar according to you?

Honestly, I would be surprised if you had a steady relationship where you lived with a person for over a year.

I was smitten for the first year, and even being long distance at the time I never really bothered with porno. Just no interest.

Then later on we moved in together, and as the newness began to fade, I slowly fell back into old habits. Granted I definitely do not masturbate as much as I used to, I still browse sites for kicks.

We'll have been dating 3 years this November.

[MrNiceGuy]

Men are just horn balls. No matter how pretty you are... it will never be enough. They always look at other women. Masterbate to porn (other women) and some more shit. What Josh is forgetting is that he lied to you about it. He made it seem like he was against Pornography... but it turns out he watches it. That alone is enough to make any woman feel insecure. Other than the eating disorder... I have a history of sexual and physical abuse as well so I know how this probably makes you feel. It's something that you will have to get over though because when it comes to men and this subject... it something us women will never have any control over. Don't harm yourself because of this.

Yup, women never watch prOn or sleep around. That is just a myth.[/sarcasm]

[Gribble]

There are men who watch porn and there are men who lie about it.

Stick to the ones who freely admit it. You do not want to see what the other guys have on their computers. Believe me, once seen it cannot be unseen.

[Junket]

Believe me, once seen it cannot be unseen.